Would you marry/date someone with kids?

i know I could never... but I'm womdering how people cam.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well you asked whether I would. And I can't give a yes or no answer right now because when children are involved it's not just a matter of "Do I want to be with someone who has children ?" but mainly a matter "Can I handle being with someone who already has a child?"

    Children come with great responsability, no just financial, but tons of other one and especially the responsability of being an important adult in this child's life. And the situation is always quite difficult: does the kid till see his other biological parent ? What about the previous relationship between your now spouse and the mother/father of the kid ? It can be a source of drama when the adults involved are not mature enough to handle it wisely.

    Now if I was in love with a guy who had a kid, I can't deny that I would be wary at first and would like to know the story of why and how, but if our relatonship was great, if there was chemistry, I wouldn't hesitate to date him. I mean, I don't see kids as a definite "no run for your life !" situation in a guy. And if our relationship was great enough so that we would consider marrying, I wouldn't hesitate neither, and would treat his kids just like mine. Partly because I would love him but also because children are children, and it doesn't matter whose they are, they need to be cared for.

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What Girls Said 21

  • Yes. My ex has several kids and I fell in love with them when I was falling in love with him. If we had worked out, I probably would have considered marriage and kids with him. His kids were never an issue for me, I would have done everything for them if we'd stayed together and progressed further in our relationship. Even broken up, those kids mean the world to me and I like spending time with them when circumstances allow. They've had complicated lives and need as many people around who love them as possible. I'm happy to be one of those people even though my relationship with their dad failed.

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  • i can't unless the person can show a maturity level that means they can handle a relationship and maintain their's with their kids...you see it from the get go its hard to mistake for anything else. Once you can't well then you'll just be another friend with a kid

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  • Sure. I'd love to be with someone who has experience with children.

    But I'm not getting married any time soon.

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  • I have no preference, but honestly I do tend to prefer it a little more as long as he and the baby momma aren't fighting all the time, and they are mature and can actually get along. I'm actually going on a date with a guy with a kid today. He's 20 and younger than me, but he actually is a very good father and seems like he's pretty mature for his age. Unless the guy isn't a total douchebag, the way a man loves and raises his child is a reflection of what kind of boyfriend he will be in my opinion.

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  • No I would not want to be perceived as a mother figure. I feel especially men would be looking for help bringing up their kids. I don't want know if I want to have my own kids ever or not anyone else's.

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  • For me it depends... right now, I'm 20. I don't think I'd consider dating anyone over 25. Someone who has kids at 25 is likely on a very different path than I am. But if I was older and in turn looking at an older age group to date, that might be different.

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  • No, not at this point in my life. I'm too young for such a responsibility. I'm only 19. Now I might if I were like 35+ because at that age you kinda have to expect it. But ideally, If I'm with a guy who has kids...those kids better be mine too

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  • Well...I'm a single Mom and have met quite a few guys who didn't have a problem with me having kids.

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  • Sorry, but oh boy, this shows how young you are. While I would "prefer" to date someone without children myself, the statistics are not in our favor. More people than not have children. It may be something you will - eventually - have to deal with,

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  • Not at this point in my life, but maybe when I'm older I would be OK with it.

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  • I think I could when I'm older/have a career/etc. I'd want to be solidly mom aged in relation to the kids.

    Right now that wouldn't be the case. Nor am I in a place where I'd want to step into any potential mothering role.

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  • Sure, but ...always a but. I would not if those kids lived with them full time. I've raised mine. Been there, done that.

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  • they would have to be worth it, but yeah.

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  • no, not right now but if I still wasn't married in 10 I might consider it

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  • Yes, absolutely. I love kids. It wouldn't bother me one bit.

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  • No, maybe if I were 35-40 it would be acceptable

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  • No

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  • not at my age, I'm only 21. Maybe if I was older, like over 30.

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  • absolutely not

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  • At this point probably not but if I loved him enough sure it's his kid.

    Most of the friends I have, have children and don't haveva problem finding a guy ironically.

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  • I could not date a guy with kids.Because its always in my mind that he still has a part of his past with him.And I'm not comfortable with my boyfriends past.The reason why is because I was dating this guy and he cheated on me with another girl then got her prego.Now they have a 6 month old baby together and that hurt me baceuase I was cheated on but he still has a part of his past in his life and now they are not together so that just adds more to the problem.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I am divorced and have a daughter, so I think you can all guess what my positive answer will be...

    I am NOT looking for a woman to replace her mother. If the next woman in my life has a child, I would entertain the idea of being a father figure, but I could NEVER replace a father.

    In different stages in your life, you will answer differently. And, I would wager that if you met the right person, you'd marry them, regardless of what life has helped them experience.

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  • I'll date single moms, but no serious relationships will come about it. The kids ... are baggage. And no matter what ... even if things seem to be going well, it's just 'too good to be true'.

    I want my own offspring. Not take care of another man's baby. That's bullsh*t, and I'm not a sucker for it.

    Even if the girl says that I would never be the 'replacement father', it's a lie. I'll have to be. And those kids probably woouldn't respect me for that either.

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  • It depends on where I am in my life and what the other person's situation with their kids in. Preferably I'd like to start my own family, so I wouldn't seek out someone who already has kids or might be more guarded because of their past relationship. If 2 people who had problems so bad that they couldn't work them out despite parental concerns must have had some serious problems. So I'm sure they'd be too guarded to be thinking about that sort of thing.

    However, I could probably see myself dating someone with a kid later on my life if I felt a real connection.

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  • At this stage in my life, no. Later on, Yes, most definitely.

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  • I would date one but not get in a serious relationship

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  • Maybe, I wouldn't rule it out.

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  • Thats a negative ghostrider.

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  • yes I would because I love kids

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  • O yes, if I love her, it would be no problem. At least if she doesn't expect me to become responsible for their financial well being...

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  • Umm... no.

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  • Yours, Mine & Ours doesn't work very well lots of times and results in 2nd divorces..but...it can work... o.O

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  • I don't really mind due to the fact my mom was a single mother and she dated several guys. I guess maybe the hard part would be disciplining A child that isn't mine far less than being a father/male role model to him.

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  • I would. I wasn't fortunate enough to have any of my own.

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  • Only if I was a single father. Otherwise, never.

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  • No unless I'm over 32 and single then one kid is fine. Anymore than that is unacceptable.

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  • I don't think so.

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  • If I were single again, yes, in fact, I could really ONLY see myself getting into a LTR with a woman who already had kids.

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