I bought my love interest a plane ticket and then he changed his mind?

My guy friend and I are both 18. I'm a freshman in college and he's a senior in high school. We started dating at the end of last year--he pursued me and when we split due to problems he was the one who wanted to get back together again. We've been involved for almost a year, and a lot of our drama is due to his fickleness.

He gets into these moods where he is apathetic and also churns out some crazy ideas on monogamy, like that he shouldn't even *kiss* someone if he doesn't think it is a super serious relationship. I am really conservative, and even I think that's crazy.

Just a couple of days ago he told me he liked me and he has been really sweet to me lately. His parents agreed to let him come visit me for Christmas so I bought his plane ticket as a little present to both of us ($900). I am so excited to see him as we had been planning a lot of activities and also private time together.

Then, just today he told me he doesn't think anything physical can happen. I am so pissed off and upset. He was just trying to say all of this stuff to me and then go to bed, while it would leave me to be upset the next day. I told him I am fine with not being very physical but that I just want to kiss him since I haven't seen him in 6 months.

He kept saying things like "kissing means something, and I don't think there is something", "this is childish lust", "physical ruins everything", and on and on.

He also said "this isn't about you, this isn't about us, this is about me and the way I want to live my life, both for now and for the future", but then kept implying he doesn't see himself going anywhere with this.

I have no idea what to do. It's in his personality to change his mind in the next couple of weeks and we'll probably end up kissing when he visits anyway.

He still says he wants to visit me and that we can enjoy our time as friends. If I insisted I am sure he would pay me back for the ticket but it's not just about the money. When I bought the ticket he agreed that we would be doing physical things.

What can I say to him? Is there anyway I can get more control over this situation?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yuck. Stop investing the time and energy in him - in Mr Morose. He's not into you - at ALL. Cash in the ticket.

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