Why are men not interested in dating me?!?!?

I am 28 single parent. I am Asian and black, 5'7, 120lbs. I work full time ,I am a full time mother, and go to gym five days a week. Everyone tells how beautiful I am and that look like I'm in my early twenties. I have been told I have a great personality and I am a great friend. When I tell people I don't have a boyfriend or date much they are in shock.

I was with my child's father from time I was 18-25 and have not had a boyfriend since.

I don't understand what I Am doing wrong! Seems like all my friends have no problem in dating world even if they have children, are bitchy, married,or do not take care of themselves. I keep my self busy with hobbies and still can't seem too meet anyone.

The only time I get hit on a lot is if I go too a bar/club once or twice a year with friends. When I get lucky enough to meet someone they end up usually being married or looking to sleep with me only.

Any advice?

What really is annoys me also is if I get a date..they end up being married or pervs. I do not dress trashy to protray I am easy. Its like I give off bad energy for these type of men.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like your life is already very busy. Men are going to be concerned about you having any time to spend with them, and what priority you'd be in their life.

    Naturally, your kid will be your first priority (and it should be). But most single guys naturally prefer a woman without kids, so that they can be a couple without having to deal with the complications that come with a child. It's definitely going to be harder to find guys who have what it takes to date a single mom (they're out there, though!).

    Basically, you need to expand your circles of friends, especially if most of your friends are married couples. Do more things with your single friends, and get to know their friends and expand THOSE circles. And don't be afraid to try some on-line dating.

    And when you meet someone, make sure you're going to be able to make some time for him. That's going to be his biggest concern.


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What Guys Said 5

  • I don't mean to generalize but once you have kids and you go after men who dont, they are not going to have much in common with you. And subconsciously they don't want to fancy the prospect of falling for a woman and maybe end up looking after children fathered by a different man than him. Evolutionarily, men look for women who would be attached to them only, and having kids with a different guy is a major roadblock to it.

    • I know that it doesn't help that I have a child, but she is not always on my hip. I enjoy hobbies and balance my days out. I'm not looking for a father for my child because they already have one. Also, a few of my friends have children and they seem to do fine dating, but not I.

  • depends how keen you are, if you have the confidence & keen to find somebody, then there really isn't an issue. The only thing is you might be your formal in your behavior , being bitchy and flirty nowaday can bring a girl wonders. But if you begin to act wild, then you might look like a clown & this might not get the man that you deserve . . .

  • Some guys definitely will not want to date someone with kids. Maybe there are single dads out there you could meet at things for kids like youth soccer, etc.

    I also notice you use the word "perv" which suggests to me that you form emotional negative opinions of people. You may be more judgmental than you think and this could be making it difficult to connect with people. Have you figured out what went wrong in your relationship with your child's father? In my experience, it "takes two to tango", meaning that probably both of you contributed to things going sour. Until you can understand your contribution, you're likely to keep making those sorts of relationship mistakes and creating challenges in your future relationships.

  • Go out more often. If you always go to the gym, everybody there must have acknowledged you already. Once or twice a year to the pub is not enough, to meet new people. Try every second week-end maybe ? If you are nice looking and your conversation isn't only centered on your child, you should be able to get a boyfriend.

    Guys are pretty afraid of kids, even more when they aren't theirs ;)

    Good luck!

    • I go two gym locations,and yes I have been acknowledged. Everyone knows I have a child at the gym I go to, so maybe that's my issue.

      Bars I see and feel everyone just want to hook up for one night stand.

    • Then maybe try some serious dating site, or ask your friends to introduce you to people ?

      Bars and pubs are sometimes for one night stands, but I know two friends who met their significant other in pubs. Anyway, it's a matter of odds. The more people you'll come across, the more chances you'll have :)

  • Expand your search circle and keep searching,


What Girls Said 1

  • Because you are so busy among work and taking care of children. Contact and meet more guys, not in club or bar, maybe in the street, in the shop mall.