How important is money and success?

If you have two suitors and they are both fun and charming in their own ways. One is sucessful and rich and the other is not as successful but very passionate and does what he believes in. Who would you most likely go for.

Also when I mean successful he has a very nice job and a lot of security and savings. While the other guy is not nearly as successful, and your future with him is a lot more uncertain.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The second guy.

    Money isn't important to me. I'm not very materialistic, I don't care about having fancy things. It's more important to me that my partner is happy, passionate about what he does, and stays true to himself. And success can be defined in more than one way.

    The only reasons "money" matters to me has nothing to do with how rich a guy is.

    1. I wouldn't want to date a guy who was lazy or lacked ambition/motivation. I would date a guy who didn't have a job, but if it was because he was a student, or because he lost his job and was looking for a new one---but not a guy who who lost his job and wasn't really trying to find a new one, or a guy who wasn't doing anything with his life and was relying on his parents to support him.

    2. I want equality in a relationship, so I wouldn't want to date a guy who expected me to pay for all the costs of dating (though, if a guy is short on cash, I don't mind going on cheap or free dates); I would never move in with a guy if he wasn't more or less financially stable, because I wouldn't want to get stuck paying all the bills. I don't want to be with someone who is financially dependent on me (just as I would never feel comfortable being financially dependent on someone else).

    3. I would want to be with someone who is financially responsible. Someone who budgets their money, rather than someone who would go out and make an impulse buy, and then be short for rent that month. I wouldn't want to date someone with a gambling addiction. I wouldn't want to date someone who had a lot of "bad" debt (i.e. debt based on poor financial decisions, whereas I'd be okay if someone had, for example, student loan debt, since they're investing in their future). I wouldn't want someone else's irresponsibility with money have a negative effect on me, which has the potential to happen when you're in a serious relationship with someone (i.e. if you're living together or making large purchases together, like a home or a car).

    While all these things might be related to money, what I really care about are: ambition, fairness, independence, responsibility, and stability (not that I need to rely on a guy for stability---I have a good job and am able to take care of myself, but in the sense that I don't want to get screwed over if his financial instability has a negative effect on me; I'd be understanding if he lost his job and I had to pick up some slack, but not if his financial instability had to do with poor choices on his behalf).

    • This, exactly this. =D I won't even bother with my own answer on this one, because you took the words right out of my head, like you so often do, haha. Sometimes I wonder if we're the same person. ;P

    • Haha. I feel the same way about your answers. High five. :D


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What Girls Said 3

  • I have always been the type of person who follows my passion, and only do what I truly love doing, even if that involves making financial sacrifices. Before I met my boyfriend he worked at a bank earning a pretty good salary, but he didn't love the job so he quit. When he told the bank he was quitting they offered him $80000 a year to stay, he said no, then they offered him $90000. He still walked away because he knew he wouldn't be happy there. When he told me this story my feelings for him grew even stronger.

    • I totally agree. I am still a student but I have noticed that in my degree the easy money is in the oil business and I have many friends pursuing it not because they find it fulfilling but because it pays well. I would never do that, I am making sure to gear my self towards renewable energies as it is what I really have a passion for even if it is not nearly as profitable.

  • I'm not gonna lie and say money doesn't matter. Money has never been my motivation for dating a guy, but it is a nice extra and it helps. If both of them are equal then of course I would go for the successful one.

    I know people are gonna be like "oh your a bitch, your a gold digger" but you know what, whatever. I'm being realistic and intelligent about it. If if things get long term how can we sustain a family when he is unsuccessful and his futures uncertain? That's just common sense. I can't be with a guy whos not going anywhere

  • passionate and nice guy! :D I like a guy t hat does what he believes I and and money ain't everything just like looks ain't everything!


What Guys Said 3

  • Succes isn't directly measured in the amount of money someone owns or someone's career. I think someone is successful if this person reaches his/her goals and gets satisfaction from it. This means that a rich and powerful businessman can be just as successful as a "regular" guy who's happy with even the smallest joys in life.

    I don't think that "real" lovers really care about how successful a person is. I think it's even the imperfect little things that bring people together even more.

  • Regardless of what any of them say. They are going to the guy with money. He provides security and the abilities to raise a family. I mean cmon most divorces end over finances so I highly doubt they want a broke guy with no future.

  • Money and success can increase your chances. But it's not detremental to success with women.

    Good looks and charm is much more important. ;)