Friend trying to set me up...what do I do?

I'm in college and my friend keeps trying to set me up with guy friends of hers. the only problem is that all these friends of hers go to another school...usually an 1-2 hours away. I'm not entirely sure I want to be in a relationship right now (i've never been in one before and I just want to focus on school right now) usually I just say "no thanks. I'm fine" and she drops it with that guy. but now, the new guy she is trying to set me up with is her boyfriend's roommate. and she's talked about me to that guy (which she hadn't done with all the previous guys). so now this guy is interested in meeting me and has friended me on Facebook. I don't want to seem rude and deny the friend request...but at the same time I don't want to accept, start talking to him and lead him on. I'd rather not my first relationship ever start off as long distance. he's cute and seems like a great guy and all...and he's interested in me which is a first...no guy has ever shown interest in me. so maybe it could turn out great...or maybe not. idk.

any advice?

Updates:
I suppose I should also add:

1. about a month ago he got out of a long term relationship...not entirely sure how long the relationship was but I know it was at least 6 months.


2. I go to an all girls college...so I can't really date guys at my school haha. but there is a university just down the road and I'm over there once a week. I think it would be much more ideal to meet a guy there...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I answered based on your request :)

    Listen dear. I have been in two LDRs before and I don't recommend it at all. There are a few reasons why you shouldn't do that:

    1- You seem like you are happily single and even if you want a relationship you want him by your side, support you and hang out with you and to enjoy your time together. LDRs are hard and problems arise because of the distance. A lot of drama rise from trust issues, being far from you, etc...

    2- You will hurt the guy. He just ended a relationship and if you left or drama happened, he will panic and get depressed.

    I suggest that you tell your friend to stop setting you up because you don't want to. Be polite yet firm with her. As for the guy, don't accept his frend request because if you did you are giving him hope. High hopes and expectations lead to frustration and depression eventually. Don't feel bad because you are doing him a favor. Good luck. :)

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    • thanks :) you definitely cleared things up for me haha

    • I am glad. :)

What Guys Said 3

  • You should really have a conversation with your friend, and tell her that if she keeps doing that, there's no point in being friends any longer.

    I did that back in college days, when I wasn't ready, and it made things easier afterwards.

    Relationships are something you don't want anyone else to have their hands into.

    And no, it's not "cool" to date if you don't want to.

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  • I personally think this would be great for you. Think about it if you date this guy and he's long distance, you can get to know him still, have fun when you see each other, and still focus on school. Dating a guy at the same college you attend can be rewarding, at the same time it can be distracting and stressful, which you don't need. Dating a guy at the same college, you get to know and see each other more, but that can be a huge distraction away from your studies. Way the pros and cons of dating this guy, then do what's best for you. Good Luck.

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  • I think the thoughts you've written above are wise ones. LDRs suck.

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What Girls Said 3

  • If you don't want to then say no. You don't have to do something you don't want to do, its not rude that's just the way it is. Rude would be like "hell no I don't wanna talk to your stupid ass", just turning someone down isn't being rude

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  • Gurll...tell her that! Tell her almost everything you just said! If she's your friends she'll understand. Make your own choices. If you're not ready, hell! You're not ready! :)

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  • I think you should actually go for it and try it out, your not losing anything by trying

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