Why date someone you're not interested in?

Been dating this guy for about a month. Took me to dinner, sometimes to a club to go dancing, but there was hardly any physical contact till the fifth date and it went from 0 to 60. I spent the night and now it seems like he's avoiding me. He claims he's very busy and sorry that I feel this way and if we could still be friends. I never asked to stop dating, I ask if he was interested or not and if not he shouldn't have slept with me...He claims he's always been interested and thought I was uncomfortable around him and thought being intimate would relax us. I told him that was never the case, I thought he was holding back because he was confused about his feelings. I wanted to continue dating him if that was OK. He responds that he wants to see me again for sure, and he would set something up soon. I'm not sure if this guy is lying because he doesn't want to hurt me or he's truly busy or he just wanted to get me in bed, mind you, wasn't that great for me and I want another shot at it. lol But I don't' want to waste each others time with a sex buddy or with someone who's not into me. I'm so confused.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You come across as sharp enough to know if you're being used as a "bed buddy" or not. If he takes the time and effort to set up something with you again (as he said he would,) that's a good sign. If not, or if he only asks you out at the last minute and/or late at night, you've got your answer right there.

    He might have decided he's not interested or he might be commitment phobic. I don't buy the "too busy" line. He was able to find the time to go out with you and spend the night with you before, right? No one suddenly becomes so busy that they fall off the face of the planet, BUT if that were the truth and he is still interested, he will make sure he contacts you (it takes 5 seconds to send a text, just sayin.)

    Either way, if you want a real relationship and don't want to waste time, don't settle for less than what YOU feel is right. You have the option to lose interest in him as well. Don't accept scraps!

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What Guys Said 1

  • As you've learned the hard way, it's never a good idea to be physically intimate too early. How long has it been since he told you he would "set something up soon"? If it has been more than about two weeks, you're probably not going to hear from him.

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What Girls Said 0

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