Becoming desperate, looking into Online Dating?

They say in statistics like...6 out of 10 relationships start from online dating now days. Thing is, I have no luck going out and meeting people. I never get approached, I guess online dating is easier cause its just a click away rather than taking time out of the person's day in the public. I'm starting to look at this option of online searching instead. It sucks... kind of in my opinion but I've been single for 6 years now. I've kind of lost my mojo? Anyone else looking into online dating? I'm not embarrassed to admit either.. Lmao

  • Online Dating Easier?
    52% (11)50% (7)51% (18)Vote
  • Asking Person out in Public better?
    48% (10)50% (7)49% (17)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think online dating is easier. I never get approached by guys, so I find it easier to go online. I send out messages to those I am interested in and start talking to the guys I get a response from. For me it has worked well. I am currently with an amazing guy. Sure, it can take effort if you are looking for long term, but I find it a better option. The bar scene is not for me, and most of the guys that are out there don't really pay me much attention. I find that getting to know someone a little better by talking with them online helps to break down the borders a little. I eventually meet the person after talking online for a while.

    I find that with online dating, it's easier to screen people. You can see whether they have the same interests and if their personality is something you are interested in. I don't think it's the last resort, I just think its a useful tool to help you get to meet more people. Would you honestly have the time to meet the same amount of people in person that are on an online dating site? Probably not. But I think to be most effective, try to meet people both online and offline in real life. That way you are going to see better and faster results :)

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    • It sucks for me at the moment. I went out and contacted like 15 girls. Not 1 replied ... its demoralizing. lol

    • Yea it sucks I had to wait a while for responses too, and sometimes you start talking to someone and they just lose interest. But that is just part of online dating. I wouldn't give up right away. It can take a while to find someone depending on what you are looking for. But if it's what you really want its worth the search :D

What Girls Said 12

  • For a guy, online dating might be harder. Why? Because girls are pickier. When I made a new profile, I was instantly bombarded with messages. But I only replied to very few. Online, men outnumber women. And since women are constantly getting messaged, we feel like we're at a buffet. The first thing we'll look at is your picture. If she finds you attractive, she'll respond. Based on your photo, I think you're an attractive guy so you'll have little problem with getting girls to reply to you. You may even get messaged.

    You should be fine in the looks dept., but here are some Do's and Don't's when it comes to photos:

    Do: Make sure your face is visible in your photo; Make sure your photos do not have any of your friends in them, male or female.

    Don't: Put up any shirtless pics. Some people may disagree with this one, but this is my preference. Why? Because if you have shirtless pics of yourself, I'm sure you're getting messaged left and right by girls. That alone would turn me off even if you were to message me first. If you're just looking for mindless hookups, go for it. But if you're looking for something meaningful, make sure you've got a shirt on.

    Now if you message a girl, make sure it's more than a word long. I ignore messages that just say "Hi". A simple "Hey, how's it going?" is not great and sometimes I ignore it. But the guy I've been seeing, who I met online, messaged me saying that. He's a great guy, so I no longer ignore messages with just that phrase. The best messages are those that showed me you took the time to read my profile and comment on it. Ask questions about me so that I know you're interested in finding out more about me.

    Not sure if I covered everything, but I also gave online dating advice to someone else recently. Check here to see what I wrote: link

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  • Do you try and approach girls? If I'm basing myself off your picture alone, I don't see why a girl would say no to a date with you. What have you tried? I mean really, there's nothing wrong with online dating. Plenty of people do it. It's just not for everyone. I personally, still hold onto the idea that my prince charming is out there and I won't need to go to any measures such as online dating for it to happen. Maybe a little naive... But oh well. Haha.

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    • i actually don't know how to approach girls in public really... I'm kind of uh... clueless on how to just openly flirt with hem. talking yeah it happens... but I don't know what to talk about. I'm like...a body with a soul with no brain of words to string along to talk with a girl lol. it sucks...

  • i met my boyfriend online, and we have been together over 2 years, so it worked for me! I didn't go into it expecting anything though, and I think that made a big difference

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    • well hoepfully I'll meet someone... after 6 years is over to 7. ha ha but that's great. its just hard to find a girl online cause for every one girl there's like 23 guys.

  • sorry this isn't answering your question but...how could no girl approach you, you seem like a pretty handsome guy hahaha

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    • haha, thank you. its just no girl has every approached me to ask me out. I mean. no one...

      its depressing. especially when people tell you you're handsome and then nothing ever happens!... ha ha but I do thank you for your compliment. gives me some spark of hope =D

  • I don't think online dating should be seen as such a last resort, it's actually a pretty practical way of meeting people if you're proactive about it. Especially when some sites (OkCupid in particular) have ways of setting you up with people you're compatible with.

    I met my current boyfriend online and we've been together for almost two years :) It's the best relationship I've ever been in.

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  • I am not a fan of online dating, but its true that a lot people foudn each other this way.

    and if that's really you on your avatar, then I think you could have any girl you want , you just have to make the first step, cause maybe the girls are intimidated?

    good luck :)

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    • Haha, all my ex's all left me. I've never dumped a girl before. It sucks. I'm starting to become a non-believer. If I'm intimidating.. I don't know how to tell a girl is really interested by looking. =\ thanks for the compliment though. :) and yes of course that's me in my picture lol no fakes!

    • okay, you look extremely good. the problem is nto your looks. it must be your personality...are you aggressive? are you an a**hole? do you treat women right?

    • Nooo, I'm a soft sensitive guy. I'm a softy with a athletic body. a lot of people take me for a player but I'm no where ever near that. I'm into poetry and love and stuff... I always kept a cool head with my ex. I don't know what it is about me. I always told'em I cared. ha ha I got walked all over.. sucked. I do treat girls right though, I don't name call them. I'm the type of guy who puts others before me in times of hardship

  • Stop looking for love! Enjoy life!

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    • hard not to look for it when its been truly absent for 6 years though xD lol but I do understand what you mean. I try my best to enjoy it :)

  • I don't see online dating as desperate. :) I do it too and I have meet some pretty cool guys through it.

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  • i don't see anything wrong with online dating

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  • I met my boyfriend of 4 years online, so no need to be embarrassed!

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    • 4 years?!?! man... I've been single for 6 years going on to 7. damn. hopefully I get a 4 year relationship. probably get engaged almost by then xD!

  • I tried it and it was not for me, but it might work for you. Just don't try to completely rely on online dating, because sometimes people do not seem to say and be who they are, which is the risk that comes with online dating.

    However, try to meet people in setting you normally would not find yourself. Maybe you are looking in all the wrong places, such a club or bar, sometimes might not be the best setting. In the comments below you wrote you like poetry, why not go to one of those poetry read alouds.

    Sometimes, you have to give people chances that you would not think you would, because those are the kind of people that could surprise you.

    All the best.

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  • I wasn't a fan of online dating until about two months ago, I was turning 19 and had never a serious boyfriend. I finally tried a free site just to see if it was for me, if it was any better then it was in person. Within minutes I had people messaging me, and only two weeks later I met my current boyfriend (been together a month and a half, no sign of quitting yet), he lives close, and it's like we were made for each other. It might be a bit harder for guys, because girls are a bit lazy when it comes to romance (as in we sit and wait for the guy to make the first move), but it doesn't hurt to try. As to not taking time out to meet in person, eventually you will, but it makes breaking the ice a lot easier. I know that in person I'm extremely shy and practically silent all the time, but online I am more open. As long as you make it clear you don't want something that's an online, long-distance relationship, you will find someone willing to meet you in person, as long as you are willing to meet them. I know I met a lot of people who wanted to meet after just reading my profile, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. I think what most people are afraid of is not finding anyone online, and it may take some searching, but they're out there for the taking. Just make sure you're ready (by that I mean you are comfortable with yourself as you are, no self esteem issues or anything like that) otherwise if you come across a long wait for your match you might feel worse then when you started looking. That's about the only warning I have, besides the given, be careful who you talk to (some girls online are desperate 'Swimfan' stalkers as I call them) if you see any hint that they might be a stage five clinger, proceed with caution.

    If you feel like it's something that could make you happy, do it, tell anyone that mocks you to kick rocks and make yourself happy.

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    • Lol that is some great advice. probably the best answer yet. What site did you use..? I looked at Okcupid.com and about two other sites ones you pay for but I'm not going to pay for their prices ...bleh. and yes you are right about the stalkers. ha ha that would suck to have a girl stalking me online

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    • the woof side? ha ha what's that mean? :P

    • means they have a face like a dog. When a really ugly girl walks by instead of saying "damn, that chick has a face that could make a dumpster hurl" I say woof.

What Guys Said 7

  • This works sometimes for women,k gusy outnumber then over 10 to 1 online, but for guys, hardly ever.

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    • True on that. It's a meat fest..

    • For a guy, face to face is the way to go. Join clubs for people with common interests get your friends to group date with you...relax and don't 'press.' In the times we live in, most people hesitate to get involved with anyone--you're not at all alone. Except in online dating where girls have so many options, you might as well be alone

    • Best answer, right?

  • Always better in public in my opinion... I know someone who used to go on them and all they ever got were creeps, I'd not say they all are, but a majority seemed to be. Asking people out in public is almost always the better idea I'd say. 6 years is a long time for anyone, you're looking at a different approach which is good, although I'd still not use something like online dating myself...

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    • haha yeah, desperate times call for desperate measures.

  • Sure try it, why not. You have an advantage because she can now instantly a pretty good picture of you, with your photos and your profile information can help you much more, since she won't be so creeped out because she knows nothing about you, face to face.

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    • You're right about that my man. that's what I think about it too. face to face they don't know me at all and it can turn awkward fast. online they can see me and read about who I am what I'm about. like 2 out of 5 relationships are from online dating now I think or its higher now..but online dating is beating out face to face dating ha ha so I decided to give it a shot

  • I have considered as of late. I just don't have the opportunities to meet people in public or the time.

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    • Same, I'm always working, so online is like my last resort.. sadly...

  • I've been using OkCupid for a while now and met up with some pretty awesome girls, so I definitely say go for it. The vast majority of guys (I'd estimate around 99.9987%) on there suck anyway so it's pretty easy to get dates if you know what you're doing. I've been at a point for months now that I honestly don't have time to keep up with all the conversations I have going on-it'd be depressing if it wasn't so damn awesome :)

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  • girls online are far more picky than they are in real life

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  • Don't wait to get approached, You're not in high school anymore. :)

    Bad pickup lines served with some irony is a great ice breaker.

    Learn a few eberassingly bad ones, practice in front of the mirror so you can get the delivery down every single time. Don't be afraid to screw up. If you blow it with one girl, find another!

    To answer the question, no it's not deserate. All tools that gets the job done are allowed!

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