Would you take an online relationship that seriously?

i met this guy online four months ago and we are still talking from time to time and he is a nice guy. I used to like him at first but now I feeling am falling for him... and well, he always says things that I want to hear, he is 33and I am 25 and totally from different continents, But we are from the same country. We want to meet each other in real life somewhere in the near future.. but I don’t know about that. there isn’t a day that passed by without thinking about him and honestly, I'm afraid that I will fall in love with him. but at the same time, I want to. He confides about his everyday problems with me most of the time and he is the type of person who doesn't tell you his personal stuff that easily. I can feel that he easily opened up to me. he all the time tells me that he cares for me. well, maybe as a friend only but sometimes he puzzles me by saying things like ” when I talk to you I feel happy, I miss you ” or ” if you're here we would have gone that or this place, I would do anything for you ” or ” I cannot wait to meet up ” but am not sure about the whole situation, it confuses me that he will want to settle down with someone from a different country ? while we both have our lives and careers in our countries.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I would do my best to try to take a step back and analyze the situation logically. I know you feel now that you have this incredible connection, but what if it's totally different in real life? When you meet someone online, you only know what they choose to show you, and they can be anyone they want to be because, hey, you'll never know differently, right? He may be a completely different person offline. Even when you meet someone the old-fashioned way, in person at first vs. online first, it takes awhile to learn who they really are, because at first they'll try to impress you. Imagine how magnified that is online? They can be anyone they want to be, especially if they live in a different country. I would think that it would not be wise to meet this man in person. He may not be at all what he says and, in fact, he may even be dangerous. I realize it is hard now, but I promise it will be easier eventually and you will meet someone.

    Because, even if he is who he says he is, what would happen if you fell for each other? Would either of you just be willing to give up everything, your family and friends and jobs and entire LIVES? I would try to distance myself from him. I honestly can't see it ending well. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose. :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • I know this will be easy for me to say, but I hope you'll consider my advice. You need to slow down your emotions and look at this as logically as possible. Right now, you're caught up in the novelty of meeting someone new and learning about him. You feel like you connect at all levels, there is an unspeakable bond and connection unlike you have ever experienced. This indeed may be the case and it may not. Sometimes, when we talk to someone online we develop an 'idea' of what the person is like in RL and it may be the furthermost thing from the truth. It's a challenge to get to know someone without some type of interaction in RL, touching, smelling etc. We hope the person we talk to each day is truly who the person says he/she is in RL.

    I share this with you because the same thing happened to me. I know this person will never ever see me in that light and the likelihood of meeting is nil. Therefore, I just decided to enjoy the friendship and the happiness it brings me. Your case may be different entirely. I just think you need to slow things down, focus on maintaining a solid friendship, truly get to know him, try to talk on the phone or skype and let things evolve naturally. Sometimes, our hearts overpower our minds and it leads to letdown and pain.

    • thx a lot for your advice, and you are absolutely right :)

  • From experience with online relationships, they don't always work out the way you think they would. Usually you get so involved talking to them all the time thinking they are perfect and end up making-up your own fantasy about a relationship with the person. how it will be. It is very different to meet someone in person. You see their habits and body language which tells a lot. And if he's 33 why does he have to meet up with you in the future.. he should be able to buy a plane ticket.