Am very shy 34 year old guy I am trying to brake my shell its has not been going to well. I try to talk to women but I can't keep them interested.
the only remotely girlie thing I am in to is cooking. I have NO interests in art, music, fashion, actors, singers,sports, and books.
My interests are my kids,cooking,cars,beekeeping,making moonshine,camping,fishing,hunting and a big US. History buff I need to be working with my hands on kind of guy I love to build things like my still,hot rods, and so on. I also love to go for drives.
Most Helpful Girl
Well, I think you might be thinking about this in the wrong way. You're thinking about yourself---the things you're interested in and the things you're not interested in.
I used to be quite shy and I had difficulty maintaining conversations with people (men and women). The best advice that I was ever given was: When you're talking to someone, ask them a lot of questions about themselves. People like to talk about themselves.
And it's true. People like to talk about themselves; or, maybe it isn't necessary that people like to talk about themselves all the time (in the sense that they only care about themselves and their own interests), but it's a lot easier to talk about yourself---since 'yourself' is a topic that you know a lot about.
It might be easier to talk about your own life and interests, but when someone leads a conversation by just telling you about themselves and their own interests, it makes you feel like they aren't interested in getting to know you---like they're just interested in themselves.
When someone asks you questions about yourself, it makes you feel like they want to get to know you.
So, when you're talking to a woman, ask her about herself. Ask her about her hobbies, her interests, her job, her children (if she has any), her experiences, her opinions, etc. You may end up on some topics that aren't particularly interesting to you---that's okay. You're not likely to meet a person who has all the same interests as you do. There will be some things that you're interested in that she's not, and some things that she's interested in that you're not. But the point is to get to know each other (which may include topics that you don't share a mutual interest in)---and to also find out what things you do have in common.
Now, if she's a decent conversationalist, she's not going to only want to talk about herself, so she's also going to be asking you questions about yourself---because she wants to get to know you as well (however, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that if she doesn't do this, it means that she's not interested in getting to know you---it could be that she's shy and not the best at conversation either).
If you notice that the conversation has been focused on you and your interests for awhile, turn the focus of the conversation back toward her by asking her some more questions about her. A good conversation is a two-way street---sometimes the focus will be in her direction, sometimes it will be in your direction. Ultimately, however, your hope will be to find topics that you share a mutual interest in---because those are going to be the most interesting and enjoyable topics for both of you---and the conversation will flow more naturally.
So, for example (and I realize that this is a bit idealistic, sometimes it takes longer to find a shared interest);
You: So, what do you like to do for fun?
Her: Well, I like watching movies, spending time with my friends and family, curling up with a good book...
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