Looking for some inspiration from other men who were once in the rut romantically and pulled things off. Not out of sheer luck. But in a change in mindset, approach to their lives.
Ever since I've turned 30 I've been become increasingly disillusioned about things. Complaining about women will not get anything done. Getting advice from women MAKES THINGS WORSE. I learned since I was 23 that women give horrible dating advice.
But I need to chat with successful dudes.
I'm also trying to pay off debt (I'm a huge dave ramsey fan). I'm so determined to pay off my credit card/student loans I don't even own a car. No I'm not a loser in my parents basement. I have a corporate job and I make 70K a year. I also live in socal...very expensive.
Most Helpful Guy
Here is the secret, I really want to help you cause I was the same as you once. If you are not naturally confident it really not a big deal all it takes is a strong initiative, you have to push your boundaries, push your comfort zone, don't settle for what you are, but aim for who you want to be.
Check it... 2-3 years ago I was the biggest nerd. I played starcraft:bw and civilization all day, I avoided girls unless I was completely hammered. I had not had a girlfriend for years. Eventually I got tired of always seeing other guys getting girlfriend while I was single.
So I started asking why was it that I was single? Obviously you know why most guys are single. They lack the confidence to be cheeky and funny and cocky around women. I used to make every excuse to avoid talking to girls, especially if I liked her.. from pretending I was not that into her. To imagining that she could do better.
First lesson, don't make excuses, it is that simple! You need to perceive your self as a catch and you are doing her a favor by talking to her. You obviously are a unique person that has something to offer, identify these things. I for one am great at understanding people. I also am very open to people and don't mind sharing my views. I am very loyal. I have many stories and interesting things that have happened to me so I can keep conversations going with anecdotes all day (something I have to thank my mom for since she is a writer).
Once you have your fortes down make sure to sharpen them and use them. F***it practice in front of mirrors and in the showers (trust me it is not as uncommon as you think). I would practice telling stories I felt would be interesting and would demonstrate how awesome I was. As they say practice makes perfect. I would also look at how other people who were much better and confident than me socialized and approached women. Learn as much as you can from others, if it works for him try to see why it works for him and copy shamelessly.
Also one important thing that many guys neglect and is arguably the easier on the list is to dress well. A friend once told me, some people would never spend 300 dollars on a pair of shoes, but they would spend that much on video games or a cell phone. If you prioritize your looks it is one thing girls will notice, they definitely won't notice how awesome you are at starcraft or the latest graphics card you installed in your pc. Because women place such high standards in looking good themselves they like it when a man does the same.
Anyway once you have wrapped your head around what you got to offer and sharpen your self and your image a bit then it is just a matter of going out there and meeting and socializing with as many women as you can. As I stated in the start, push your boundaries and push it vigorously. Dive straight into the cold water. Before long you will see what you found hard once, like saying hi to a random girl will become second nature. Question 5333392
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