How long does it take for dating to turn into something more?

Say you've known each other for roughly about a month...started out as dating and spending a lot of time together the first week, then once the 2nd base was covered and moved past its turned into a "hang out and spend the night together just kickin it, even though you don't know each other that much it's relaxed as if you're almost too comfortable with each other for the fact you barely knew of one anothers existence...and now, you pretty much know a lot about the other person only from them saying it but not by doing it with them by both having busy schedules. Both of you clearly have their way of displaying affection, or something of that sort for one another, not necessarily portraying it verbally. How do you know what a guy is in for it when he treats you like (by any means, every girl should be treated) him picking up the tab was never a question, but even grocery shopping includes you, when he's on his way out he still shops in mind of you taking whatever he won't use before he leaves, him pretty much sharing everything he has and if he doesn't use it and you like it, it's yours to keep. It's like he makes sure I get what I "deserve" because I'm hardly a picky or hard to please person, yet it seems he always looks out for me. I'm not one to rush things, but the fact that I've never started something so fast and then not getting any verbal feedback makes me wonder if I'm just temporary until something comes along that's better, or if maybe the whole talking thing and being affectionate 99% of the time isn't the way some guys show that they care. What are certain things that , even at the very beginning , will somewhat give away weather or not a guy is simply not the one who says it or is overly affectionate (but upon request will follow in the role you request, it just doesn't come naturally ) or if he's just not thaaaaat into you and therefore doesn't want to get in too deep. I've dated guys who made me think that after a month of a bunch of struggeling and them not doing anything to make me feel like they actually cared about me, and I've dated guys who basically jumped at the opportunity to make the most of the time we could have together. I have friends who met the "love of their life" via a one night stand, or after 2 weeks of dating ending up pregnant...but I'm not hoping to get into a situation where that would be my wish. I'm not one to be very attached, but when I can I like to make sure I make that person feel like they are the most important thing. I don't really say it, and usually it requires someone to lead me to that inquiry, and now I'm with a situation where he is just about identical. Being independent is great and fine with me, and I wouldn't change a single thing about me, but I wish there was a way to initiate that maybe the guy would "spill his guts" I'm not sure how long that can take, but it just makes me feel a little uneasy not knowing. The more we spend time together the more I wonder what the hangup is :D INFO


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds as if you guys are comfortable enough with each other and if he's not going to get the hint and experience how great that first night of screwing sweating moaning and pure enjoyment because the nervousness isn't there and how wonderful what you describes could be the next few months, meaning unsatiated lust, then I wonder if he will ever be ready.

    Sound like you might be ready to move on and realizing just how much sex in your life has failed you.

    Good luck, though being the cutie you are there should be a man around the next corner.

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    • its past that already...but I let some time pass to see if that's all he wanted. now my real question is where do I know if he likes to take it slow without any guaranteed tiedowns or how to bring up the idea of what "we" are or what he considers me as he said he'd get back to me. It seems that every time we hang out it's a little more "comfortable" and since he was going on vacation for a little the usual good bye was a kiss and then he waited til I got in my car.

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