How would a girl react to a guy being oblivious to her advances?

Okay, so I used to be really, really shy and whenever a girl came up to me and acted somewhat interested in me, I wouldn't know what to do and would end up acting like I was oblivious to her feelings towards me.

She would then basically wouldn't have a crush on me anymore. She also wouldn't really even look at me or try to be nice at all.

Recently, I went through some problems with a tenant of mine. I helped her a lot and told her that it was because she was a foreign student. I gave her a bunch of furniture and showed her around town. We also lived together in the same house. She moved out 7 1/2 months early due to a strain on living with each other due to our relationship, or lack thereof.

Because I was her landlord and thought of her more as a daughter than as someone I'd be interested in, I didn't notice what I would have otherwise thought were advances until she moved out.

I'm not going to describe what she did in this post, but it seems like she wanted a relationship. I was her landlord, so I didn't expect anything more than just talking every once in a while.

When she made her advances, I didn't show that I was interested in her, and the very next week she wouldn't even look me in the eye and would answer, "How is your day going?" with "Fine."

I asked her what was going on, and she said that she was just really busy and really stressed out, so she was acting the same way with everyone she knew, except for Japanese people. Two days later an American friend that she got drunk with that night came in the house with her and talked to me for a couple minutes, so I know she was lieing.

I was 21 and she was 26, at the time.

So, would a woman react to being turned down/not getting her feelings reciprocated by ignoring me and giving me the cold shoulder like crazy?

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Also, if you read down to here, if a guy told a girl who this happened to that he is sad that she isn't treating like a friend anymore, would she then become more upset because he still acted like he didn't even comprehend that there could be a romantic relationship between the two of them?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm this is tough. Well yes and no. The same thing happened to me actually with a guy friend of mine. He completely stopped texting and talking to me,wouldn't even look at me! I didn't find out till a month later that he had a thing for me.

    So I think yes for two reasons. One being that sometimes we women can be extremely immature and we get mad at the guy and blame him for not picking up on or reacting to our signals. Then we label him an idiot and act like little snots around him cause were mad. The second is we can also be extremely shy and we drop little hints saying that we're into some guy without actually coming out and saying so. But a guy not picking up on those hints or acting on them is still a rejection and rejection hurts, so we avoid the guy and act like we don't care so we don't hurt anymore.

    And no because some women know that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And if this particular fish doesn't want her or doesn't understand that she wants, then she just finds another fish :)

    Sorry it's so long.

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    • That really explains a lot. It's not until almost four months after she made her moves that I was able to think about things, because there was the constant reminder that she hated me. (At least that's how I took it.)

      From how it seems, she had enough time to go from the "labeling me an idiot and act like a snot" to knowing that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

      Let me ask you another thing:

      If a guy showed he was sad that you stopped talking to him, would you feel happy that he cares?

    • I would be extremely happy,but I could also start to think that he just now realized that he likes me as well so I would talk to him hoping that we could further our relationship.

      If you don't have those kind of feelings for her it might be a little tough getting her to accept the fact that you just want to be friends. I tried explaining to my guy friends that I just wanted to stay friends and everything got even worse.

    • Thanks!

      Whenever I saw her afterward, she seemed kind of happy to see me, but still didn't seem to want to spend time with me or have a conversation.

      With what you said, it would make sense at how after I talked to her she seemed happy to see me, especially when I was outside of the house. She really liked going places with people, so it seemed like she liked it when she saw I had a social life. (I was working like crazy for a while.)

      Anyways, thanks so much for the help!

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