Single and dating, like a guy, but not ready to be serious. What should I do?

I just got back to college a month ago. I've been single for about six months since my ex and I have broken up. I FINALLY feel happy being single, and I was ready to have fun being single and sexy at college! :) Then... this guy who I had a crush on for quite a while--let's call him "Gabe"-- recently broke up with his girlfriend (because he was in a relationship previously, I didn't make a move on him, obviously). We've been spending a lot of time together and Gabe recently admitted he likes me. However, because he just got out of a relationship, and because I'm not ready for a commitment, we agreed that we were going to take things REALLY slow, get to know each other first, and see where this goes. I also made it clear that I was keeping my option to see other guys open, since I wasn't ready to commit yet-- he's okay with this.

Here's the other part: I have this guy friend back at home, "Tommy", who I sort of had a "thing" with during the summer... well, to blatantly put it, we're kind of friends with benefits (meaning, YES, I did have casual sex with him, nothing more than that). Tommy has told me that if he or I got into a new relationship with someone, he would be sure to back off. Tommy and I occasionally text/chit chat from time to time, maybe flirt once and a while too.

Here's my dilemma: Now, I could just be over thinking this, but I'm not quite too sure what to do at this point. I wasn't planning on getting into a relationship any time soon, but I'm really starting to like Gabe and I like spending time with him, too. But I'm not too sure what's going to happen the next time (if there is a next time) I see Tommy, either. Half of me feels like if I do something with Tommy, I'm being "disloyal" to Gabe. HOWEVER, the other half of me is screaming, "YOU'RE SINGLE! DO WHAT EVER THE HELL YOU WANT!"

People, I really need some input here. PLEASE tell me what you think. Since I'm single, and not quite ready for a relationship, is it okay for me to do stuff with another guy, or should I hold off? And should I just not tell Gabe anything because I'm single and it's my life?

Sorry for the incredibly long post. =P

PUH-LEEEEEEAAAASE give me some input. Thank you!


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What Guys Said 1

  • just explain to him what you did here, your not ready for a large commintent at the moment.

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