Men, how long does it take you to get over things?

Guys, if a woman unintentionally hurt your feelings, but nonetheless, you were hurt very badly, how long would it take for you to get over it?

I think I said something to hurt my friend's feelings. We've been friends for over 25 years and we used to speak often, but I haven't heard from him in over a month since saying what I did. I apologized, but still no word form him. Will he stay mad/hurt forever?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I read what you wrote to jwhite90. I know this may sound weird but maybe it's possible he did get in contact to have an affair with you. It would explain why after saying your not interested in dating him that he broke contact with you.

    Not trying to be harsh but he wouldn't be the first married man to get some action on the side.

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    • No problem. I doubt he thinks little of you, you were probably one of his 'what could have happened girls' and he wanted to find out. Don't feel bad, what you said wasn't offensive and he could have only taken it as such if that was his intention.

      Best of luck :)

    • Thanks. I have a feeling I'll need lots of luck and patience until he resurfaces...if he ever chooses to.

What Guys Said 7

  • Depends on the girl, nature of the relationship; hey, even context, and what was said.

    This even happens in platonic friendships - even when guys talk to each other.

    Sometimes it's a completely different perspective that you have verses what we have.

    I had a friend who I called about some work advice - he was a techie, and I'm not, so I called him to "pick his brain." As we were about to hang up, he suddenly apologized for offending me at an event a month earlier, that he had gone way too far, and realized it, and had hoped that I wasn't too angry.

    I had no idea what he was talking about; finally, I found out he had been making jokes about my mom (you know, yo' mama jokes), and he had thought I had heard him, when I hadn't, and I had just left at that time. Later, I had found out what he had said; I was a little ticked off, but not to a level of never speaking to him again, and I basically took it for what it was meant to be, and wasn't ignoring him because of his insults; I was just a bit busier than usual, and my schedule had changed.



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  • It depends. What did you say?

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    • It's a long story...I'll try to make it short. We've been friends for a LONG time, but lost touch for many years. He got back in touch and has kept in touch at least weekly for over a year. We live in different states, but planned to meet for dinner when we were both in the same state for business. He called our future meeting a date and I told him I don't date married men (which he is). He told me he didn't mean "date" in that way. I apologized, but since then, not a peep out of him.

    • Well for me personally, it would probably take less time than that so I'm not really sure. Sorry :/

  • Lick My Wounds? Mate, If You Hurt Me You'd Have Officially Lost The Right To Have Me As Part Of Your Life. lol

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  • if I KNOW it was unintentional... I can get over it soon because I'm forgiving... but if didn't know... id say a month or more but it really depends on a lot of factors like the severity of it and stuff..

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  • In that right now. No clue how long it will take

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    • Did she apologize for whatever she did to hurt you? If so, did her apology help at all...or is it just a waiting game...you'll be ready when you're ready?

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    • Yes, your situation is different from mine. Sorry you're going through the pain, but it sounds like you're probably better off without her. Good luck finding someone new, hopefully she'll be more kind and considerate to you.

    • I figured it was. Thanks. I don't know how to find someone new.

  • Well, it all depends how much they meant to me and how long I have known them, but I would get over it eventually, and wouldn't be mad anymore, but would stil bel hurt, because I would have missed all of the good times we spent together.

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    • Yeah, I'm guess I'm a little hurt too. My friend and I have known each other for 25+ years. He knows me pretty well and knows I wouldn't say/do anything to purposely hurt him. I'm surprised by his silence even after I apologized. Not sure what's going on.

  • Ex dumped me 4 months ago and I still have open wounds. She was horrible about it.

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    • If she apologized for her behavior, would that help you heal faster?

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    • Sounds like you're better off without her then. Hope you're able to move on.

    • Thanks. It's been tough, but I am moving along well.

What Girls Said 1

  • based on your title, I thouoght you were asking how long it takes men to lick their youknowwhat haha. Anyway back to being mature, it varies for guys. If they really/truely liked the girl, then it takes time, almost same amount of time as girls but girls are way more emotional.

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