I was raped, should I tell the guy I'm dating?

I've been seeing this guy now since mid November, we aren't exclusive yet, but I see it getting serious. A few weeks back I was raped. Should I tell him I was raped or Should I just wait and see where this goes and tell him if we get serious? Should I tell him no matter where it goes with him?

Updates:
So we're exclusive now, and I did tell him about the rape. Everything went well, in fact he told me he loves me. Thank you everyone for helping me with this.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so sorry to hear that ]=. In all honesty though, I would wait until you know that things are serious. Guys can be strange sometimes, and that might scare them off? Maybe it wouldn't but guys don't always know how to react to such severe situations, you know what I mean? When you guys do get serious, you'll be able to be sure that he really does care and since you guys will be more attached to each other it might be easier for him to understand and react to.

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    • That's what I've been thinking this whole time, but I've had so many people as you can tell from here, saying that I need to tell him. I have all intentions of telling him, just not until I know what direction our relationship is going in.

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    • Yeah I do believe I am too. Just today he pretty much told me that he can see us going to the next level. So being serious with him, isn't to far away I believe.

    • I told a guy I was dating that I was raped recently, and because of that I wanted to take it slow and get tested again before going farther. problem is, I told him right when we were about to get intimate. bad timing. it definitely scared him off (no calls since), but now I'm starting to think he might consider me a tease or even a lier. should I try to talk to him about it or drop the "relationship" all together?

What Guys Said 4

  • you should tell the police first and get that asshat put away. then you shold tell your "boyfriend" and tell him that you'r going to need his support through this. sorry to hear that happened to you.

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  • Have you told your parents? Have you contacted the police? Those are the more important questions to ask.

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    • I don't entirely have the best relationship with my parents, so no I haven't told them. As far as the police go, I didn't want them involved because I want this behind me as soon as possible. But there was someone I could confide in who took me to a clinic and everything to get checked out.

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    • Oh ok. I just know that a huge majority of girls that get raped are a lot more sexually active, and it just totally makes them different sexually and mentally.

    • Yeah I'm not like that lol. I have good self control.

  • Yes, tell him. You feel you need to confide in somebody and if he's not going to be there for you, then forget about him and find somebody who really cares.

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  • just tell him and if he likes you he will stay with u

    and if he leave you then that's he's loss

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What Girls Said 4

  • if it happened when you were with him I think you sshould tell him

    because if you wait to get serious and tell him then he might never trus you again

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  • You most certainly should!

    What's with couples these days?

    I tell my boyfriend everything there is.

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  • okay you need to tel the cops parents before your boyfirend. BUT HE NEEDS TO KNOW

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  • Does your Boyfriend know the guy who did it?

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    • No, it was a complete stranger.

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