What went wrong? Should I call him in a couple of weeks?

I met a man at a bar. He knew my friends and he seemed very nice. We found out that we have a lot in common. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He then gave me his. A few days later I sent him a text message and he responded. We sent texts to each other every few days. Anyways one day he asks me to get something to eat with him after work. It wasn't a date but we did talk for about an hour. I thought it went really well. I don't hear from him all week so I sent him another text message. He responded and I asked him to go to a party with me on the weekend. He said he was out of town but he would try to go when he got back home before it ended. Well I call him later that night and he doesn't answer but he shows up to the party. The whole night he basically ignores me. I finally go up to him and talk to him but after a short conversation he starts talking to someone else. Did I do something wrong? I'm thinking maybe I pushed too hard and maybe I need to take a step back. Or maybe he didn't want a romantic relationship and just wants to be friends. Or maybe he was just in a bad mood. I however don't understand why he would avoid me. I know from mutual friends that he is kind of timid around females but I don't understand why he wouldn't want to talk to me. Should I call him in a couple of weeks?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • well you're female right?, wouldn't he be timid around u, since they made that observation?, anyway, from what it sounds like after he started talking to someone else, he's probably bored of you/didnt like the conversation, he could have handled it better, I think, but, hey, guys are just as weird as girls are ( no offense, I'm still trying to figure your gender out as well) if he continues to ignore you after a certain amount of time, just move on--hes not interested

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    • I agree. If a boy does like you then he would put in more effort to get to know you. Even if he is timid. If you had been too fast the best thing to do is take a step back and act more mysterious and less easy to get. Maybe he first needs to be more comfortable around you before rushing into a relationship. Rushing would only make the situation worse.

    • Yeah, rushing really is one of the last things you want to do

What Guys Said 2

  • Meeting someone at a bar has nothing to do with them having problems. Where did you come up with that idea? You're already shooting down possibilities with that kind of thinking. He sounds like a little bit of a player though. Let him make the next more. If he doesn't forget about him.

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  • you answered your own question, here I'll quote it.

    "I met a man at a bar." There you have it. You meet someone in a bar they are bound to have some type of problem. Most guys that go to bars just want a good f**k, that's all it is. They don't want a relationship.

    Now if you met a guy from a class of yours, or any other place besides a "bar" then it would be different. :3

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    • Not all guys at bars have problems, but generally yeah I agree.

What Girls Said 3

  • Let him make the next effort.

    Seriously, if the story really goes as you described, he's being a weird dork. I would not call/text him...and that means NOT CALL/TEXT HIM! Revert back to Life before you knew him. Nothing you did was pushy or overbearing at all...you merely responded to him as anyone who likes another persons company and wants to get to know him/her better. Maybe he was in a bad mood, or doesn't want to pursue romantic endeavors, but you need to let him offer this up on his own. Otherwise, who cares?! ; ) Let him live in his socially-awkward, weird, little World! You don't need the drama.

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    • Thanks! I actually sent him a few texts because I became nervous but he ignored most of them. I am definitely going to leave him alone now. If he was interested he would make an effort. I know I will see him in the future though. Do you think if I do see him I should just be cordial and say hello but not go out of my way to talk to him?

    • Yes. I would be certainly be friendly-afterall, he hasn't done anything awfully hurtful-but wouldn't overly extend myself.

  • definitly call him and try to find out what's wrong, that not knowing will kill you. I've been in the same situtation and I think if I would have just called instead of waiting on him I would have saved myself a lot of stress

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  • He doesn't have too many friends and went to the party not for your sake but because he wanted to expand his social circle. He used you as an excuse to go to a party where he could do that. I think you care about this more than he does.

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