Too much going on to get a girl?

I am a 17 year old and have never had or even really had a conversation with a girl. I mean, I am not an unapproachable person. Girls have no problem talking to me, I just have problems responding or reacting properly and I always end up embarrassing myself. I have a lot of friends, I'm in multiple sports, and I am rank 21 (last time I checked) in my class. The closest contact with a girl I've had was when I started a conversation by pointing out something funny she did. She then got really into the thing I said and I froze as she started talking to me. I felt like I jumped out of cover in a firefight and my gun jammed. I was very embarrassed, especially because my friend was able to bail me out and take the conversation off my hands.

Another problem is that I am a little strange. I don't want any sex. I'm a heteroromantic asexual and only want the companionship. On top of that, I am diagnosed as being sadistic (not severely, I can control myself) and I only allowed this to show once when I won a fight and continued to beat the guy. I felt embarrassed after that because I felt WAY too good after I was done.

My fear is that even if I would get to talk to a girl I wouldn't be able to make any moves, and if I did that I wouldn't be able to keep her because she'd start to learn what I'm really like. Any comments? Advice? Questions? I'd prefer to get a girl's opinion on this because I can talk to my friends all I want and they already gave me answers that lead to dead ends.

Am I destined to live life alone? Because that would really suck...

Also... please don't question my sexuality or sadism... I know what I am, I have talked to psychiatrists, I doubt any of you know better about that...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that all will begin to make sense to you when you do find that girl who is a great friend and companion, that understands and accepts you for who you are? Like in what way is it hard for you to talk to girls? Is it that you get nervous or embarrassed? Or a lack of confidence? Ital be easier for you to speak to girls once you get started it will become much easier. Also you having issues with your mother you shouldn't let that get in the way of your social life with girls or women..I have serious issues with my dad and have learnt that at times some people and friends can be more accepting, give you more confidence and keep you much happier than your family can.

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    • all the things you mentioned are what make it hard for me to talk to girls. They seem arrogant, so I avoid them to avoid insult. If not that then I'm afraid I'll say something offensive.

    • Well you say that your friend saved you when you felt jammed in a convo and didn't know what to say..do you think it may be easier for you to talk to a girl if one of your friends started up a convo and you just eased your way into it and joined the conversation? I think that it may be a small step to try and if it gets uncomfortable for you you could just easily leave the convo and not feel awekward as your friend will still be talking to the girl.

    • That may work. I'll try it when the opportunity arises.

What Girls Said 1

  • That is so interesting. Is there any particular reason that you cannot talk to girls? I want to go all psychologist on you and ask how your relationship is with your mother? I think who you are is fine. Like a person who hates dogs shouldn't feel obligated to hide themselves from the world just because of rejection. It is who you are, you know? What does sadistic mean exactly?

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    • My mother I kind of hate, we never got along because she was really controlling.

      And sadism means you are attracted to watching/causing other people's physical or mental pain

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    • I don't know... I really don't

    • Do you think you have the capability of love? What do you think of children? Do you want them? Do you see them as precious and innocent as I do?

What Guys Said 1

  • Talk to girls like their guys, just don't think about it it's really not a big deal they're just people lol and that sadist thing is pretty f***ed up man not even being an a**hole when I read your question, I literally thought you have potential to be a murderer. Seems messed up but I'm just telling you what I thought lol

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    • I suppose you would think that. Like I said, I am in control of it so no crimes should be taking place

    • I hope so.. do you know sadism is common?

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