Is it a bad idea to try to get with (date) my ex's best friend?

OK so I broke up with my cheating boyfriend almost a month ago but ever since then he's been trying to convince me to get back with him...not gonna happen. My question is: Is it a bad idea to try and get with his best friend? I like his best friend and he likes me. My ex is going to be pissed but he has a girlfriend and besides we're not together.

What do you think?

Have any insight for something like this?

& Do you think my ex will ever get over it, if I did end up dating his friend?

  • Yes
    73% (90)75% (41)73% (131)Vote
  • No
    27% (34)25% (14)27% (48)Vote
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Updates:
To clear somethings up, I'm taking to my ex's bff >> his bff is not bff's with my ex...basicly

my ex and his friend hav completely different personalities >> my ex=totally player, been with lots of girls, cheated on all of them (found this out later), lazy and selffish and has almost no friends; his friend >> super sweet, only been with 2 girls, kinda shy but hard working, and has kool friends

Also for people that think I'm trying to get over my ex...i liked his friend when we first started dateing

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Go for it! your ex boyfriend cheated on you, you are not his anymore, it's good you've moved forward, and if you two like each other and are happy with each other, why not? everyone has the right to be happy, I know about the rule about your friend's exes but I think it can be stupid sometimes, are you gonna miss the opportunity to be with someone you want, are you gonna miss the opportunty to be happy again? just because you had something with his best friend that did not work? are you gonna let your ex boyfriend have any influence in this? because he doesn't have any right, maybe you mess up their friendship, that's true, but that's not really your problem, I mean if they are really that good friends then nothing should affect their friendship, well at the end is you that need to decide :) I just hope this helped x

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What Guys Said 10

  • risky ground. you'd be linked to your ex and have to see more of him, the new guy would be worried that you were comparing him (badly) with his best friend and chances are they'd share notes on you. if he is happy to date his best mates ex so quickly, he's got no sense of responsibilty to his friends. if you are determined to date him at least leave it for a while - its been less than a month and people will start questioning whether anything had gone on beforehand.

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    • True, I didn't think of that but the truth is I never did anything with him, it was always jus a friendship before now

  • I picked B,because there are many factors,so I say go for it and remember it's his best friend who is okay with it,so really it's not on you and more on the best friend.

    Good luck,because you are kind of walking on land mines,but if you think it's worth it keep going

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  • IDK: she might know more about you than you expect/want. That could be in your favor or it could play against you.

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    • Doubt it, she doesn't even know he's cheated on her already lol

  • I said yes because it means you will still be linked in with your ex.

    But if you don't mind that, then - go ahead.

    See if I care, etc.

    One star. Not because it's "miserable" but it's a miserable idea.

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  • use your gut feeling

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  • it depends on your situation.

    should have added a "depends" option.

    i voted no tho.

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  • wow. a lot of spiteful revenge seeking girls said yes. But honestly I say no unless you have feelings for this guy otherwise it's just immature.

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    • Yeah...they say YES, it IS a bad idea...

    • I really do lik him, that's kind of a low blow to get with him jus to be revengeful lol

  • Your ex had his chance and he screwed it up. Getting together with his friends is a bad idea, but if he's sincere and willing to risk the friendship you might as well go for it. Don't seem like they're best friends since they're clearly not bro's tho... Or they could be the best bros ever and the friend is just getting close you to dump you.

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  • Bad idea. Ruins the relationship of those two guys, and IF you two break up, there's gonna be a lot of sh*t talking.

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  • It would be bad bro etiquette of his friend to date you. Very bad.

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    • yea I've heard that before but trust me, my ex has NO 'bro etiquette'; honestly I don't know y his friend even stays friends with him

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    • i kno he's talking about my ex's friend but my ex has never had any respect for his friend, so why should his friend hav it for him

    • Sounds like you're going to do what you're gonna do despite recommendations to do otherwise.

What Girls Said 24

  • its simple

    he treated you bad and didn't appreciate you = you owe him nothing

    AND on top of all that he has moved on.

    and you're still wondering if you should do this?

    his best friend could end up being the love of your life for all you know.

    go for it. you owe this selfish guy nothing.

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  • if you're not ganna have anything to do with your ex boyfriend then go ahead and date his friend. if they are really good friends then it would probably mess up their friendship especially if he wants you back. It depends. is the hope of the happiness that might come to be between you and his bff worth destroying their friendship? It's not all on you. The friend would have to decide that as well. He may or may not get over it. You should discuss it with his bff and see what is best for both of you. It would look bad on his part to date his bffs ex...but hey there is also the question of would you miss out on something great because you didn't want to hurt someone who didn't consider your feelings.

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  • Youll get back at him big time.

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  • Bad for him, not you. If you don't give a sh*t what the x thinks or feels go for it. If you want to attempt to hurt x's feelings in the process, do it!

    Maybe ask the guy is he willing to risk a friendship over it.

    I had a fling with an x's cousin...

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  • in your case I don't think it would be a bad idea. if your ex cheated he relinquished any reason to have a say in what you do.

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    • I approve of this answer. I would say go for it. Your ex cheated - you are free to do what you want.

  • I think if they are friends then they have a lot in common so who is to say that this guy will work any better than your ex (although, I doubt he will cheat on you like your ex did). I don't think it is worth the hassle of dating your ex's friend. Most of your relationship will involve having to talk about the ups and downs of your ex.

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  • I don't think you should be concerned with what your ex thinks in this situation cause he dirtbagged you. lol.

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  • i would really stay with from cheating bf's friends. you never know... maybe he told them how easily you trust... how easy it is to dupe u... and then leave. just get a fresh start. don't have anything to do with anyone close to him...

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    • i am presenting the worst case scenario..but such things do happen... they think the girl is vulnerable right now... so they take their chance.

  • There is the bro code, and what makes you think his best friend is any different than your ex boyfriend? They are best friends after all. l wouldn't do it.

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  • Well, if he was cheating on you and you guys broke up, I don't see why you can't get with his best friend (honestly his best friend doesn't sound so great of a friend if he likes you and wants to date you), so I say yeah go for it

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  • no he won't get over it but who cares? its his loss! if his friend is treating you better then stick with him.

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  • Hey girl, I'm all with you on doing this, but I have to ask - why did you ask the question if you're so determined and set against most of your answers? You must have expected the vote to go the way it did - you should just make up your own mind on situations such as these and only ask Q's when you genuinely need direction...

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  • What I find most concerning is the fact that your ex is trying to convince you to get back together with him while he has a girlfriend.

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  • I wouldn't for many reasons, but the main ones are: you will still be connected to the ex; your ex will trash talk you to his friend because he will be jealous; if you stay together, this guy may have to give up his group of friends or chose between you & then. Guys do that kind of thing. Your ex may not feel comfortable hanging with him anymore & the guys may "push" him out. He may get resentful of you for that.

    Just food for thought.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.

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  • I'm pretty sure the rule applies to both genders "Don't mess with a bud's ex". Personally, I wouldn't touch it, it would be impossible to avoid your ex and you may hurt a good friendship, but then again, that is his decision.

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  • It's only been a month so by dating his friend you probably want a rebound that's going to make him feel the pain you had to experience... Sit down and honestly think if you really like the friend or just really want to get back at your ex. If your answer is the former then go ahead but if it's the latter, your ex ain't worth that much effort.

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  • That's a very bad Idea , I wouldn't do that ever.. how would you feel if he had something with your best friend?

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  • well they are soon enough saying that you smash the homies...your reputation will be ruined.

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  • yes.

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  • This is definitely a horrible idea. He is still best friends with your Ex, so there will be talking behind your back. I think it's going to be horrible awkward, and it might make you look bad if you go from one guy to his friend.

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  • you never date a friend of your guy or gal...branch out and know it is uncool...kinda like tryin to like your cousin ...just wrong

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  • Extremely bad idea. You can have to endure some unwanted consequences.

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  • I already voted yes. But if I were in you're position id wait at least 5-6 months before getting with his best friend. It would hurt much less! doing it right away will just hurt him badly and make you hate you. even though he cheated. but you're better than him! don't rush into another relationship fast! take it slow!

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  • No. Why if you're single and your ex cheated on you anyway.

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