When someone says they have depression does that make you want to avoid dating them?

Let's say it's someone you like and as you get to know him he reveals to you that he's got depression and takes medication for it.

Would that make you want to stop dating them or turn you off? Or no? Why or why wouldn't you?

Updates:
So if someone did have depression should they avoid revealing it to someone if they want to date?
Next question is... if a guy revealed to you that he had depression while you were officially together, would you break up with him over it?
I've officially been on GAG for 3 years. Yay!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If I really liked him, it wouldn't matter to me. People are not disorders. I have my own set of problems he's gonna have to deal with anyway, so why should depression be a deal breaker?

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    • @ update : no, I'd suggest you wait until you guys were getting closer to tell her. But not telling her at all would kind of suck if she eventually found out.

    • Yay sank yo :D

What Girls Said 3

  • Doesn't matter to me. I don't think people realize how common depression is. So long as he tries his best to manage it and so on, I'd be willing to make it work. It doesn't change the way I think about him, or make me feel like I have to walk on egg shells or anything. I'd treat him exactly the same as I did before I knew, because it just doesn't make a difference to me.

    If he only revealed it after we were officially together, I'd be understanding. I don't expect people to tell me things until I earn their trust, so it's okay. I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of in having depression, either - so I don't think they have to hide it.

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  • I want to say "yes" because I have been there & done that, and I can't handle anymore. It's about time in my life where I start to enjoy. =)

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    • @update: Not sure. I think they should tell the person, so the person doesn't feel tricked.

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    • If he shows signs of improvement, and he helps me in my own faults then I would date him, but that is just me.

    • @update: congratulations! =P Happy Anniversary.

  • My brain automatically goes on healer mode and I focus more on making sure he gets better before I can consider dating him or getting romantic with him.

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    • So before you would have dated him, but now that he revealed this you wouldn't?

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    • @2ndupdate: Absolutely not. I think if we were already together then it would be more of an obligation for me to help him through it. I would give him whatever he needs in this time, like if he needs space or support. I would be there for him because I would care.

    • It's like I said, assuming he didn't really show signs and he has it under control then I would still be concerned for him but I can see myself being able to get along just fine. It just depends on his attitude and if he believes in himself enough to have it under control.

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't think you need to tell someone you date that you have depression, its not like its a disease they can catch. Your depression will probably be pretty evident to anyone you're in a relationship with, so its not like they don't know. And if your long-time girlfriend doesn't know you are depressed, then I would say you it pretty well have it under control.

    If you are living together or engaged then I guess you should probably share. If it is just some girl you want to date, I would definitely not share. It is too personal and over sharing could be a turnoff.

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  • girls will want to avoid the guy, guys avoiding the girl, not so much, in a girl's mind, perspective, there is never an excuse for a guy to feel sorry for himself and feel down, it's like girls expect guys to be robots, as in have no emotions, I hate how girls love strong guys, as in strength is the first thing they look for in a guy, not saying that I enjoy being weak, but everyone knows, it's common sense, being strong is not easy

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  • I can deal with girls who get a little down sometimes, but if she's depressed I wouldn't want to bother!

    Why?

    Because depressed people are impossible to be cheered up, they receive insignificantly little to no pleasure no matter what until they get cured of this condition!

    That means I could try no matter how hard she'd never be happy! And yes I don't wanna go through that!

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  • If you are showing symptoms of clinical depression and she's still into you then eventually you need to tell her that. It's not a first date thing, but you need to be honest with her at some point. Clinical depression make someone not want to get out of bed in the morning and get them to withdraw from the world... They can have suicidal thoughts. She needs to know what she is getting into for one thing and she needs to know this in order to understand your behavior. If you become distant all the sudden and don't pick up your phone for a week she's going to feel ignored. If she knew you were depressed she might come over and make sure you were taking your meds and get you going again... This is not the healthiest relationship but some girls want to change a man, heal the sick, and have a social worker mentality so I guess it is possible.

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