So I went on a first date with a guy today and we kissed a few times. he tried for tongue a few times but after telling him twice he stopped because it was making me uncomfortable. I'm just really inexperienced and want to take things slow. Thing is I worry if he just wants the physical stuff. He only wanted to really talk when we were around other people, as soon as we were alone again he would get a lot closer. Once later in the date he pretty much pounced as soon as we were alone again. I feel like we were moving a bit fast for not really knowing much about each other for the date and want to slow down as we get to know each other. Is bringing up the topic next time we hang out by saying I want to take things a bit slower so we can get to know each other, that way we can have a relationship that is not just about the physical. is that an OK way to put it? I don't want to offend him but I am trying to be as honest as I can be.
Most Helpful Guy
At times he IS going to be driven totally by hormones. That's life for under ... I dunno, under 50 men. But especially under 30.
The fact that he desperately wants you physically is NORMAL. What you need to be asking is:
- does he show interest in you in other ways? It seems like yes - you go out together, you talk then. The 'issue' is that if he's alone with you, his desire to be physical overwhelms.
- can you two find a path towards being compatible that's slow enough for you and quick enough for him?
Its fine and good to want a relationship that's not just about the physical, but realize that he wants a relationship that's not just about the emotional/intellectual. Some guys only want the physical part, but those who WANT relationships would still put them almost equal in priority.0