Never been kissed?

I'm 16 and never been kissed. I feel so ashamed. I'm a pretty girl and I have guys hit on me, but I'm very picky. Often the guys I like end up being jerks or like someone else and the guys who like me I just want to be friends with. I don't go to a lot of parties like a lot of my friends because I'm very focused on school, activities, sports and my job. I feel like such a loser because in my group of friends everyone has a boyfriend except me, I'm the only virgin and never been kissed. ughh. I mean I could just hook up with someone at a party but I'm very traditional and classy and I don't want it to be that way. My BFF lost her virginity at a party when she was drunk, I don't want to be like that at all. But still, I feel so unormal. I mean, high school sophomore and never been kissed, is that normal?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Actually, your girlfriends that are hooking up and having sex are the unormal ones. I'm sixteen too, sophmore, although I've been kissed, but I'm a virgin as well. And when I say kissed, I mean pecked. I've never made out with anyone. Yeah, It makes me feel strange and left out when my friends talk about all the guys they've hooked up with and stuff. But I have friends that are still virgins too, although a handful are not. Actually, some had lost their virginity back in eighth grade! Ridiculous, and disgusting, I know. But thinking about that makes me realize that I am the normal one. I have morals and self respect. My friends that are hooking up and having sex do not. They have this urge to fit in and do "what everyone else is doing." And with the whole 'right guy', I understand. I have the same problem, I'm way too picky. But I've realized that I can't just sit around for Mr. Right to come ringing my doorbell. I have to get out there and find him.

    For you, don't change who you are to fit in with your friends. Stick to your morals and if anyone is ever trying to pressure you into doing things your not comforable with, then maybe their not your friend. Stay true to yourself. And get out here and find a guy. No guy is going to be 100% perfect, so keep your expectations reasonable. Find guys that are focused on school, activities, and sports like you are. Or go to a party with your friends and pick out the guy who has morals like you. Don't give up, ever.

    Good luck gffff <33

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What Guys Said 8

  • Ladies. There's a big difference between "never found the right guy" and "the right guy never found me"

    Let me do a bit of a logic train here. Picky -> Lots to choose from -> don't need to go hunting -> can sit back and wait for male to appear around you. This is bad. Don't sit back and wait.

    Heres the thing. Pick a guy, Start to attract him. There's LOTS of help on this site about how to attract males (im thinking I might even write my own article on it). Is there something not normal about never being kissed? Well, I couldn't answer you that. Out of the 3girls that I've had and the 1 girlfriend that I've had I never kissed anyone. And I'm almost 18.

    Your problem is that your male potential is small (due to a small pool) as such you have less chances of meeting a good guy that will like you and actually be good at trying to get you to like him. You've probably run into a few of them but you didn't get lucky with conditions 2 and 3. ATTRACT a guy. Don't sit back and wait.

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  • That's awesome that you're 16 and have healthy enough of self-esteem to refuse to give away your virginity just to fit in. You have to believe me, there's nothing wrong with being in your situation. You feel pretty, you focus on school and sports and stuff when a lot of your friends just party a ton (not that that's wrong), you call yourself classy...I think it's cool.

    A kiss really isn't a huge deal, the big thing is that guys WANT to kiss you. If you're pretty and get hit on a lot, it doesn't make you picky to not hook up with guys you aren't interested in...it makes you a cute girl who has to deal with a lot of guys wanting her. The alternative's a lot worse, just ask a girl who guys don't even notice.

    The kiss will happen when it happens, don't you dare waste your time feeling like a freak because you've never been kissed. It's not an issue (even if it SEEMS like it is or should be) so just live your life, have fun and don't worry about it.

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  • Don't worry about it I didn't get my first real kiss until I was in my Junior year of high school. The whole thing about being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed about and you shouldn't feel pressured at all to give that up. There's no difference between losing it now or later, just make sure when you do that it's with Mr. Right.

    I would say loosen up a bit and go to a few parties with your friends. I don't mean that you have to go get drunk but it's a good way to meet some new people, or see some people you already knew in a different light.

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  • You said it, you are a high school sophomore. There is nothing wrong with you having not been kissed yet, and there is certainly nothing wrong with you still having your virginity. I didn't have my first kiss until I was a junior in high school. Don't let society, or your friend group, pressure you into doing things. The fact that you are classy and traditional is a very admirable quality. It's something that a guy who truly cares about you, will find very attractive, because it shows that you have a very high level of self-respect that a lot of girls don't have. Don't worry about what your friends are doing, it is perfectly alright for you to be where you are, because after all you are only a high school sophomore. Party if you want to, but keep your self-respect and self esteem, because it is a very rare quality these days.

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  • You haven't kissed anyone because of your own decisions, its completely normal to just wait until you've met the right guy, nothing wrong with it in the slightest.

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  • listen don't worry you will find the person that is right. your not alone in this world ether so take your time and make the choice when its right for you

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  • i havnt lost it and I'm a sophmore to, I have been kissed and stuff, I think you should stop being so picky and pick one and see how it goes if it dosnt go good then get another one and start there, and I fell you I don't wana lose it at a party either, I want it do be with someone I at least know for a little while and like

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    • How can you pick a guy to kiss that your not into at all? If I did that I'd probablly vomit

  • Yea, don't be in a rush. I hadnt been kissed or "lost it" ill college. then both had my first kiss and "lost it" with the same girl. :D

    Its totaly ok. and don't let any guy tell you otherwise.

    But if you ever want it to change, may have to be a little less picky.

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What Girls Said 10

  • id say its pretty normal. well the kissed bit I'm not so sure about- there's no harm in experimenting babe. but virgin? no idea why your worried about that bit! you seem to of made it quite clear in your question that you don't want it to be some wreckless drunken thing.(and your quite right too!) so if that's how you think its done then youve got another think comin darlin, honestly- you loose your virginity how ever you want- if its at a party. then its at a party. if its at his house. its at his house. I'm affraid only you can decide- don't think you have to be pumped with alcohol though.

    and you said.

    "I'm a pretty girl and I have guys hit on me, but I'm very picky."

    the first person you get doesn't have to be the guy you loose your virginity with just experiment with different people as you go along you will feel a lot more comfortable with the whole idea. lol.

    but wen you say your abit fussy over everything. maybe you should LOOSEN UP A LITTLE. have some fun- not ALL THE TIME becasue there are more important things than parties. but you can be picky when it comes to the one you want to take your virginity. anyone else I'm sure it won't matter if your just trying new things.

    believe me babe- I know a lot of people in the same boat. and me aswel. I've never kissed anyone but I've been fingered and stuff. I've never got off with anyone in my life. but other things will happen and you just gotta go with the flow babe- we just kinda skipped the first part lo0l. x

    hope I helped. any quierees. please message me! XxxX

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  • Ohmygoodness why are you so ashamed of something like that? That's very special, in a way its like a mini virginity. So many people take things like kisses for granted, and go around making out with everyone (I will admit, I was one of those people). Being traditional and classy and not giving it up so easily is something all the guys that are WORTH it will respect. You say your best friend lost her virginity drunk? You never forget your first, whether it be a kiss or sex, you will never forget who you first shared something so special with. I don't know if never being kissed as a sophomore is normal or not, all I know is that it really doesn't matter. Who cares what other people think? Wouldn't you rather be called a virgin than a whore?

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  • I never got kissed until the end of sophomore year, don't feel bad it's ok. I'm like you very school,work and sports oriented. I have a horse to care for constantly and most people don't realize how much time that takes up. I just waited until I was in a meaningful relationship. The first relationship just didn't feel right, I was with the guy for 6 months but never kissed him or did anything physical, besides hug.

    I think you should wait to share your first kiss with someone who deserves it, someone that you really care about as well. Cause it won't only be your first kiss in that relationship (which tells a lot about that person's feelings for you) but your first kiss period. As everyone says, the first kiss is like a lot of other firsts, you'll remember it forever. Just wait, there's no rush in getting your first kiss, when it happens it'll just happen :)

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  • This could seriously have been written by me! I'm 17, and pretty much all that you wrote applies to me too.

    First of all, don't feel ashamed. There's no reason to feel ashamed. It sounds to me like your friend should be more ashamed.

    You're not a loser, you're probably just more independent than your friends. I know that many of my friends have boyfriends just so that they're not alone, and I must say that I find that a bit pathetic.

    The thing about guy friends liking you is really annoying, isn't it? I never quite know how to act around them afterward. I've figured out that the reason that guy friends fall for me is that I'm myself around them, and not nervous. I don't know if this helps you, but I'm going to try to relax more around the guys that I DO like. :)

    Seriously, don't worry about it. It'll happen when it happens, and I'm sure that you'd rather find a really nice guy that you really like, than some random guy at a lame party. Just be true to yourself, however clich├ęd it may sound. :)

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    • Same here! same thing, same story, same life. it seems that the guys I do like ARE jerks and wind up even asking out other girls.

      yeah been there...done that...

      so my advice to you is that it doesn't matter. I always tell myself that I'll find the right guy. even if it doesn't happen in my 2 years of h.s, it will happen in college. everyone is different in college and things change.

  • Its nothing wrong with it. Everything has its time and place. Guess what? I've been kissed and I'm not a virgin but I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 18. The guy who gave the first time to everything has not asked me out. I feel way more ashamed than you...

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  • you're 100% normal. I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend or sex. just think of yourself as hard to get if it makes you feel better. your friends are easy and will never truly be respected. I love that no one has ever had me, because even if they want me I've turned them down and that makes me the one to aim for rather than the one to use for quick easy action. you're solid. I always used to feel so bad saying "no" or "i don't like you" to guys, but now I say it and feel badass, haha. remember, no guy or girl, for that matter, likes an easy catch.

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  • Thats completely normal. I'm gonna be 19 in May and I've never been kissed! As for what your friends are saying - take everything with a grain of salt. They are the ones who are not normal.

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  • I'm a junior and haven't been kissed, either. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I've had chances to experience my first kiss but as I see it: When I'm old looking back on my first kiss I want it to be somewhere special and with someone I KNOW I won't agree sharing it with. So don't just kiss someone for the sake of never being kissed. The time will come and it will be special and you'll be happy you waited for the right person. :)

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  • I'm 20 and I have never been kissed before. Think of how I feel hahahaha. Kill me much? HEH.

    Giiiirl you have plenty of time you're young don't rush it.

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  • Don't rush it. How awesome would it be if 20 years from now, you can look back on your first kiss (whenever it happens) and tell the sweetest story about it?

    "Oh, he caught me right when I almost slipped and the moment was just right."

    Yeah, those sappy movie situations may or may not happen. But you definitely want the moment to be right.

    Just start considering more guys. You don't have to kiss them, just don't kick them out of the game at first glance. So yeah, I'm saying what everyone else is saying. Don't be picky, but don't be easy either. There's a fine line.

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