Is there any way back?

So This girl and I were best friends. She had a boyfriend and I knew it, but I didn't see her as a girl I wanted to date anyway, she was just one of the guys. She started relying on me a lot and she saw me more than she ever saw her boyfriend. We went to dinner all the time and and hung out all weekend. She started calling me constantly and my every waking moment I wasn't at work was spent with her. Finally I saw her boyfriend do some very d***headed stuff too her and I decided that she deserved better. I started bettering myself, and started involving her in everything in my life. She made me take her to meet my parents and would slip and call me by her bf's name and would also slip and say I love you at the end of phone calls. One day she sat me down and told me that if you mixed me and him together that we would be the greatest boyfriend ever. Well a friend slipped and told her that I was in love with her and she withdrew her friendship. Nothing hurt more than when she chose him over me. I ended up getting very sick and needed hospital attention, and she was always calling and making sure I was OK. I got better but the friendship wasn't there still. She would only call me when they would have a fight and break up and she wouldn't tell me about it. They finally broke up for good in late August and the following Monday she called me for something she already knew. Since then she only seems to call me when its an emergency or if she really needs someone to talk too. I have decided I need to stop trying to talking to her constantly and that I need to give her some space. Is there any chance I can win her over? If so how?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No guarantees however, if you want a chance firstly give her space, that is essential. Secondly, stop being her 'go to guy' because then she will always see you as a friend only. Stop hanging out too much, it will give her time to think and maybe miss you. Good lukk :)

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    • I feel as if she will start contacting me after about a week or 2 of silence from my end. I usually I m her all the time and that has been our majority contact. My question to you is, if she does reach out to me, which she has when I have done this in the past, do I talk to her, or blow her off?

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    • Yes to let her know you're still there and not completely shutting her out

    • is all this good bad or neither for me?

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • No chance. Do some research here on GAG and you will see tons of questions just like yours. This is the typical girl uses “guy friend” as an emotional crutch. Use the keywords “friend zone” for similar questions…

    IMO, you should never talk to her again, unless she says she is interested in a romantic relationship. She was using you to vent and for favors. When did she ever return the favor? Was it even close to a 50-50 friendship? I’m guessing not even close. Think about it, when an emotional emergency happened she was there calling you for help, but then once she get what she needed she disappeared. This is so typical…

    In the future, if you are interested in a woman NEVER allow yourself to be a friend like this. If you find yourself always doing things for a girl and never receiving anything back, get out of the friendship.

    If you are interest in a woman, get more assertive with your desire up front. Guys get themselves into these situations by being way too passive. Girls like a man with confidence, not the guy who hints around and is too afraid to ask. You can’t be afraid to hear no.

    How do I know this? Because I was you years ago… I did everything for her, called all the time, listened to her cry when her boyfriend cheated… Once I told her my feelings she withdrew. Sound familiar? Don’t allow it to happen again.

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    • dude, I now usually there is no chance, but there's something that tells me to fight on for her. I was really fat, lost most of the weight and feel that if I lose some more and am thin that it might help, any thoughts?

    • Keep improving yourself for you, not her. Again, the ball is in her court and you can?t force her to play.

      On a side note, that one girl that used me well we had the same circle of friends so we would see each other often. I improved myself like you are doing (twig to bigger muscles) and gained a lot of confidence. I started dating other girls and she took notice. Eventually, she made a move on me, but I rejected her (felt amazing to do that). I thought to myself, why would I want to be

    • Thats what I am doing, but I don't think I could ever reject her in the end

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