Can someone give me advice on trust issues I am having?

I am having major problems trusting this guy I have been dating for nearly a month. I just recently had sex with him this past weekend. I am constantly worrying that he is a "player" so to speak. But the thing is we spent nearly a whole day together just hanging out at his place he cooked for me and we even made a Strawberry Short cake together. And its not like we had sex all day. We played video games and watched movies and went online just looking at videos.

He told me that he had been married some years ago and that he divorced her because of how she changed after they got married. He was very nice to me and actually wanted me to stay longer when I told him I would have to leave.

So why do I still feel like he's possibly playing me and just wants me for sex, does it seem like he is only after sex?

I'm just really cautious as I have had bad experiences with men and I just want to be careful.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes the suspense of not knowing if he's a player or not will make our minds restless.. But take it from someone who has a girlfriend that asks these "validating-security" questions - "Shut up".

    Let's face it, you guys are having a lot of fun and he's sharing time with you. Nothing else needs to be said - it sounds like you are doing everything right. Just continue to be you, you have no reason to worry and it sounds best that you force yourself to "Shut up" in regards to worrying.. Enjoy the time you guys have together, it's not the last, but it's a hell of a lot easier than paying attention to the bad stuff.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • Yeah, you're right. I do need to shut the hell up. That's all I've been doing is worrying and wondering. He really is a great guy. He calls/text me every day and really does have a genuine interest in me. I'm being just like one of the women I hope to never become...COMPLICATED! Thanks for your advice it really did open my eyes to what I'm doing. :)

What Guys Said 4

  • Well if yu are so unsure then y did yu had sex in the first place

    Secondly a playa would never work so hard he is surely into yu and if this relation fails it would be because of year insecurities so stop acting like a bitch and b a girlfriend who trusts the guy with her life

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    • Cause I'm crazy attracted to him. I didn't want to but I couldn't help it we have so much chemistry its crazy.

    • Babe chill

      he is into yu for sure relaxxxxx

  • trust your gut feelings

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  • Sounds like a nice guy to me, I doubt he would play you if he's divorced, usually they want a relationship.

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  • After a month you guys had only sex once. But you were cooking together, playing games together etc...And he has been married before.

    He doesn't fit the profile of a player at all. I think you have to keep yourself in check because you could ruin something great because of your own insecurities and trust issues. From what you described I don't see what that guy has done to even warrant being thought of as a player. Very unfair to him.

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    • Yeah you're right. I think I'm going to just shut my mouth and just go with the flow of things. I really do like him. I just want it to work with us. But like you said my own insecurities will be the ultimate downfall of our relationship if I don't get it in check. Thanks for the advice. :)

    • Good, go enjoy life now

What Girls Said 2

  • I've been through the same situation and the best way to deal with it is to be honest with how you feel. If he starts coming on to you and you feel uncomfortable or know you'll feel guilty later, tell him to wait. The worst thing you can do to yourself is have sex for HIM and not because you really want to. A guy who is really into you will wait and show that you can trust him. But don't force him to constantly prove himself to you as it will become tiresome. Just see how things go. However, if it has been awhile and you still don't trust him, perhaps you should not be in a relationship and just work on yourself and do what you have to do.

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  • As Patti Stanger says, "Divorced men are the best kept secret." They have a history of wanting to be committed and loyal, but now they're single. Always be aware of possible red flags, but divorced men are probably looking for one special lady.

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