Explain what am I missing about getting a date with a girl?

I get that if your friends with a girl for a long time and then you ask her out you get rejected. And if you walk up to a girl you don't know and flirt with her and then ask her out she's going to think you're either a player or desperate.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well a big NO to both instances, especially the last one. It's all situational and in a way a numbers game, especially in western countries where every girl who is even borderline decent looking thinks she should be dating a milionare rockstar

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What Girls Said 14

  • Asking a girl out could potentially be an easy feat, especially if you have mastered your shyness. You need to know how to deal with a situation in which you feel you have ruined your chances with what feels like the girl of your dreams. But don't worry about that because most girls will give you a chance for just trying. But there comes a time when you have to step up and be bold, or forever wonder what if.

    Approach the girl you like. Say "Hi" or "Hey" and ask her a question or give her a compliment. It can be scary, but it's really pretty simple. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke, and break the touch barrier.Help her out. Offer to carry her books, or do something nice for her. If she refuses, then wait until she really needs help or comforting, like when she's feeling down or just got really embarrassed. Be friendly and outgoing, and don't be a pervert or a stalker or you will never get ANY girls.

    Pop the question. "Hey, why don't you come to the movies with me this weekend?" (It doesn't just have to be the movies - it can be anything you're interested in, and that you think she'll enjoy too.)or you could try "what's your favorite ice cream flavor?" then continue the conversation and offer to treat her with some.

    Another good way to ask is "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If she says she thinks it looks good, ask her if shed like to go with you to see it. If she asks "as in a date?" say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves much more than they do the cowardly guy who backs away from it. Make sure to ask her if she wants a snack and buy it for her; it will show that you will take care of her always.

    Don't make it seem like a big deal when you ask either. Another good way of asking is just by saying "I was wondering if you would maybe want to go to a concert this Saturday night. I think it would be fun if we both went together." But it can be something else besides a concert.

    Keep your cool if she says no. Respond gracefully, like "No problem! Maybe another time." and SMILE. Act as if you don't need her, because that will make her want you more. Change the conversation to something else, or if you just want to get out of there, talk for a bit longer, and then pretend you just got a text message from your mom saying you have to get home or call her or something. Don't be harsh about it. If you're too hard, she might feel guilty, as if she was supposed to say yes. And go about your business - As they say, there are other fish in the sea!

    Be independent! Most girls donĀ“t like guys following them everywhere and being every time nice and friendly.

    ... Good luck :) , hope I could help you

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  • No, not in all situations. If you approach a girl and know the right things to say and leaving a good first impression then she's going to give you her number (more than likely). Its all about knowing how to approach a girl and knowing what to say as well as being her type.

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  • I wouldn't mind a stranger asking me out if the flirting was fun and comfortable and didn't go too far. You have to take risks to get dates, sure someone may say no but that is their loss. And don't be bitter if they do, there will be someone else you like. A lot of girls atre sick of hook-ups and wannabe players and would rather go out on a date and get to know someone. A good way is to get a girl's number if you don't really know her that well, be creative with your excuse to get their number and if you ask them out this way it gives you both comfort band space. However if you are meeting up in person, you should muster your confidence and believe the girl is there for a reason- to hang out with you! Good luck :)

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  • not true about the asking your friends out my best friend for 3 years asked me out and we've been together ever since (dating 2yrs and engaged for 5 months) so you never kno

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    • Only average looking women do what you did.

    • That's awesome congrats! :) You two look very cute together. Pff what you say is bull question asker! A lot of good solid relationships start off with a strong friendship base regardless off looks (and you're an attractive couple redhead :))

    • thanks :)

  • She has to be interested in you or attracted. Some guys think there is a certain formula, like if they ask you out you should say yes since they think they did everything right. Maybe you should start talking to more girls and get better at conversation first? I don't know without knowing how you act and come off its hard to give specific advice

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  • Explain what am I missing about getting a date with a girl? That it's a numbers game.

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  • The only thing you are missing is that it is a numbers game. You have to ask out lots of girls to get one date. If you have a ton of female friends and ask them all out then at least one will say yes. If you walk up to a ton of strangers and ask them all out at least one will say yes.

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    • @2confusedgirl... I found myself in a situation where I was asking out lots of gf's I know hoping to get a date from 1 but apparently, a girl got to knw that's what I do by askin every girl out and she called me a player and almost disgraced me to people...how can this be a gud idea?

    • That was the problem, you know all these girls so chances are at least some of them knew each other so of course it would get around that you ask out a lot of girls. You would have to expand your contact with new girls who don't know these others girls.

  • I suggest talking to her for at most 2 weeks, then asking the girl out. If it goes on longer your heading into the "friendzone." For the most part, it is very flattering when a guy flirts and than asks the girl out, some might brush you off to test you, but be persistent (not annoying). My suggestion is to try to show that your not playing, try to strike a conversation that she could go on forever about. At the end of the conversation ask if she has been to a certain activity or resturant, or have seen a movie, then tell her that you two should go sometime.

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    • how do I find the line between annoying and persistent? would you be able to provide a example of each?

  • I think it all comes down to confidence.

    If a guy came up to me who I didn't know and he started chatting me up in a bar or somewhere then I would be flattered.

    You've got to realize however that there is a big chance of this coming across sleazy and also if you're too timid then that's a turn off as well. You've got to be confident in yourself, involve her in a good conversation that explores your similar interests and be witty and funny and I bet you'll get at least one date.

    Dating is all about getting to know someone. Which is why a transition from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend can be so daunting, you already know that person and you know them in a "friendly way". I certainly don't tell guys that I'm just starting to date the same stuff that I tell my best guy friends! And there is always that looming possibility of the dreaded "Friend Zone"!

    Good Luck!

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  • You gotta get to know her first before you just go out and ask her to go on a date with you.(to the girl you flirt with)

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  • You're missing that it's not really about the "friend zone" crap or about walking up to a random girl! You can be friends with her and not get rejected and you can walk up to a random girl and get things going :I she just has to like you, you have to be comfortable with yourself and make her feel comfortable, be genuine and let her know you like her, and just be yourself. - that's all.

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  • You don't necessarily get rejected by a friend, but she MAY wonder what took you so long, OR think you'r just falling for her as a last resort rather than as a result of a real emotional and physical connection.

    Why would a stranger consider you desperate right off the bat (unless you're giving off that desperate vibe)?

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  • Let me tell you something... as long as your confident and cool without being douchey or cocky a girl will go out with you! Nothing is sexier than a man with confidence work on your swagger it will help. Everyone else is right about it being a numbers game too the more you try the more likely someone will go out with you. The more you try the better you get at it as well, remember practice makes perfect...

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  • dating is a numbers game. if you ask out one or two girls or even 9 or 10, you're going to get shot down, absolutely. but if you ask out 100 girls, then your chances of getting a date increases

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    • Also to add that you get better and better at it and so your success rate goes up.

    • I found myself in a situation where I was asking out lots of gf's I know hoping to get a date from 1 but apparently, a girl got to knw that's what I do by askin every girl out and she called me a player and almost disgraced me to people...how can this be a gud idea?

    • Don't let girls know that this is what you are doing. So don't go asking girls out who are all from the same school, work place, gym, etc. Unfortunately, this is the only way guys can do this is asking out lots of girls and then when girls find out they get mad which is dumb since they are probably the same girls who would turn the same guy down for a different reason leaving him to have to ask out another girl. Hypocritical yes, fair no.

What Guys Said 10

  • Everything.

    Not one thing you said shows any knowledge of the reality of dating and women. This site can't help you. If you've got the courage to experiment on women; it's the only way. If you don't then do what ever it takes to get that courage because you're helpless without it.

    Women are not hard to understand. The problem is that most men are cowards. True story.

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    • No the problem is that most women are spoiled bitches and men are tired of competing and trying to match everything on their checklist of the ideal man.

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    • First its possessions then physical appearance and then personalities. The way you know for sure its in that order is just by looking at guys like Hugh Hefner and The Situation.

    • Hugh Hefner is not reality.

      You're problem is you are looking at the situation through your own perceptions. Men will almost never date anyone who is below them on the totem pole. It's out inherent nature. Women are not the same. They may aspire for very similar things but their actions are based much more heavily on their emotions. How they feel. Sure, some women are jaded and exactly what you claim all women to be, but that's a relatively low number of individuals.

  • The secret is not caring what she thinks of you when you approach her. Most girls are going to put yoou down initially, either openly or just mentally, just because they can!

    That's how the dating game works...you have to get past that. I they start liking you they'll stop with that attitude. But you have to endure the initial disdain.

    I decided to drop out of the dating game at a young age because I was fed up with these experiences, but it's the ONLY game for most guys in the USA.

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  • Yes it's a numbers game,but do polish your skill as you go on,so learn from your mistakes and you will get better.Also and I'm not sure about others,but sometimes it feels like my mind guides me away from rejection at times,so I might wanna pick up a girl,but get this unease feeling that I should not so I just go for another women.

    The game is interesting,but is tough at the beginning when you lack experience and you won't always need to pick up women,because as your social circle increase some will come to you.

    Good luck

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  • Let's put it like this - what you said is true, if you have no game. If you have game, you can do whatever.

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  • It really is a numbers game. The guys that go on a lot of dates aren't doing anything special, they're just approaching more girls than everyone else.

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  • not true. if you approach a girl you don't go up to her and flat out be like "hey baby wanna go out" then she would turn you down right quick. but if you go up to her head up and have an interesting conversation with her she will not shut you down.

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    • Very true. my ex wasn't the most attractive of guys, as in if I didn't get talking to him I wouldn't have been attracted to him. when we started talking we got on so well, he became really attractive to me. I think if he had just come up to me I would have just shot him down, its all about being able to have a chilled out conversation with a girl. :) hope this helps xxx

    • yea maybe you could help him with some topics to talk about with a girl lol.

  • Confidence, smile, sweet and interesting personality. I can't remember the last time I got rejected for a date.

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  • lol so it seems that the one thing I've learned from this is even though girls like to be treated special as if theyre the only girl in the world for you, they also are OK if you ask out 100 girls before them (coz 'it's a numbers game') Hmmmm seems a bit contradictory.

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    • It's just us practical ones with a good head on our shoulder that know a guy has to ask out a ton of girls before he finds one that will say yes. We are few and far between. We are also usually the ones who are not afraid to ask a guy out too.

  • It's a 7%-10% success rate. So ask 15 girls out, 1 will probably go on a date with you.

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  • well,

    keep trying this is how it going

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