How to choose between two girls?

Hello, I am currently meeting two girls now, and since I have never been to this situation before, I am uncertain about how to deal with this circumstance and am also feeling guilty. Please give me advice so that I act prudently without going through trouble.

First of all, I am a Korean guy, who moved to the U.S. about 10 years ago. Since I spent my childhood in Korea and teenage years and college in America, I am open to women from both cultures. Due to this resourcefulness, I am torn apart between an American girl(Girl A) and a Korean girl (Girl B).

So I have been meeting Girl A for 3 weeks. Just like typical western, American girls, she is independent, outgoing, energetic, and fun. She is about 2~3 years younger than me, so she is pretty mature too. I went couple of dates with her, and wow she is a great, passionate kisser. She can literally blow my mind with those beautiful blue eyes and lips. She lets me kiss her as many times as I want, and I yearn to make love with her. She has a great body with curves too.

Girl B is Korean and is about 5 years younger than me. She is innocent, pure, kind, elegant, and very feminine.. She is extremely gorgeous too and is almost as good looking as those actresses you see in Korean drama. (just google "korean actress")

It seems that she has never met a guy before, and she comes from church, so if I date her then I would need to marry her. But start dating her would not be accomplished by multiple meetings and would take me a long time and effort to build rapport.

So the bottom line is that I get to have more fun with Girl A while Girl B would take me a lot of effort to date but she could be someone I can be with in the future. Korean marriage is not only a union between man and woman but also between families. Girl B and I come from similar backgrounds, so I wouldn't be tearing apart my mother's heart and would fulfill the duty as the first born grandson in my family. (you may find this silly but I come from a family with more than 1,200 years of history.)

I really don't know what to do. I want to meet someone serious but also want to have fun. Would it be wrong to continue dating Girl A casually and build rapport with Girl B, so that I commit to Girl B? If wrong, please tell me what to do to deal with this situation.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're a thinker, huh?

    You see...The issue is you really cannot think that much when it comes to relationships. You can't reason why it is more logical to to date one over the other. I understand the cultural implications. I really do. I'm of Asian descent myself, so that ball park is pretty familiar to me.

    Reasoning is a pretty useful skill to have. But when you bring that into the relationship, ├┐ou are basically saying "I should date you because of (reason a), (b), and (c). So you're setting yourself up to become obligated to a certain decision because it logically makes sense to do it.

    That being said, it just sounds like you want the best of both worlds. The most diplomatic answer would be to find out what you want right now. Weigh your options. I'm assuming you are relatively young--marriage being over the distant horizon, but still something to be considered. Being with someone doesn't mean you are tethered to them. You can have a relationship without having to consider marriage as an option. But if you care about either one of these ladies, I would advise that you don't string either one of them along. You could end up having a fall out with both.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Tough, but I would say do what your gut says.
    If you're making the decision based on your family, I would choose B.
    But from the way you described it, you seem to have more fun with A.
    If you think girl B is worth a lot of time and effort then choose her. If you don't want to do something as difficult then choose girl A.
    But it seems like you wouldn't even consider girl A for anything long term, so maybe B is the better option after all.
    Wow. This is hard even for me, I don't know what you're gunna do man xD

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  • Who did you meet first and who did you meet second? Choose the second one, whichever they may be, because if you really cared for the first one, they you wouldn't have started to fall for the second.

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    • I met girl A first, but subsequent to meeting Girl B, I still fall for Girl A and vice versa. I am serious and am not playing with words now. :(

  • i would say rmake a list of things that you find very important in a girl, and see who has most of them, and also weigh which one makes you happiest but w-e you do do not string both along, it can only cause problems

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What Guys Said 1

  • Flip a coin

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    • I wish to have two coins instead if there is no moral qualm.

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