How to avoid ruining a potential love match?

So I met this girl who I really feel I can connect with. I come from a difficult background and so does she, and we're both above average intelligence and it's such a relief to be able to talk to someone without dumbing ourselves down.

Only problem is (and I say this confidently because it's happened before) I can see her growing obsessed with me.. no one's ever made her feel like this before and she's like giving up other aspects of her life to focus exclusively on spending time with me.

Ask if you need more details, I'm desperate for a solution. How can I dial down her view of me without seeming like a jerk/taking away the good things she liked about me in the first place? I know I'm being somewhat selfish and the true solution would be to end it and let her try and figure it out on her own.. but I have doubts that would end well for her, and I can't bear to do that to such a wonderful girl.

We're both in counseling for our emotional unhealthiness. I want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and found something *they* could do to help the one they care for.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell her that you need her to have more of her own life so both of you can share from a place of equality. Let her know you dig her, but to focus on herself more.

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What Girls Said 1

  • How deep is your attachment?

    "..no one's ever made her feel like this before..."

    How does she make you feel?

    Why do you want her to dial down her view on you? Kinda confused about that part. Are you scared of letting her down?

    Just don't say anything you don't mean..If you feel the same way or not...just be honest with yourself. She is a smart girl, she will probably pick up on the vibes and slow down..rushing into things aren't always a good idea anyways.

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    • Good answer. :) I was just having a bit of a freak-out night at the time, it actually progressed similar to the way you outlined.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

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