I feel conflicted about dating. Sometimes I'm very lonely other times I hate to be around women.?

I've not dated anyone now for about 12 years. Every relationship I've had, has ended horrible. The last girl I was seeing ditched me on my birthday to sleep with another guy and the girl shortly after that that I went on one date with left me at the restaurant after I passed out due to an illness I contracted that day. I probably shouldn't have gone out feeling like I did but she begged me to.

When I'm alone I do nothing but want a girl around. Someone around to talk to or go do something with. Just to spend my time with when I'm not working.

When I'm with a girl all I see is someone that will leave me with things get hard. A person that isn't interested in how I feel. That at the most critical moment will flake out and leave. Only to bad mouth you to your friends.

I don't even try to meet new girls now. They way the act just makes me upset. I have some female friends but most of them are busy with their boyfriends. They've ditched most of all their old friends.

It makes me angry because like now when I'm alone I'd like to be around a girl like all my friends are doing right now. I'd like someone to sit here and watch tv or go for a walk or ride motorcycles with me.

But I know if I find some girl to be around she's going to do nothing but at the most critical moment I need her walk out. That she'd be weak and inconsiderate. She would cause more problems than she'd fix.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Higurb

    You're 28! That's a lot of bad feelings; most of your adult life. People listening to you hear whining, you have anger and negative beliefs with respect to dating and I don't see a goal that you think is possible.

    I wonder if you feel conflicted with part of you wanting something but with feelings and beliefs getting in the way?

    How would it feel if your goal was clearer?

    Are there patterns you notice that you'd like to change? How would that help?

    Do you have all you need to work through this? Do articles, books or friends help?

    If you're serious about wanting something different to what's happening now, you're welcome to contact me and have a free 30 minute introductory session.

    Kind regards,

    Brian Birch

    Dating and Relationship Coach For Men

    Tel +44 7703 176167

    info@birchpath.com

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What Girls Said 4

  • Everything you feel about women is exactly what is written all over your face every time you walk out the door. If you "just know" that a woman will make your life miserable and leave you, then every single woman you meet will pick up on that vibe from you. If you change your attitude and start believe you're the kind of person that deserves a real relationship and that you're not going to get hurt then it will work out better for you.

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  • Honey!

    If you wake up every day thinking girls are gonna make your life miserable then you'll NEVER stop believing it!

    My suggestion is to be more positive about yourself.

    Everyone's got a past, but it's over with.

    Live for NOW.

    Focus on NOW, not on what happened before. It's energy that you don't need to waste.

    Sometimes the greatest things happen when we don't expect them.

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  • maybe try a different type of girl

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  • Borderline Personality Disorder? Maybe you should see a psychologist and make sure you don't have it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Can you whine any louder? In your whole story, I read references to everything that girls are doing wrong to you but nothing about what you're doing wrong.

    There's a saying that states, "you are exactly where you deserve to be in life." Every decision, action and inaction has led you to where you are now. If you want your life to change then you're going to have to do it yourself. No-one is going to hand it to you. You can start by giving up the whining and accepting that your attitude is probably the problem.

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  • I suppose I would feel like you but I've had at least two women I've been with who have, while done allot of things, never made me feel like I wasn't their top priority.

    Stop dating around, your meeting the wrong women. Start looking around you for the ones you've been ignoring.

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  • Easy answer to that. You just gotta find the right girl! :)

    You have had some bad luck so you are due for a change. Maybe try a more positive attitude, your attitude and mannerisms etc may be putting girls off. Try to be a little more optimistic its easy to find people to spend time with, you just need someone with similiar interests and who is looking for the same thing you are... gotta be lots of people out there like that!

    Take a leap of faith and start meeting girls and dating again - you are due some good luck! it may just be around the corner but if you don't put yourself out there you will never know!

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