Would you ever date someone who has cheated in a previous relationship?

POLL Question = Would you ever date someone who has ever admitted to cheating in a previous relationship?

Do they deserve another chance? Do you think they would be more likely to cheat again?

  • Yes I would
    17% (17)6% (3)13% (20)Vote
  • No way
    39% (39)41% (21)40% (60)Vote
  • Depends/Maybe/Possibly -Explain
    40% (40)43% (22)41% (62)Vote
  • Results
    4% (4)10% (5)6% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Never, the type of guys I'm into would never cheat. I only like guys who have pure hearts.

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    • It's interesting how not many guys said they would but many girls would. Wow is all I have to say.

    • Yeah. Although, conversely, there are a lot of maybe's from both genders. I didn't go into much detail on this question, a lot of it can be situational (ie they did it multiple times in the past, as opposed to one time ect ect).

    • Sorry meant "guys say they wouldn't"

      I was only focusing on A because the numbers are so different. That means girls accept cheating or rather can forgive cheating while guys cannot.

What Girls Said 39

  • I would have to talk to them about it to say for sure. I'd appreciate the fact that they were straight with me about it. If it was one time and for reasons I find legitimate I might be able to deal with it and proceed with caution, but multiple times most likely not.

    The issue I have is that they should've just broken up with who they were with instead of cheating. That lack of respect for their partner is what is off-putting, and it's a deal-breaker. If it was more spontaneous rather than fully concious, then it's still a problem in my eyes, because I'd question their judgement and trustworthiness. Still, there are some cases with more extreme and unlikely situations that I can be understanding about.

    The bottom line is, I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone I don't trust.

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  • I would need a very long, detailed explanation. For some, cheating is a habit, and a bad one at that. A few people actually enjoy cheating on their significant others :/ others justify it with really really sh*tty arguments of "nature," which really means they have no idea what they are talking about :p Don't date a science junkie and then use "nature" wrongfully :P

    I'm all for second chances, but only under the circumstances that I deem acceptable for myself. I'm not going to line myself up for disaster. I refuse to date those with fickle or feeble minds.

    A big portion of my views on dating men who have previously cheated is due to how many people cheat because they are unsatisfied. I will never be able to fully satisfy someone. I'm just not good enough to fully satisfy someone to the fullest extent. I'd rather not risk it.

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  • I would date someone who admitted to cheating in a prior relationship because yes everyone always deserves another chance when they mess up..exspecailly if they can admit they did wrong to me. I guess it would be impossible and a lie to say that I woudn't ever doubt them but I'd try to give them the benifit of the doubt and understand that they want to move on from that and they want us to work if they actually told me of there fault before hand. I don't really belive in the saying once a cheater always a cheater but I would have to say it would probably be tempting to them yah.

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  • Depends on the person and situation. What if I was 32 and dating and the guy I like is 35 but cheated on someone when he was 16? I don't think that really matters because, I'm sorry, but teenage boys are idiots. Now, at 18..I don't think I could date a guy that's cheated. Because he's still immature and would probably do it again.

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  • No

    Cheating is the 1 behavior/action that I've promised to never accept or let slide by. Cheating is often a habit.

    Not to mention, I don't believe cheaters change immediately after cheating. Years from then they may change(people mature & change), but immediately, like a year or two? Nope.

    I'm not saying they DON'T deserve a second chance, but their true colors have shown and cheating isn't something I'm willing to put myself through.

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  • No, not a chance.

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    • So should someone who cheats never bring it up ever to you?

    • Show All
    • Yeah I guess I'm trying to see where you draw the line of forgiveness. But you would really talk about past relationships with someone though? That's usually something people skip because ti just makes things awkward you know. Like maybe a guy will talk about an ex 'she would do this and that" and inevitable you would most likely compare how you are to the ex. It might bring up some awkward feeling between the two of you.

    • A guy I like talking about his ex doesn't make me feel awkward. She's his ex, and thus probably not a part of his life anymore. And yes, I'd want to know about past relationships. How problems in past relationships are handled says a lot about a person.

  • That would make me extremely uncomfortable and red flags go up. I have experienced that and I don't like the people who are capable of deceit

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  • My gaurd would be up. However, plenty of people have cheated in past relationships and just never tell the next person. So the only difference is, is that you know this time.

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  • no. because I have had a few ex bf's cheat on me. how did that make me feel? like garbage.

    so if this person I'm dating is likelier to cheat on me, I doubt I would want someone who isn't really strong on morals. I'm very unforgiving as well.

    I treat others how I want to be treated. I am not unattractive either neither unintelligent but I definitely will give a solid no to anyone who I think will cheat on me, just cause its 'a game to them'

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  • Nope. I am absolutely SICK of cheaters.

    But, then again, I can't say...I mean, if I never knew they cheated and found out

    later, AFTER I fell in love...well then, I would need an explanation..but, hope for

    the best :/

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  • If it was a few years ago, my answer would have been yes. However, I did give a guy who I loved (because I knew him for so long) not one, but a handful of chances and he cheated and hurt me every time. He is the main reason that I've decided to avoid this situation ever again and just never date cheaters, ever. Once a cheater, always a cheater - I firmly believe in that now.

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  • Most likely no because I am a firm believer in "Once a cheater always a cheater!", I especially do not like it if a guy breaks up with his girlfriend just to be with another girl because what if he does that to me.

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  • I did that once, then he ended up cheating on me...

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  • it depends on how long ago it was, say like a year ago, most likely not. but if it was 3+ years then maybe, it also depends on what the relationship was like before they cheated. Say they were the perfect couple with minor flaws, like the s3x was bad, then it would be stupid, but if the relationship was horrible, it's almost expected from so-called 'nice' guys who don't want to hurt their feelings, but end up hurting them in the end... I would almost never date a cheater, but if the cases were okay then maybe.

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  • I wouldn't date someone who has cheated. I believe the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater" thing. And people will make excuses saying that they just weren't happy in that particular relationship or with that particular person for whatever reason but I think that's bs. If you cheat, it's something wrong with you, not the person you were dating and that thing in you doesn't change.

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    • I don't think that there is always something wrong with the cheater who cheats on his girlfriend/ boyfriend. Most of the time the cheater cheats because he is missing something from his current relationship whether that is that spark, deep romantic love because the cheater may not be feeling it when he hooks up or the cheater wants to be with you because you do share some sort of connection but he knows you don't have what his looking for so he cheats so he can find the one his been searching for

    • I completely agree with teamderek13. If you're not willing to work through the stuff that you're missing/you don't feel like it's enough, then why are you in that particular relationship at all? Might as well just break up, rather than ruining the other person's trust completely.

    • @happykitty I agree about the person being unhappy in the relationship...but then break up. The act of cheating is just a complete disregard for that person. It's a lack of respect. Being unhappy in a relationship doesn't give you a license to cheat.

  • Everyone deserves a second chance, but second chances are only a one time deal.

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  • A: Yes I would - People cheat because they are unsatisfied. Sometimes the person could just be greedy and I would be able to tell if he were greedy before I got involved with him. Also, sometimes it's because they may have had a selfish lover, or they feel obligated to someone that isn't fulfilling their needs. I think I could fulfill someone I loves needs.

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  • people change, you aren't your past.

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  • I would be wary about it, stepping into the relationship with caution, but if with time he proved himself trustworthy and did nothing, I'd probably learn to trust him.

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  • I would. People make mistakes, it's part of life. Maybe I'd be making a mistake getting into a relationship with someone who cheated. Oh well. People can change, I deserve they deserve a second chance. It's not like they killed someone.

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    • Yeah, you're saying that now. But once you experience the excruciating/heartbreaking pain of the man you love cheating on you with another woman you can't will regret ever giving them a chance. What's worse is you'll look back on this and realize how naive you were for saying this. I'm not saying this to insult you, I say it because its a painful thing to go through. You will develop trust issues and will most certainly worry about your new boyfriend cheating. It leaves a long lasting scar.

    • I've had a guy cheat on me before and it wasn't as bad as you make it sound. I think people over dramatize someone cheating on them. It happens. If they were "the one", they wouldn't have cheated. There's other people out there that might be a better fit.

  • Dump her!

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  • once a cheater always a cheater so HELL NO! I believe in second chances but he can have a second chance with someone else

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  • C- it would depend on both how long ago, and why? I take cheating very seriously. never something that should be done.

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  • There's a reason why he cheated

    1- because he was just playing around didn't want anything serious and the girl who he cheated on didn't see It

    2- he wasn't happy with her...

    3- I would date him and I'll make sure he doesn't cheat on me from the beginning...

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  • Yes, because people change.

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  • i'd definitely proceed with caution

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  • Depending on the guy and he would really have to earn my trust

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  • Nope, I couldn't be with a cheater.

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  • I MAY DATE someone who has cheated before, not would. I don't think I'm able to handle being in a relationship and married with a person who cheated before unless there's a very very special extenuating circumstance. I won't lie that I'd try to avoid having someone who has a cheating history as a lifelong partner. It will take shed loads and something very strong from within to convince me at this point in time why I should date him, but I'm open to view this matter based on individual circumstances. We gotta do what we gotta do to protect ourselves.

    As much as I believe people deserve a second chance, we have to look at the context of what mistake that person has made. For instances, sometimes people cheat because they had a very bad family upbringing that say consists of many cheating and stuff, or maybe under substances or alcohol influences, like drugs etc.. Once they are sober and stuff, we don't know for sure whether they are willing to change their life around for real.

    What's even more interesting is that the willingness to accept a partner who has cheated sometimes depends on how far off they have been together (e.g married for 10 years etc.) and how open they are with cheating. Usually at a dating phase, chances that we can accept a partner who has cheated is pretty slim, unless we are feeling very insecure or desperate or head over heels over this partner. But if we are talking about people who have married for several years, for instance Victoria Beckham who knows that David has cheated on her before still decided to stay on, but Elin Nordegren on the other hand decided to leave. It's really hard to say.

    There's a high chance a cheater may cheat again, but that doesn't mean he/she will.

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  • considering my history of being played by a guy and being heartbroken, no, never. I already have trust issues with men and I will never trust anyone completely, especially a cheater.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 20

  • Really depends. If I find out in the early stages of dating, I'd definitely cut myself loose and get out of that as soon as possible. If later, after getting to know the person and given the reasons.. I may allow it to pass, but the chances of that happening are small.

    I've never been cheated on but I typically hate the prospect of it. I mean, if you really don't like the person, at least have the balls to tell them upfront that you're ending the relationship before you compromise your integrity by cheating.

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  • Oh yeah. I'm a big believer in 2nd chances. And I'm not too hung up on monogamy either, to be honest.

    If my partner strays it's not necessarily a deal breaker. So long as she can be honest about it, we could work through it.

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    • This is my feeling as well, especially if it was a long time ago. I'm willing to give that person a chance. But I might make it clear that if they cheat again they're out.

  • If and only if it was a one-time thing and she would never do it again. Even then, though, I may be skeptical.

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  • No, that reveals too much about their character for me to accept. I value loyalty above pretty much everything else, and someone who has cheated before, shows loyalty means very little to them.

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  • People alwats deserve a second chance...there are many factors why he cheated, all of factors that are not always his fault. So might not give the person a chance? Off course I will be on guard, but I will give her a chance. She may not cheat on me.

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  • No, there's a saying that goes "One's a cheater always a cheater" So yes it's more likely they will cheat again

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  • As a general rule, I probably would not date a woman who had cheated. However, my decision would ultimately depend on why she had cheated, and to what degree.

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  • No. Trust is a valuable commodity with me, and once it's broken, it's broken. Sure, I can give them the benefit of a doubt, but there's always that doubt-

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  • Everyone is liable to cheat in the wrong relationship. Someone might have had a really boring and abusive relationship in the past, so cheating may have been one of the only options at escaping. It can be understandable, and I'm not going to force myself into a loved ones past without their consent, so I think I would give them a chance, yeah.

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  • I probably would. I don't have a reason it would just depend on the person.

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  • Not if I knew about it. All the people I know who cheated once did it again years down the road.

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  • Nope, a cheater is always a cheater

    It's a personality trait, they are no loyal

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  • Yes,if she seems decent.You have to be open minded.This is not a middle age.But also have to be on alert for some time so that wouldn't happend to you.

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  • Depends on how long ago it was and the circumstances of why she cheated. Was he an abusive a**hole? Did he cheat on her as well (not saying that two wrongs make a right)?

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  • Oy, cheatings bad. Ironically I think I might if I hadn't been 'the other guy' in their last relationship, if I was the guy they used to cheat I would definitely not date them. But of course Id want to date someone whose never cheated

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  • no

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  • I like the fact that she was able to come clean about it but, the reason alone would determine if I could date the person or not.

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  • F*** no. I mean, there's a small chance. But, it's VERY unlikely.

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  • no I wouldn't. because they will treat us the same way

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  • No way man. If they didn't mind cheating on the one before you they certainly won't mind cheating on you either. Ignore the writing on the wall and you'll be next.

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