How long you been after a woman/man? for more than…one day/year?

Women/men are on the look for men/women who can do things differently. They want men/women who can assume new roles and can handle them

For certain men/women, the challenge of seducing different women/men is far more interesting than the actual pursuit of a long-term romantic relationship

A woman/man may be so concerned about rejection that he/she makes sure he remains in complete control of every relationship he/she enters, no matter how superficial or fleeting. Some relationship experts suggest that a habitual woman/man may be months after his/her target...

  • After a woman/man for a year or more...
    43% (44)40% (22)42% (66)Vote
  • After a woman/man for three months but less than a year...
    23% (24)18% (10)22% (34)Vote
  • After a woman/man for a month..no more
    20% (21)16% (9)19% (30)Vote
  • After a woman/man for an hour, up to a week
    4% (4)11% (6)6% (10)Vote
  • Other, state otherwise
    10% (10)15% (8)11% (18)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I thought your question was, "how long have you been a woman/man for?"

    And almost answered...FAIL

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What Girls Said 27

  • 2 years for me. The problem is he is older and is a co-worker and a very respectful guy. He believes that I'm too young, but I know that he has feelings for me. He says we are just going to be friends, and it hurts like hell. I've tried numerous times to move on, but something always brings me back. If I had one chance I would take it and I would never give it back. Others may not see what I see, they don't think he's very good-looking, but in my eyes he is that guy that I can see myself with forever. Looks only go so far before you want more. God knows that I am not perfect, and he def. isn't perfect, but I feel like together we are compatible and perfectly imperfect- if that makes sense? He is incredible, and I swear that if he was mine I would treasure every second, minute, hour, day, year that I was with him. It's the most powerful feeling in the world. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I could feel this passionately about someone. I just wonder if I should wait till I get older and then try pursuing something, or if I should just completely forget about it because he does say we are just friends.

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    • I don't know how much older he is to you but if you seriously feel that he has feelings, he just might. Now, his reasons for not dating you because of your age difference may be true or he may have other obligations that you are unaware of or his ego may be blown because of your interest. What I've learned about Guys is that when we stop showing an interest in them, they come RUNNING after us. Enjoy your life and if he's interested after you stop paying attention to him, you've got him :).

    • You are very right! :) Thanks!

  • It's been 4 years... still a work in progress. :)

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    • :O holy moly girl! I want to give you a high five for going so long! lol how do you wait?!

    • I am unnaturally patient. XD Plus I know he's worth it!

  • I flirt for a bit..and then give him clues that I like him and possibly tell him and ask him out...if he declines...I move on.

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  • About 4 years? I think..

    I wasn't really after him though. I just admired him, and we somehow kept bumping into each other, weird stuff.

    But yea, I guess that does not count.

    I don't really go after anyone though.

    I don't like exposing my feelings, and I fear rejection.

    I guess I figure, if they are interested in me, they'll say something, and I won't have to do anything.

    I know that's not a good process and whatnot.

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  • Hmm well I'm not going to get into it(too boring)but I've sorta been after a particular guy for over a month:-(

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  • 1,5 years ... I want him really really badly but I'm too stubborn to make it happen I was going to but him being just as stubborn made me not take that step. It still kills me though that I no longer see him. There is not a single freakin' day when I'm not thinking about him, so go figure.

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    • Dont you think it's time to move on?

      Either you go do something about it RIGHT NOW (this week at least) or you give up and live on

      But its your deciscion ofc ;)

    • Show All
    • It's all about timing, you BOTH must be ready for each other. Sometimes we have an interest in someone and because we want it right here, right now, we push and push. Then we get it we realize why it wasn't happening at that time. Not saying that you and the Guy will never happen, but maybe it's not the right time. Live and enjoy your life. When the opportunity comes for the two of you, you will be ready.

    • @wicksjm

      Wow what yo said was just spot on! I believe that if I met this guy somewhere else than where I met him before (complicated story ) it would have been different :S Good timing is indeed everything :( I'm trying to just forget the whole thing and enjoy my life, but really thanks for the advice! I appreciate it :)

  • 3 years. and still falling. By far the longest I've ever fell for a guy (and chasing after)

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  • I don't mean to sound conceited, but I can really get any guy that I want. Also guys I don't want. I had a little crush on a guy for about 6 years and I asked him out on the sixth year! things didn't work out so I didn't push it, but I still always had a little crush on him.

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  • i used to like this guy when I was in 5th grade. I had to move and still liked him even tho I haven't seen him for 3 years. I became friends with him on Facebook and decided to just move on and I did ^.^ but I guess that doesn't count huh? lol. The guy I liked the guy I like now for about a year and so. Everyone thinks he likes me back but he doesn't bother to make a move. Just going to give up and move on with that one as well. lol

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  • 1 yer mark was last month... I'm pretty sure I love him but I don't want to make the first move...:/

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  • 5 years, and still failin'

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  • The longest I've ever been after a guy was 2 years back in high school. It was in my junior and senior year and the guy was 2 years younger.

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  • I really liked this one guy for about 5 months, maybe. He didn't like me like that. Didn't end well :/ Sigh

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  • 4 years

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  • i've never really been the type to chase a guy. if he is interested in me as I am in him then we shall try things out and see where they go.

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  • 4 years

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  • moving on 5 years. it's not like I'm not seeing other people as well, but still, so sad.

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  • I was after my ex for 2 years, but then gave up lol

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  • 3 1/2 years, It turns out that he thought I was some weirdo-creeper all along and he wasn't staring because he felt the same. Shows how much I know how to read people. lol My woman's intuition is "out of order".

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  • I hit the year mark mid-October. But it was mutual.

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  • I have been after this guy for a year. He was the only guy who I truly liked and I kept after him. After telling him I liked him, being the one to ask him on all the dates, he is now my boyfriend of 5 months. I love you Will.

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  • currently about 2 months...but that's about when I him :P sooo, yeah.

    But past ones have ranged well past a year... usually around 2 before my live physically relocates me anyway...

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  • For two years. We knew each other for a while, and he STILL didn't know what he wanted in a relationship, so I got fed up.

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  • I've been after a guy for 6 months... he's showing signs of interest but I'm not sure I want to make the first move!

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  • There was one that I was after for 2 years it would of been three but I couldn't do that to myself anymore. Hoping for something that would never happen is the worst feeling ever.

    Currently the guy I had a thing for way back when, I find myself falling fo hm again and my dumbass told hm so yeah once again rejected by him

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  • I've been going after this guy for 2 and a half years now...which is a long time when you want someone so badly.

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    • It's too long!

    • when there is hope ... you can't just switch it into not wanting a someone. Hope is a beautiful but also a very dangerous thing. That's why I think everybody should be honest about their feelings so we can save time ... focuss on other stuff instead of being trapped in a dream

    • It is a long time, but I think he is worth it.

      and yeah, I should be honest with him about my feelings, but I'm a very shy person, which makes it very hard to do for me. And, he's had a girlfriend on and off for a while, which makes it kind of awkward. I agree with you though.

  • I don't hunt for guys.

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What Guys Said 21

  • I have been infatuated by this girl for about 8 months now, and its nothing crazy, just that I would do anything to date her, but she has a kiddy, and her husband or boyfriend lives in poland, she is lithuanian, and we talk and have laughs, but no matter how hard I try to flirt, she is non responsive towards them. I know she has problems with her other half with the cheating etc, but she still fails to see me past the friends we are, so gutted, but I refuse to push something towards a pottential damage. Her kid knows me well and we spend a lot of time together, but not once has she hinted that we could be more than mates or that she even wanted it, but to hear her sob stories of how she knows her other half cheats when he is in poland, which he has been for 41/2 months now, it breaks my heart, I put it down to being English, but hey, I got a good friend though, so its not all a loss lol.

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  • 3 years... Sadly, no other girl has been able to make me feel the same way, my heart pounds out of my chest when I see her and it drops down into my stomach when I hear something bad... Unfortunately, I am to blame for messing it all up, but, she still comes back for some reason... I have yet to make anything official ever. My mind fighting with my heart, I just want her to be happy but, at the same time I want to be with her, I've been vexed for years.

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    • I feel you on this one my brother

    • Show All
    • @jacquesvol

      I want to ... I really do! But my brain is failing me ... every day, every single hour. I'm like a broken record -_-

    • @Jacquesvol maybe a little but, I have yet to let It interfere with other girls. I give them a chance but they don't seem to match up or even close, I have quite a few good girls that are friends, don't feel the same way, I am not pushing out any new people, on the complete opposite I actually have been pursing them more since I first met her but yes I do agree slightly with you

  • I fell in love when I was 14. We were in the same class at HS. She didn't want to be anything more than distant friends. (she too was 14) Just to prove how stupid and stubborn I was :

    I didn't give up, for 4 yrs. I missed a lot of other very interested (and interesting!) girls during that period: I just didn't want to see them. Then we went to different colleges. That saved me: I started acknowledging the existence of other girls. My longest relationship then was about 1 yr. My shortest an afternoon. I met my wife at the Uni, when we were both 20. We're still happy together.

    And my first love? She lives 25 mi from here, married, one of here daughters is a year younger than my son, the other a year older. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers 5 years ago, I phoned her once, when I needed to help someone with a problem in my friends professional field (suicide prevention)

    She contacted me once, also to get help for one of her friends. We met last year at a class reunion. Just friends: I'm happier with my wife than I could have been with that old love. But I went through hell during 4 yrs.

    Yes, I should have moved on after a few weeks or months, back then and I could have enjoyed the others.

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  • As long as it takes! The longer you're after him or her, clearly you're interested enough and it'll make a terrific story if the day comes when you get together...

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  • I've liked a girl off and on for about six years. Finally realize that it's not gonna happen, but it's hard for me to move on. She is the only one I've liked for over a year.

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  • Out of stupidity and not knowing any better I chased girls for a period of months but knowing what I know now, I wouldn't give those girls a week probably.

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  • Thanks for the lecture...

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    • u welcome..help us to realize how much time we waste/invest in this..

  • It's been awhile. I met her in 9th grade and I thought she was pretty back then, she still is and I have a crush on her but I'll never tell her. :\

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  • loved this girl and tried winning her back for over 2 years. always will but its time to move on!

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  • I had been after a woman for 17 years until I found her.

    I had been after a man for the last 2 of those years and as I said, I found a woman first.

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  • Can't really recall exactly how long, because I've tried to put it behind me. But it was for a number of months.

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  • No more than a month, a little more maybe. Yes I give up early or lose interest early. Either way I'm learning my will to hold out for a single girl to be really low.

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  • 3 years and a half...and I ended up dating her for a while, it was over in 3 months...(so much effort for three f*cking months)

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  • Nearly 11 years... And I'm only 17... FML.

    I swear, I will never get over this girl.

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    • Haha, that was me in high school...middle school... elementary...then I graduated and moved way on :P took about a year and new people, but this too shall pass.

  • i remember being infatuated by this girl for 2 years, then I lost interest completely. but other than that I haven't liked someone for more like 3 months.

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  • Ive been looking for about 3/4 years...no luck (im nearly 18)

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  • mmm I love a good chase

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  • 7 years but I enjoyed it

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  • I've had one-itis for going on 3 years now..

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  • the challenge of seducing a woman? 3 months, and that was for a long-term relationship that just happened to take longer than normal. If you mean just to sleep with her, a week, and that was an extreme length of time.

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  • About three months and then I think I would loose interest, I do like the chase but if it's prolonged then it gets boring

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