An odd situation with a girl using the term "hanging out." Please tell me what you think.

So I met this young woman through the church to which we both belong and we have "hung out" a few times (four in total unless one time counts that I'm not). She asked me to "hang out" the first time and it was nice. I've usually paid even though she always offers. Come to think of it, I don't ever remember a time where she paid after I offered--she offered but I always paid. When we "hang out" it is always alone. The last time, we hung out at her place (cause we both were broke) and she cooked for me--something I wasn't expecting. We generally hug at the end of the night.

We've never done anything physical other than hug and high five. The last time we high fived each other her hand kind of slid down my palm which sorta caused my fingers to wrap around hers. To be honest it was a little awkward for me as I didn't quite know what to do.

The odd part is that these "hanging out" sessions are a little far between although they didn't start out that way. We are planning on getting together at a married couples house to play PS3 with them. I do not know if it'll be just the four of us or if there will be more. Even the time and date are a mystery as she said she'd set it up and let me know about it later.

Also, when we talk about it, it is she who calls it "hanging out." I don't know if she's doing it because she doesn't want to date or if she just doesn't want to call it a date either because it's easier for her or maybe because she thinks it would be easier for me. The thing is, I've had to keep myself from calling these "hanging out" things dates and I have since dropped the "hang out" terminology choosing instead things like: "go out," and "get together." She really hasn't stopped calling them "hanging out" but she has used the term less as well. I had hoped that when I dropped it altogether, she would pick up on that fact. I want to date her. I don't want to "hang out" with her. I can "hang out" with anyone. How do I get this across to her.

Honestly, her calling these whatever they are "hanging out" kind of messed with my head a little and I really don't want to be like: "Is this a date, or not?" I have considered using the old "It's a date! :)" thing when next we talk about "hanging out" together. Would that be too forward?

Do you all think she likes me? Are these dates? If not, how can I make them dates? I'm seriously considering talking to her and telling her that "hanging out" with her makes me uncomfortable (which it does) and ask her if she wants to date or if we are just friends or what. Honestly, if we are just friends then the "hanging out" is exactly what it is and I'm fine with it. But if it means more to her then I want to go out on a proper date where we both know it's a date... but if she wanted to date me then wouldn't she just make it obvious? Or maybe she's trying. I honestly don't want to "hang out" with her again until the whole "are we dating" thing is cleared up because it's become frustrating.

Updates:
I honestly don't want to "hang out" with her again until the whole "are we dating" thing is cleared up because it's become frustrating as I think you all can see.


Is my not wanting to hang out with her until I know how she truly feels a bad thing?

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What Girls Said 1

  • They are not dates, you are friends. If you want to date her and not be her friend make that clear. If you just want to be her friend, continue hanging out with her.

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