The girl you're in love with and can't have, and the girl you can have who you don't love

Have you ever been in a situation of having to choose which to pursue?

There's this girl who I swear is my soul mate - we're so compatible on so many levels, and we have such good chemistry. We have all the same interests and hobbies and philosophies and values. And I know she is/was interested. The only problem is that she has a boyfriend and shows no signs of leaving him. She used to hide him from me and always seems confused about what she wants. But damn, if it weren't for him...

On the other hand I've met this other girl, who's cute, but we're very different people. I'm interested, but I don't really know what to make of her, and at the same time I always find myself wanting the first girl, but I know I'll never get her.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? Do you risk waiting it out for the one who's taken, and miss out on the other? Or do you take a shot with the girl you're not as compatible with, potentially missing out on the girl you really truly wanted?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ive been there actually. There was this one girl who was just like perfect for me... or at least she felt perfect for me. Our personalities were like perfectly compatible and I was like truly happy talking to her. Like I really wanted to be with her but I couldnt. On the other hand I had this absolutely perfect looking girl after me. She was really pretty and I told her once so she knew it and she was nice and all and I mean she was a good friend to me but I really just didn't like her in that way. Like maybe I had a crush on her a while back but as we became friends over time I just thought to myself ehh you just really don't like her and the only reason your considering this is because she just is that pretty, In the end I ended up being with no one or at least for now. I can't be with the one I loved and I now I know that I can't for sure, so that came crashing down on me and as for the other girl, I like seriously thought about it one day in my car for like an hour lol. I was like well I like this other random stranger girl more then her who is not as pretty (not the girl I loved just someone I wanted to talk to and get to know once I knew that other girl wasn't gonna work out)then her and I don't want to hurt her or hurt myself by going out with her and not loving her when some other guy might and me not being truly happy. Its like I would just be content but not happy. So I decided against being with her but its so damn hard to say no sometimes. So I don't know what to do since I didn't figure it out very well myself. I still think about the girl I love but I try not to put too much thought into it anymore and I just talk to any girl now and maybe Ill just end up being happy and liking one of them more.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • If you can't have her, you can't have her. Forget her.

    Girl 2, decide separately whether you want to take a shot with her or not.

    There is no 'Or' here. Girl 1 is not happening. Girl 2 is a yes/no.

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  • Move on and stop wasting your time waiting. If she can be with someone else, you'd be unfair to yourself to pass another girl up who's just as great or even better. So what if you're very different? Differences can make things a lot more interesting. Besides, most people don't find themselves with their exact match(soulmate).

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  • Waiting is a gamble, when you gamble there's no guarantee of a return. "She has a boyfriend and shows no signs of leaving him, that says a lot. If you think she's worth the wait I would say go for it, if you think she'll be yours. But, if she doesn't come around you could regret waiting and miss out on a girl that really digs you.

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