I have recently joined an online dating website (I know, I know - go ahead and roll your eyes) and I've noticed a lot of the girls on there have headlines like"looking for a good guy", " where have all the good ones gone", "tired of creepers", etc. About 85% + of their profiles state that they are not looking for a FWB, hook up,one night stand, etc. - Understandable, all of this.
I have stated bluntly in my profile that I am looking for a relationship and not into one night stands. I have messaged a few girls but no reply. The message I send them is more than a "hey what's up?" or a "how are you?" message. I comment on things that are in their profile (mutual interests, movies, books, etc.). Sometimes I comment on looks - a shirt they are wearing, nice eyes, etc.
I never get replies. It seems as if I am meeting whatever requirements they bluntly say they are looking for but have no interest. I feel as if they say one thing and look for another. Girls in real life are like this too only they don't have a paragraph taped to them that is open for anyone to read. NOT ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THIS! (Sorry I had to all caps that it emphasize that before I get pissy comments about that.
Girls - why are girls like that? (not saying that you are like that)
Most Helpful Girl
Well, maybe they just are not seriously looking. I know online dating can be tough, I have been doing it for over 6 years now :P On and off of course, as I found relationships along the way. You just have to keep trying.
There are some guys on dating sites that will say they are looking for something serious and don't like FWB's or random hook ups, but they are just trying to bait a girl because they known that most girls are not looking for that. I had that, and it sucks. The guy basically fed me this story and then I met him, hung out with him a few times and when he realized that I wasn't going to go along with his plan of me hooking up with him, he started to get verbally abusive, and I had to endure his wrath even though he was the one who lied about his expectations.
This can make girls wary because there are idiots out there who are a wolf in sheep's clothing. So it takes some work, plus there are people on there who set up a profile, and then forget about it or are dating someone and don't take it down.
The only thing you can do is keep trying. I know I know, it's frustrating. And you are right, not all girls do this. I had to message my fair share of guys, took me 8 months to find my boyfriend on a dating site! So I have totally been in your shoes. It is frustrating, especially when you send out a bunch of thoughtful messages and get no replies. That is why a lot of people claim online dating doesn't work. But I have had two long term bf's through online dating and met many great people along the way.
Some people are also just on there to troll. I can't even describe some of the things that were sent to me while I was doing online dating. This one 42 year old man sent me a very explicit message, which I did not reply to, but it was really creepy.
Plus some girls are just plain flaky, which seems to be one explanation as to why you are not getting responses. Maybe they are afraid to message you, who knows why. Some girls do not have confidence or are scared to message a guy for fear he won't be who he claims to be online. It's a valid fear, but then they really should be realizing that they are not ready for online dating yet and to only do it when they are absolutely ready.
*******Again, try, try and keep on trying. Someone is bound to reply to you! Or maybe even a girl will message you first! Maybe change the headline. Many guys put "I'm one of the good guys" or something to that effect on there. Think up something more unique or witty like "Candle lit dinner for two awaits you" or "Actively seeking travel companion, inquire within ;)" Stuff like that stands out and will hopefully gain you some messages! Good luck! *****************************************