Why don't women have enough social intelligence to see beyond the surface?

I was talking to this girl one time. I thought we were hitting if off. She seemed really nice and funny. After about 4 strait hours of talking to her I told her she had nice hair. She slapped me harder than anyone has ever hit me in my life

I met a friend's girlfriend the other day. He introduced her to 2 of my other friends first. She shook their hands talk to them. When he introduced me to her she wouldn't shake my hand and ignored me.

I tried to help a woman that dropped something at the store one time. She sprayed me with mace. Caught me off guard, I ran to the bathroom never got the chance to ask her why.

I went on a date with a girl I met at church, and when I stood up I passed out. I have a blood sugar problem. When I came to she had left me there. I had to walk 7 miles home, feeling sick.

Today I had a girl tell me that I was not good looking enough to be nice to her.

It doesn't matter where I look or how low I aim, most women act this way.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You have some horrible luck with women..All of the women that you just described are all shallow and they will get what is coming to them sooner or later. I really don't know what you are doing wrong from what you describe..you sound like a nice guy. Lol the lady with the mace was a little extreme and paranoid! The only advice that I can give to you is to continue to be yourself..eventually you will find a girl that trully appreciates you. I don't know what is on your surface but I can confess to being shallow as far as looks because if I'm not attracted to you I'm not going to talk to you..The difference between me and those women is that I'm straightforward and I don't waist my time going on dates with people that I have not true interest in...I have recently fainted in Dunkin Donuts because of problems that I'm having with my blood sugar and if I were that girl who was with you, I would not leave you there like that I would of made sure that you was o.k..i probably would have freaked out and called an ambulance.

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What Girls Said 8

  • you can't assume all girls are not capable of seeing beyond surface.

    try to find someone who has more substance or a brain for that matter.

    it might be your approach to things that prevents you from meeting the right girl or appearance (no offence intended)-i'm just saying and also it could just be that you dont' hav eluck with girls and it might be that the girl isn't friendly.

    im sorry to hear that

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  • um how do you look like? and I really don't know what to say - either you live in a crazed-up state - where women go nuts, either it's the way you look or its your approach although I gotta say talking to a girl for 4 straight hours and you given her a compliment - I mean you shouldn't get slapped for that! I can't tell you anything - I don't know people are very cruel and never want to understand anything, my advice is take care of yourself first.

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  • Be mindful and document every crazy encounter that you had with woman. How did you guys mee? Who approach who(You aproach her, she aproach you)? What was the starting sencetence(Hey how are you doing? You very attractive)? What was the setting of the place you met(a club, the parking lot, a woman passing the street, a woman crossing a ointersection, the grocery market, chucrh)? How do you dress(ganster loking, like a casa nova, a painter with its jeans dirty, a sweety white t-sh*t with yellow marks on the armpits, a cholo, a mean biker, the butcher)? How did she dress(Conservative, feminine[when a woman dresses feminine she knows that their might be a lot of guys tring to hit on her or looking at her because she is attractive. Unfortunately even the creepy ones a lot. So she must be more defensive to make her self sound clear)? How far alway did you see her and then try to aproach her(you saw her at the entree of Target and so you chase her all the way in the electronic corner because you wanted to talk to her. She wounders, why did this guy chase me? Or did he just follow me?)? How much eye contact did you give(Did you stare like an awl idiot? Did you triangle invlove only the eyes,nose and lips? Or was your triangle larger from the eyes, nose, lips and breast? Or was it just plain obvious and involve the eyes, nose, lips, breat and genitilia? Especially the genitelia?)? How much eye contact did she give you(Was she ignoring you?)? How did her body language appear to be(Cross arms, open arms, cross feet,open feet, shoulder blocking, foot pointing towards a direction that she wants to leave?)?Open or defensive? How did your body language appear? Dominant, controlling, invading the personal space when still strangers? What color of clothes did you wear? Green(nature lover), red(show off, dominant), white(purity), orange(anoying), black(mysterious)?... Their are lots of reasons why people act the way they act. If people become to defensive at your sight or presence. Then their might be a reason why? If you aproach a woman properly and you do it in the proper places, in the proper attire, with the proper words and body language, then their should be not be a real reason why people throw cofee to you in your face.

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  • they think that you are werid. they think that outside looks are everything. I know, people have done the same things to me (even though I am a girl). they think if you don't look nice then they won't be attracted to you. happens all the time. but you are looking for the wrong girls. maybe the girl who you told had nice hair was having a bad hair day or something. things happen.

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  • hmmm maybe it's just you appraoch try some different but keep being you and just be nice. Girls that act like that are not the ones that you want to get involve with anways . You'll find someone.

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  • well some girls are just insane. so don't flirt with the insane ones.

    maybe just work on yourself, work out, get some good outfits and don't bother with girls who dont' seem interested.

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  • oh my god! you have some bad luck don't yamaybe you need to start talking to less shallow ppl

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  • humm... Social intelligence, and looking at the surface-- I will let you berate a women's social intelligence and claim that we are not "looking beyond the surface" when you can successful state that men look beyond the surface and can claim the same intelligence that you desire of us girls.

    But as a girl, I will apologize for their actions and if it caused you any grievance. I know that the majority of us are shallow. Because I will admit I am shallow, but looks are distracting whether they are positive or negative, they have a huge impact on your life and daily conversation. Maybe you would consider it unintelligent to asses danger via looks and image portrayal, but it helps. And don't take too much offense sometime really cute guys get turned down because they are "stupid" or "too nice" or "not my style": looks are definitely not alone in the treat guys like dirt category. But the cool thing is that men where made from dirt... Sorry total biblical reference...

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    • It's not about an apology, that's like a kid with down syndrome knocking a plate full of food off the table. It's just in their nature.

      I just want to know why. I want to know why I was left in that restaurant and I could have been dying.

      I would also like an explanation why I had hot coffee pour in my face. Third degree burns don't look too "pretty" on 54% of your face.

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    • A lot easier said than done.

    • Agreed, but sometimes people can't take the easy way out.

      Okay not to be all crazy christian, but I will pray for you. I want the best for you and I know God will open up a door for you. and if you feel up to it I would encourage you to read luke 14:28-30, it just lets you know that God never does anything without knowing if he can finish it . and also God has the whole jeremiah 29:11 promise for you. So you are pretty much garrenteed a sucees with this.

What Guys Said 4

  • This is like the 3rd time you've asked this question.

    I'm thinking we're definitely going to need to see some pics.

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    • This man speaks truth. Since the women are obviously reacting to your initial appearance & impression, we need to see exactly what they're reacting to in order to give an informed conclusion.

  • OK seriously, my sympathies to all your misfortunes, but that doesn't give you the right to accuse women of being stupid or bad. You mentioned five women and I don't care if there's 1000 that you didn't mention, you can't do that to people.

    The same way a sports team won't win every game, not every girl you meet is gonna be nice to you. I've had girls who completely wrote me off before taking the time to get to know me. On the other hand, I've had girls who have been very good to me. You know why? Because when I do get shot down, I don't ask questions like 'Why do women do that? Why are they like this?' I'm fully aware that there's no standard behaviour for people (including women) so I know that the results aren't always gonna be the same.

    Do not write women off as a stupid or selfish sex. If you do, that hopeless feeling you have inside will reflect outwardly. And if you look hopeless, you won't attract any girl that's worth anything. You reap what you sow.

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  • wow that is ridiculous! ( I am agreeing with you) I have tried to help various ladies pick things up and a few times I have received death glares or "i can do it myself" but mace...a bit too far. (well what did she drop?)

    I think it is quite hypocritical that women typically refer to guys as being shallow but often I have seen it the other way around. Plus some women are just what rhymes with itches.

    Anyway keep up the good deeds they will soon pay off

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  • Generalizing women ain't gonna make things better for your dating life... It depends on the typa chicks you go for- and most girls aren't like how you was saying... I been there... You're not doing yourself any favors here

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