Is it a good or bad sign when a guy stops taking the girl he's dating out on real dates?

So I dated someone for a couple of weeks and it didn’t end up working out. We started to see each other again a couple weeks ago, after a month of not dating. The first time around he’d plan dates all of the time, but since we started to hang out again we haven’t gone on a single date. We hang out, but just watching movies at home, going out with each others' friends, or late night after we’re done doing our thing (we haven’t had sex yet). I would like to go on dates, but haven’t mentioned it yet because I’d like to know why he stopped instigating them. Is it because he’s gotten more comfortable with me so no longer feels dates are necessary as a way to get to know me or could it be because he doesn’t see us going anywhere so doesn’t want to waste energy and money on dates?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe dates just aren't his style right now. I don't really go on dates with my girl, but some days I may just feel like doing something more formal- and it's really not about trying to prove anything to her or thinking that [ more fancy=better quality time at getting to know her ]. When you know someone already, sometimes you do feel like doing something formal and showy, however most of the time many people don't.

    -For instance, has your attire gotten more casual around him as you've gotten to know him? E.g., does he see more of you in pajamas or those furry boots girls wear or with your hair not primped, etc..? Women themselves are often clueless to how much they contribute towards a relationship settling in to informal hang-out territory. Heck, some women just have an informal style throughout the together time; then they get all bent out of shape when the dude doesn't feel like dressing up and going out after having seen her walk around looking like a platonic, un-fem the whole day. You need to make sure your hair is done, that you're smelling good, that your a feminine, sexy *woman* throughout the casual parts of the day he sees you if you expect him to be interested in sprucing it up later on that night. I know I'm gonna be damned to get all dressed up for some slacking chick who thinks we're running on her time.

    • I'm not saying I need a fancy date, something low key like bowling or drinks at the neigborhood bar is totally fine. I'm OK with the way things are as long as I know that the lack of dates has nothing to do with a belief on his part that this isn't going anywhere, since he was the one who ended it the first time.

      As for my attire, any time we hang out I do my hair, make-up, and dress well. It's something I do throughout any relationship I've ever been in (although casual has it's place).


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What Guys Said 2

  • just plan and pay for the whole date with him. Problem solved.

  • He's jumped the line. Just tell him you want him to ask you out on a formal date.


What Girls Said 1

  • Just a little side story to relate...This same thing happened to me, where the guy and I dated for about a month, then got settled into a more comfortable routine. We were in a relationship immediately thereafter for a few months, because we became so comfortable so soon.

    ...he got too controlling so I dumped him. These is now a restraining order against him. Ha!

    Not to freak you out... : P. In all seriousness, though, if you want to still go on dates and not settle into a comfortable routine yet, then don't. If he didn't see things going anywhere, I doubt he would still hang out with you. Maybe try planning a date yourself and see how it goes?

    • Yeah, eventually all dating relationships settle into a more comfortable routine. I guess I'm just concerned since he's the one who ended it the first time so a date here and there would give me more reassurance that he was interested in making an effort for me. But you made a good point, if a he isn't interested and doesn't see us going anywhere, especially if he's not getting or pushing for sex, than he wouldn't continue to hang out with me.