Is it me? Or is it them?

Okay, I'm pretty slick on how I meet or begin to talk to the guy I'm into. It works every time! I got that down, but once I start talking to them they never make the next move. Now, I've been told I have a man's mentality. I'm confident, very nice (but firm), pretty blunt, and not at all clingy or needy. I like to do my own thing. When I'm dating someone, I don't really like bothering them because I feel like I'd be smothering them because I feel smothered easily, but I do send a text every once in a while. I get the feeling that my free-spirited self and my open mind makes guys think I'm "careless". I just don't understand. They end up going to someone else and then I have to hear them complain later that "She didn't care". Either, it's me who has a problem (which I don't see because I love the way I am) or they are just being overly sensitive and want more emotional connection with me. Do guys prefer clingy and always wanna-know-where-you're-at type girls? I just don't get it! Can someone please help me out? Should I just keep dating around until I find someone like me or someone who likes me and actually doesn't think I'm heartless? Because I get the "You don't care" card pulled on me alot. Please Help! I have no one else to ask and I usually don't ask for advice!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, boys at the age of 15-25 are pretty much like any woman at the age of 20-25, referring ONLY to not wanting what they want. ( Statement is pretty stereotypical, do not get offended by it. It's just my experience talking) I myself never liked the cotton-candy-sugary-sticky-type girls, that are all over you, pouring sweet words and kisses like a gooey honey waterfall of stickiness.

    Here is the place I explain that I had to mature very early, always keeping my mental state at least 4 years ahead of my coevals. To be honest, I wasn't all that popular in high-school and early university years, due to that. Now, when women are finally looking someone to settle down with, I am overburdened with proposals, dates, dinners and whatever other bullsh*t you might imagine, I even have my own personal stalker.

    To get back on track: Most boys at that age are attention-whores - what they need (this statement is also kind of stereotypical, but in some respect true) are short term relationships with girls that will smother them and suffocate them with attention to the point at which they get enough of it, kill off the relationship and after a few weeks to a month are in the next one - pretty similar to the previous.

    Do not beat yourself about it. There will come a time when boys/men will become interested in you and see you for what a gem you are. Because, your personality-type is rare to see on a girl, do not change! You will be acknowledged.

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    • thank you! I get guys that tell me that too! I guess I'll just wait & keep dating around. It's kind of fun meeting new types of people anyways. lol

      omg! I feel you on the stalker poeple! I think its so weird because I'm a woman & you usually hear about these crazy bitches stalking their ex's or boyfriends when it's the opposite with me! I get phone calls, texts, voice mails for God's sake! I feel like I can't breath. But lately I've been blocking the psycho's off my phone so it's okay (: lol

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