Am I in the wrong or is he or both?

So I'll try to make this story short. I met this guy back in mid June-early July. We have been dating since then (about five months now) Things developed pretty fast between us. At first I wasn't sure what I wanted or what I was looking for exactly, but in the beginning when he asked what I was looking for I said someone to date, and see where it goes. Which puts it pretty simple. At the time I had no intent of getting really serious because I was planning on joining the Armed Forces. But I was still unsure of that as well. Anyway we started dating and at first I was intrigued by him but wasn't sure if we were compatible enough for each other. But I really enjoyed his company. Things seemed to develop pretty qucikly on his end and he was talking about making it a relationship and that there was no point in dating if it doesn't lead to something more. I agreed which is what I truly felt deep down inside and began to see things from a different light and developed deeper feelings for him. For a while I kept holding myself back from him because I was set on pursuing my career and didn't want to get hurt again. But he seemed adament about preoving to me that he was worth it and that there was something special between us. I felt the same way and began to let my guard down. We became closer but then I found myself becoming more inclined to him and feeling jealous of his female friends and wondering what was going on between them which he said some suspicious things in the beginning. Also that he seemed to have some unresolved feelings towards his ex. Anyway well fast forward to now, and we seem disconnected. It seems we are always up and down and constantly fighting. I will admit that most of it is petty stuff but he seems to not want to make a commitment fully even though he says we are in a relationship I feel he is having second thoughts but refuses to break up. When I asked him if he wanted to do he took offense to it. So I don't know what he wants, but it seems that he doesn't want to break up and that he wants me to stay here go to college and be with him, but then recently I found all these text messages on his phone from a few months back and he was confiding in his female friend that he was devastated to find that his ex was engaged and that he was only going to date call girls from then on. I didn't know what to think of this since he told me we are together. Also he's been texting this female friend a lot and has been making plans to hang out and hasn't told me about it. I hung out with her a couple times but she seemed mad at him for some reason and was bothered by me being there. He's told me countless times that he sees her like a sister but I don't know what to believe and whether he's into me, his female friend, or he's still not over his ex? Either way I confronted him and all he could say was that wasn't the case and that he does want to be with me. But I just don't know why he would say or do all those things?


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he's upset that his ex is engaged, he's not over her. I give him the benefit of the doubt if he says this female friend is in fact just a friend, though I do wonder if he ever mentioned her before. I'm single, but I do have a couple of female friends to whom I would tell just about anything.

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