For guys in dating/relations with females, if it better to be too aggressive or too passive?

I'm using an NFL reference because the SuperBowl is almost here. :)

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We know that most females want a guy that strikes her "perfect balance" of the traits she wants/needs.

Just like (ideally) an NFL team aimed to win a championship strives to be balanced in both offense and defense.

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However, let's be frank; the male gender in general has problems with finding a balance in anything. We tend to work in extremes.

Therefore, most guys will be more on one side, or the other.

Just like certain NFL teams are more focused on offense than defense, although they strive to better their "weaker half".

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If a dude, when it comes to dating/relations, is unable to find that perfect balance, is it better for him to be too forward/aggressive (offensive), or is it better to be too cautious/passive (defensive)?

Do you like my sporting reference? 8-)

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To both genders; please vote and respond. Please be detailed; don't be shy. 8-)

Thanks for you input, everyone. :)

  • It's better for a guy to be too forward/aggressive (offensive) with females
    67% (6)90% (9)79% (15)Vote
  • It's better for a guy to be too cautious/passive (defensive) with females
    33% (3)10% (1)21% (4)Vote
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Updates:
Can you answer this question for me, please? GaG screwed me and moved this ? to an unrelated category lol:


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Thanks for your input, everyone. :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Offensive -

    A strong offense improves chances for a touchdown :D

    I'm a pretty hard coach - if my players feel like something isn't going right with the plays, or we're struggling to get some points in during the games, I want them to come to me with their input so we can figure out how to become a better team :P

    I'd rather my guy tell me when something's up or bothering him, then to just shut down and get defensive, or be passive and let issues escalate until a breaking point.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I want an agressive guy. I don't like it when I feel like I have to chase after a guy.

    I answered another question kind of like this yesterday, but to sum up what I said. You have to chase a girl always, but the extent you chase her depends on the extent of the relationship you have built with her. If you just started talking to her, it's best to strike up a conversation with her no more than once every day to every other day.

    We don't want to feel suffocated when we're just in the discovery phase of dating with a guy. When we are just getting to know a guy it's good for us to wonder what he's doing and who else he's talking to. We like to know that he has a life outside of us and isn't going to be dependent on us for an ego boost.

    Once you start seeing a girl more often and getting to know her better, that's when you should start chasing her more often. You need to develop that foundation for the relationship before you start talking to her multiple times a day.

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  • I would prefer a guy to be more aggressive...I have an aggressive personality as well so I need a man who doesn't let me walk all over him...and I have a pretty thick skin so I could hold my own in a relationship like that. I don't get super offended over a guy with a strong personality...but men with really passive characteristics drive me crazy! Stand up for yourself! lol

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  • I like agressivness, even when I push away.

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  • too passive. there's room for improvement there. things can develop.

    but if you're too aggressive, pushy, and make me feel like a hunted animal, I'd be extremely turned off... and scared.

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  • I'd want a more aggressive guy lol

    Then he'd be more...dominant ha ha xD

    I don't want a sissy boy :P

    :)

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  • to passive

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  • I want an offensive guy...he has to fight for what he wants :)

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  • It really depends on the type of girl that matches his personality well. A guy who is too aggressive is likey to get a girl who likes macho, dominating men. Oddly, many aggressive, women seem to be sexually and emotionally attracted to their male counterparts. Also, if a guy is too domineering, especially if he borders on abusive, he'll attract the damaged girls.

    If a guy is laid back, he'll likely attract girls who are also laid back. One problem is that if he's too shy, the girl may also be too shy and missed encounters happen. Also, if a guy is reluctant because he's hiding his damage, he does what the damaged girl does -- end up with someone who violates his needs and abuses him.

    Tipping too far in either direction can lead to serious problems. Otherwise, I'd say do what is most natural to your personality type.

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What Guys Said 5

  • My father always said, there's a place and a time for everything, but its always best to be safe then sorry in my opinion, so I would go with passive.

    Some women like guys fighting over them, some like the idea of having some guy being too forward in terms of flirting, to eachs own in my opinion.

    Its better to be passive and respectful because majority of women prefer their guy to be respectful and patient opposed to aggressive and impatient.

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  • I'd say offensive. It shows more confidence and initiative.

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  • for all the sh*t girls give us about being thick headed girls are about as bad at noticing passive advances as they are at thinking logically when on their period. Agressive tends to win out more

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  • obviously, women hate submissive men, well the majority do

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  • Majority of women love an offensive guy do to the fact that he go gets what he want instead of waiting on the sidelines settling for the punt

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