so a few weeks ago I hung out with a guy I've known awhile. it was our first time hanging out one on one, and we ended up hooking up. no big deal.
thing is he's got a hell of an ego. (overcompensating in my opinion, he's pretty but not really packing downstairs). whatever, the sex was great and we're highly compatible there.
he's told me before he likes when a girl pursues him. that's really not my style. like I'll say hey I'm interested but I don't chase a guy.
so since we hooked up I've kinda avoided him. he's gotten a hold of me a few times since, wanting to hang out. either he texts when I'm working or he tells me to get at him on my night off and I neglect to do so.
now, like I said, he's a good looking guy, and actually a fairly decent guy too. I know he doesn't have problems finding females that are interested in him. for a fact actually, we're friended on a social site and I've seen females point blank tell him that they wanted to change his single status. he flirts with other chicks. no biggie, I flirt with other guys on there too.
i guess I kinda figured after a week or two of me evading, his interest would wear off. especially since he likes being pursued. but it hasn't yet.
so what I'm wondering is if there's potential it might be more then just a booty call he's after, or if its just some ego thing since I haven't pursued him? like wanting to prove he can hit it twice or something?
from a guy perspective, why would you keep trying if you hook up with a girl, and afterwords she's still friendly and shows some interest, but makes no attempt to get together again... ?
- Interested in seeing where things goVote A
- Simple booty callVote B
- Not pursuing him bruised his ego, now he's trying to prove he can hit it twice.Vote C
Most Helpful Guy
You're playing it wrong in my opinion. (You and the many other women who adopt the approaching of hoping a guy who has already had sex with you would now chase you for a relationship) Men chase women for sex, not relationships. You're obviously interested in dating this guy, but you're more interested in remaining coy and asserting your value and leverage: as if to say "yes we've had sex, but I'm not really that easy. As you'll find out, you're gonna have to work to get more from me". But the logic here is backwards; you should've asserted your leverage as a woman before sex.
Many women have kinda played themselves out of some good pee pee or a club friend or a friend or maybe even a dating mate- or whatever I could've turned into for them- by making an obvious attempt at trying to 'game' me, in the wrong direction nonetheless! Just think of the logic involved- the guys who chase women are the guys that women run from. Guys chase women when you can't get a woman. You don't chase a woman you've already got or had. Understand that the invites and calls post sex are mostly a courtesy and kind of a 'meet you half way, it was fun so why not do it again' type olive branch. When a guy is calling you after you've had quick sex with him he's not doing it because he's sprung; it's an olive branch! He's trying to be cool about it. So when you come out and all a sudden stop returning calls and start playing coy, most guys are like "well f*** this b****. I'm trying to be nice, maybe even see what's up with something further, and she's over here trying to play me. She's just a groupie, and c** rag anyway- who does she think she is?".
If YOU (as a woman) are interested in a relationship with a man you are in close social proximity, and most esp. a man whom you have kind've already communicated to that he is above you in value by sleeping with him quickly- it is up to YOU to pursue a relationship, not him.
You may not want to go along with that, but just the rationale involved should tell you that this is the reality. Guys don't *'settle'* down with girls who are jump offs to them (i.e., girls whom you can get to have sex the first time hanging out) if she also expects him to put in work to pursue her too.0