Hookup dilemna

Since I've started college I've enjoyed going out and experiencing the party scene. However, it seems to be the norm for my friends and I to find someone we're interested in and then have a minor smooch session on the dance floor. It was a lot of fun at first, (and still is), but now I feel as if I do it too often. Most of them have turned into little flings where we went on dates, but there have been some where the next morning I just wondered, "What was I thinking?"

I know it's because I'm not taking out the necessary time to get to know someone better before I hook up, but I feel like if I'm interested in a guy who's interested in me, and I pull away when he tries to kiss me, he's going to think I shot him down and give up. How do I solve this so I can still go out without feeling the pressure to makeout so much!

Updates:
Thanks a lot for the help guys!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you feel guilty by your actions then who cares if he gets his feelings a little hurt. A guy who is worth it will wait until you are ready. I would suggest trying to make it a little more difficult for him to make a move. Distance your faces. When he is staring at you trying to figure out if it is okay to kiss you or not just slightly glance away. Eye contact is a big sign in body language. If he goes for it and do reject him. Just say sorry, I'm not that kind of girl. If he is a respectable guy he will understand and continue to hang out with you. If he gets fed up then you really don't want to involve yourself with that kind of guy anyways.

    I hope this helps. Good luck! Just remember to be true to yourself. If you feel cheap by your makeout sessions then change it!

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What Guys Said 3

  • Do the classical pickup at the first meeting always - that is to exchange names and numbers only and no exchange of saliva! It is as simple and obvious as that.

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  • Think about STDS. And how you can get them.

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  • find the guy that has been eyeing you the whole time with a smile. He might be better mannered.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Well the party scene is normally where you find one night stands not life time commitment (not saying it can't happen).

    If a you're afraid a guy will refuse to be with you if you don't kiss him that is false if does then he wasn't worth your time. If the guy is interested in you and likes you he should be able to realise not to take it personally and to take things slower until you're comfortable.

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  • Just be honest. There are a lot of guys who I'm sure really don't care about your feelings in that party scene anyway. They're just wanting to find a makeout or f*** buddy anyway. So if you reject them, they'll be off to find another girl right away. So don't feel bad. Just weed out the ones you don't want, and the ones you're interested in go for. But just be safe. And may I suggest getting to know them a little better before you wake up the next morning and go "What the heck?" (From personal experience myself here).

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  • The pressure is only your own perception. in fact, the guy who only pays attention to you because you make out with them or show serious sincerity in doing so is someone you will regret waking up to the morning after.

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  • Just say no. Its your body, you're in control so do what you want. If you don't wanna hook up so early tell him so. If he gives up then he wasnt worth it anyway

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  • Your pretty pathetic..

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