Did I do the right thing?

My boyfriend broke up with me and it ended civily. It ended because he said he saw it getting to a point where I would be more attatched to him than he would be to me. He swore that it was him and not me, and he's an honest person so I believe him. He would tell me if it was something different. We dated for about 2 months and have known each other for a year and a half. He told me that he really cared about me and still wanted me in his life and wanted me to be a friend. I told hiim that it would be a while before I would be able to-never giving him a deadline as to when I would feel comfortable. He told me that I should do whatever I needed to do and then approach him. I decided to give myself a 6 week rule with no communication. However, I didn't want him to think that I was angry or hated him, because neither is the case. I called him a week later, he didn't pick up, and left that on his voicemail. I basically said what I told you, and added that if he needed to get ahold of me he could. Did I do the right thing? Or did I just make myself sound crazy?

Updates:
Yeah, it gets a little easier every day. It just sucks to miss someone like that. Its hard to go from being able to think about them all you want because they are yours and then not being able to, because they arent.
did not mean that to be an update, sorry
He texted me last night saying that it was nice to hear from me and to "Please take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere."


I do feel tons better.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's understandable what you did, but you really need to keep with your 6 weeks of no communication. You told him already that you needed time and he understood that so he knows your are getting space to move on. I went through the same thing. I dated a guy for 3 years and he broke up with me for another girl. I was really painful and even though he still wanted to be my friend it made moving on even harder. A month after the break up I told him I needed distance from him and just couldn't see or talk to him until I had moved on. He understood and gave me this space. It really helped me to focus on other areas of my life and see there was more then just him. It also made him miss having me in my life and he dumped the new girl and came back to me.

    I used to think no contact wouldn't work because it would come off as mean or as me ignoring him, but now I see it is the best thing you can do for yourself after a break up. So keep with the 6 weeks and next time you feel like calling or texting him, put the phone down and find something to keep your hands and mind busy until the feeling passes.

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    • Yeah, other than that phone call I've been pretty good.That is the only time I have tried to contact him since we have broken up. I know it hasn't been long, but still, lol, its hard. I figure, I said what I had to say, and he knows what is going on. I did what I could, and now its time to leave it alone.

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I wouldn't say that was a bad thing,

    but it was kind of calling a little too soon.

    since you two broke up

    it shouldn't matter if he thinks you're angry.

    You did do good by giving yourself a time fame of not communicating with him.

    So stick to that and you should be fine =]

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    • Do you think that could be part of the reason he didn't answer the phone?

    • Show All
    • Yeah, it gets a little easier every day. It just sucks to miss someone like that. Its hard to go from being able to think about them all you want because they are yours and then not being able to, because they arent.

    • I went thru something similar

      I really liked a guy for almost a year

      but for certain reasons

      we never really went out

      so I had to just forget about him.

      It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do

      because I still had some feelings for him

      but eventually he faded away over time

      and now I'm happy with my current bf

      so try to hang in there

  • well can't blame you for calling him at all but I would've done the same thing its hard I'm kind of in the same situation myself but the communication part is hard because I end up texting him..

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