Give him a chance or walk away?

been seeing this guy for about a month now, but been speaking everyday for about 5 months. he's my exs best mate (plus my ex cheated on me) so I know the lads he hangs around with...theyre players, cheats etc.

things that make me wonder if I should just walk away now before I really falling for this guy...starting to already...

when I'm with him his phone goes off (not even joking) like 5-10 times an hour...

he's a laddy lad and likes to go to strip clubs and get pissed as much as he possibly can...

when we're texting and 'mid flow' in the convo he disappears for like the whole day and I don't hear from him till the evening...

he's always really vague about what he's done (obviously I can't ask him cos I'm not his gf) but when he chats about it he never says who he's been with...

do I just walk away from this guy before it gets too hard? or do I wait and see if he's different from his mates?

Updates:
oh and I forgot to add...i don't trust him...i have trust issues so I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or whether I just have a feeling about him. I always thought there was something wrong with my ex, and I was right! psychic ;)!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have basically answered your own question there. You are not his girlfriend yet, and you already have doubts about him. You already know his social habits, you know who and what type his friends are...

    If he is different from his mates, you would have known by now

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What Guys Said 2

  • The biggest issue there is your lack of trust. Regardless of who this guy is, if you have those so called trust issues you should revise that first, and then try to figure out if the best approach to fixing that is putting your hopes in this guy.

    you can't judge him by the people he hangs out with, but it seems to me you have some serious doubts based on how he behaves regularly. If he just doesn't add up...just make up your mind, maybe he's not the guy you need him to be you know.

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    • I disagree with you there. People are judged and measured by their actions AND the company they keep

    • That's too personal Carping. Maybe you judge people that way, and even if done usually I wouldn't say it's right or complete. The same goes for it's actions: they do not define the man. The best example there is a soldier: some would call a soldier a hero, some would him a murderer.

  • I agree with Carping.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with the guys. Do you need him to stand you up and make out with another chick in front of you before you decide he's not dating material? I'm over-exaggerating, obviously, but that's kind of the way your question comes across. Of course none of us know this guy personally, but there's such a thing as *red flags* and this guy is throwing up flags everywhere. If you want to keep justifying stuff that already makes you uncomfortable, go for it. Don't say you weren't warned!

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    • sad thing is I think he is the kind of guy that would do that kind of thing...i just don't think he thinks sometimes!

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