I'm 17, it's my first relationship. I've had a lot of hookups and short unofficial things, and I'm used to being a single girl who a lot of guys like. After spending over a month sort of seeing this boy, we started dating a couple weeks ago. A couple days before, I kissed another boy who was leaving for college. Still at this point, I have little crushes on other boys... like I care what other guys who have expressed interest in me or who I have liked think about me. The guy I'm with is nice, cool, and I can trust him. We don't know each other super well, and he's not the most attractive guy. Last night we had sex for the first time; he's been with other girls, but it was my first time. I've honestly been so close so many times that it didn't seem like anything to me. I didn't expect it to be good sex. It was pretty bad and short. I just don't feel any closer to him. This will sound bad to a lot of people, but I can't help feeling kind of happy to just have finally done it, because I wasn't necessarily waiting for the right guy, just a guy who cared about me, who I was exclusive with at the time so I wouldn't feel judged, easy, used, or like I've put it off so much for nothing, and who wouldn't turn around and hurt me. In that way, I guess I could care less about losing it to him in particular. The timing just felt good. It was kind of a relief. At this point, I can see us breaking up and me being fine. Maybe it's because I don't know him well enough, and it just seems like I could have what we have right now with a lot of other guys. I'm so used to being single and flirting that this is all so weird and confusing to me. I feel like I want him, but at the same time I want to be single, too. Then again, sometimes I really like being with him, but since I'm feeling this other way, I feel like maybe I'd feel that way with any good guy. I've had chances with other guys, but he's the only one who has wanted to date me that I have actually wanted to date, too. Maybe I've just had so many short things go wrong that I've taught myself not to be attached to anyone who matters. Advice please?
Dating someone and having doubts?
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you're young, if you aren't so sure about him might as well play the field0
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