Online dating mistakes?

So I recently moved to a new area and decided to give online dating a shot. I've had a lot of positive responses to my profile, and a surprising number of women I've written to have responded. Some said some very flattering things - like mine was the first interesting message they've gotten, that they'd love to get to know me, that they liked certain things in my profile, etc.

PROBLEM: after a message or two back and forth, just about every girl has stopped responding. What did I do wrong? Was I too eager and responded too soon, said too much too soon, asked too much? What's the line that shouldn't be crossed to soon online? What makes you likely to keep talking to someone online and eventually meet them for real? Help me out, ladies.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think there is nothing wrong with your profile if you are getting good reaction to it. It has to do with the conversations you are having. Who knows what turned those women off. But online dating can be hard. It takes a lot of work. I met my boyfriend online and it took me about 6 months of working hard on my profile and messaging people and also meetings before I found him. It sucks when people just drop you like that, but its probably for the better. Maybe it was something you said, or perhaps they had been talking to someone else before and got into relationships. Or maybe they weren't even that serious about the online scene. All of those are quite common things to have happen, and yes it is very frustrating.

    I don't know what you currently do when looking at profiles, but I would only message women who have a good profile, a few pics, and actually wrote some stuff on their profile. Otherwise it's most likely they are not taking the site seriously and you will just end up wasting your time on them. I know that sounds crazy but some people just do it for attention. Not all but some do, or they never intend to meet anyone. That is true for not just some women but some men as well. I had guys who I had messaged who never messaged back. And it wasn't until I stopped responding to the guys who didn't have pics or didn't have a complete profile that I started to get results.

    It's okay to send a couple messages and then exchange information or even meet. I would just give them my msn, it's a neater way of messaging because it's real time and you can kind of get an idea of their personality. Plus if you start talking on a regular basis like that, it's easier for the girl to feel safer about meeting you. Suggest meeting for coffee in a public place, and just chilling. That way there is no pressure if either one is unsatisfied with the meeting and wants to leave. It relieves the pressure of meeting somewhere like a restaurant where you have to awkwardly wait for food, or whatever.

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  • I have been doing online dating for awhile and have the same problem a lot of times. As long as your keeping the conversation on a friendly level and asking questions about what she might be into then your doing nothing wrong. Some people really just loose interest these days in e-mailing because we are so use to text messaging or intant message where you can get a response right away.

    I met my boyfriend off plentyoffish, and we exchanged I think maybe 4 e-mails and then he sent me his cell number so we could text. I think you will be able to hold someone's interest more so if you give them your number. Just you know, be careful with who you give it to of course.

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    • hmm, that's the opposite of what I thought I was doing wrong. I usually get on the website every 3 or 4 days. A few times I responded the next day, and always imply that I want to take things slow.

      You're saying it's better to exchange numbers quickly? Don't think that's too eager/impatient/creepy?

    • No it's not eager or creepy. When I was looking to meet someone I didn't want to have to wait days to e-mail and I know a lot of my friends who do the online dating like it when they can just text and get to no the guy that way. You could just give it a try with a girl you know for sure she wants to get to know you and see how it goes.

      I lost interest a lot when the guy didn't respond to e-mails for a couple days. Everyone just moves on to someone who will give their number.

    • haha I did, but she turned out to have...issues. Alright, I'll try to speed things up. Thanks!

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