Why date if you essentially know it won't last?

This is something I never really understood about dating and relationships in general. Some people date countless guys or girls only to break up with them a few days or weeks later.

Don't get me wrong, I understand it that people want sex and such. But that's what 'casual' dating, friends with benefits or one-night stands are for.

What I don't get is how people can get so into a relationship and think it's serious, the love of their life and all that jazz only to break up shortly afterwards?

I mean, why attach yourself so closely to someone else emotionally just to cause yourself lots of pain and sadness?

If I commit myself into a serious relationship I do my best to make it work. If it somehow doesn't work out in the end I'll think hard about why that was the case. And not just start the next one with my new "love of my life".

Do people actually BELIEVE that their "serious" relationship will last (which would make them fairly stupid)? Or do they know that it will eventually fail anyway (which would make them deceitful)?

Updates:
It seems to me that lots of people love the feeling of being in a relationship more than the person they are dating.


For girls this might apply:


Be single -> come across hot guy -> date him because he's hot, feel good -> he has bigger flaws than expected / you get bored -> break up -> hate all guys -> feel lonely -> look for a relationship -> new guy comes along -> date him

0|0
4|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • I always try to make things work between me and my SO. I have dated more than one person, and yes it was sad that things ended. But that happens. I don't actively go out looking for someone just to date, I am dating to find that person who will be special to me for the long

    I'm not sure how you find that person without dating them. I have never been the person to just go out and date a different person every week, most of my relationships have lasted several months and then I carefully searched for someone new. I took time to get over the relationship ending and find out why it ended.

    I don't take relationships lightly, if I am with someone I am committed and I am careful to make sure that we are on the same page.

    I hear what you are saying though. I know people who do that. They get involved with someone, date for a week and that person is their "one and only!". But in two weeks time they are broken up and it's onto the new person.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I do it this way: I don't go out "looking for a relationship"

      I think trying to find someone to date is the completely wrong way. I just live my life and if I come across someone I find interesting/attractive, I try to get to know them better (without going out with them immediately). If they are cool people, nice and interesting, I will go on dates with them and make a move.

      If I don't come across anyone particularly interesting I just don't date. I don't look for a relationship.

    • I tried doing that but I didn't ever meet anyone. No one that I really hang out with is someone I would date, that was the problem. But I guess you just have to do whatever works for you.

What Girls Said 3

  • i'm on the same page with you. I do date people that I might not normally because I feel I should at least try people I connect with on some level. Ya never where it could lead but after that first meeting I can normally tell its nothing more and sever it before it gets intimate or too close. some guys agree to be friends but that's always a joke or they are waiting for my weak moment..

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe experience?

    0|1
    0|0
    • I agree

    • So you date someone, tell him you love him, kiss him, snuggle up to him, enjoy being with him, fully knowing that you might well break up with him 24 hours later? Isn't that, you know, being a bit unfair to whoever is in a relationship with him? Or are you just deceiving yourself continuously?

      I mean, I am in a relationship because I enjoy being with one particular person. I am not in a relationship because I enjoy dating and some random person just happened to come along...

    • Well, I've never dated someone with the intention to ever break up with them. Infact, I've never dumped anyone.

  • You can't always be afraid to jump. Ithink that sometimes people know it isn't going anywhere and sometimes they aren't sure but if you feel a strong attraction you need to try.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 1

  • Didn't read anything but the title, people don't know how long there going to be with the person, but they my find things that they share with each other and things they don't and so by dating a lot of different people they just haven't found mr or miss right yet.

    1|0
    0|0
    • If I may quote myself... "So you date someone, tell him you love him, kiss him, snuggle up to him, enjoy being with him, fully knowing that you might well break up with him 24 hours later? Isn't that, you know, being a bit unfair to whoever is in a relationship with him? Or are you just deceiving yourself continuously?"

    • Show All
    • No, it hasn't happened to me at all tbh. I'm just wondering about other people's motivation

    • oh because its a weird question. if something like that did happen give the girl some space. and in a day or two things go back to normal. "its girls being wried" and that happen to all girls and a lot of times

Loading...