I feel like I'm shallow? Guy one or guy two?

It seems to me that I look for an attractive guy, then I try to find something good in him to make me want to date him. It feels like looks is a really big thing to me. For example, there's two guys that I talk to right now. One is cute, and has a good personality and I guess would be called 'safe.' where as the other , is a babe .. He's a nice guy, but I also get the hint he's a bit of a player and that this isn't his first rodeo. But for some reason, I'd rather pursue the less safe choice and try to mold him into what I want. I was thinking about going for the safe one, but I'm not really attracted to him .. So I think that would cause problems. So which guy?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "But for some reason, I'd rather pursue the less safe choice and try to mold hin into what I want."

    They ALL try to do that, and they ALL fail. Just read the all the "I dated a player and now I feel like he's cheating on me" questions on here, you'll get the hint. But HEY, maybe you'll be the one to succeed, who knows.

    All I know is that it's questions like these that make guys wonder why we shouldn't just all be a**hole/player types, or why it even matters having a "good" personality when it seems like such a disadvantage. I guess when you can't control what you put your penis into, you're much more exciting because women want to tame you...

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What Guys Said 7

  • Sounds like you're still in the bad boy phase. BTW you will never mold any guy into what you want. That just doesn't happen. And too many girls your age think they can. Just forget that mentality now before you get hurt.

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  • In the short run a good looking person can be fine but if all they have going for them is looks then whatever you have won't last long, in the long run I think personality beats looks all the time.

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  • If your smart the second one but since you're not really even attracted to him then none. The dilemma you have is what many girls do aswell. Usually they go for what you consider the hot guy then regret it later when they got used for sex.

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    • Well at least it was a fun ride haha.

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    • I know you would like too? wtf! lol.

    • I was reffering to my d*** hahaha my bad.

  • go for the player! Then you will learn. Its best to learn things from experience.

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    • I have learnt hahah

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    • What's your point?

    • Oh nothing...

  • Don't be an idiot girl and attempt change. Go for the "cute" guy.

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  • Go for the guy you're actually attracted to!

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  • You should go for the one that you're attracted to. All girls go through the "try to mold him into what I want" stage. It's sounds quite manipulative first of all, and it never happens that way. You can't change someone that doesn't want to be changed. Good luck nonetheless.

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What Girls Said 4

  • eh, I mean, sometimes there just has to be some inherent physical attraction before things can take off. not to say that's always how it goes.. but you shouldn't feel guilty if it is.

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  • I know what you mean but I would go for the guy that you aren't attracted to as much because he is nice and will probably treat you great. And you said he's cute, I would at least give him a chance you know?

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  • Yes, we all want to be 'that girl' who's able to change the player and make him settle down. A guy who changes his ways and stops being a total douche just to be with us.. making all the girls jealous. What a fairytale..

    As long as you know for sure your just not another one, go for it. Though I'd prefer the cutie with a great personality or wait for a guy that has all the qualities you want.

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  • I know what you're going through. I'm like you when it comes to that. And it sucks. I'm starting to get past the looks and like the guy for who he is, not how good looking he is on my arm. Lol. It is totally up to you. Are you looking for a long or short term relationship? Hot guy could be short or long. Just remember that he's like arm candy. All he has are his looks. Nice guy would be short or long depending on if you can get past his looks and focus on his personality and what makes him great. If you do go for the hot guy, there's a reason why people say nice guys finish last. Good luck. :)

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    • Definitely long term

    • I'd say go for the nice guy cause he won't treat you like crap unless you are willing to put up with it for the hot guy. And after a while, you'll find something cute or hot about him like his eyes, hair, smile, etc. Good luck with what you choose! :)

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