Should I pursue a guy who is hesitant of committed relationships?

I am experiencing some confusion regarding to a boy. We are both 17.

I've known him for about 2 months now, and when we met we became best friends instantly. A couple weeks after we met, he broke up with his girlfriend (they were together for one 1/2 years, and he said she was manipulative and refused to let him leave her for a long time). Soon after the break up, he asked me out on what felt like a date. We hung out again a couple weeks ago, and we had a wonderful time- he said so himself. However after our most recent outing, he didn't initiate contact until I did. I even asked him to go out next week, and he gave a very alarming "Hmm, if I'm available."

We've been compatible since the beginning, and last time, we talked about our views on relationships. The red flag that got me was the fact that we both shared a hesitation towards commitment. He was afraid because of the experience he just had with his ex.

I really like him though, and he showed all the signs of interest. He kissed me on the cheek a few times, held my hand when we cuddled in the car (while we talked about deep topics), and touched my face a lot (poking my nose, especially). I don't believe that our relationship is purely physical because I know we both feel something more- compatibility and connection. I just don't know if there is something keeping him from pursuing me, or if he's just not interested for some crazy reason. I thought maybe I was a rebound, but that couldn't be possible because he was the one who dumped his ex. I'm willing to wait for him, but I don't know if it is the right/necessary thing to do.

1) Why is he being this way?

2) What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. A couple weeks after we met, he broke up with his girlfriend

    INTERESTING HMMMM

    2. he said she was manipulative and refused to let him leave her for a long time)

    THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BS LINE. SORRY BUT IF A GUY REALLY WANTS TO LEAVE, HE'LL LEAVE. HE AINT MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.

    3. Soon after the break up, he asked me out on what felt like a date.

    INTERESTING...REBOUND?

    4. We hung out again a couple weeks ago,

    FROM MY EXPERIENCES, A GUY WHO IS INTERESTED USUALLY WONT LET A COUPLE WEEKS GO BY W/O SEEING YOU, UNLESS HE HAS OTHER GIRLS TO JUGGLE. JUST SAYING, DONT THINK THAT ITS ONLY YOU IN THE PICTURE

    5. he didn't initiate contact until I did. I even asked him to go out next week, and he gave a very alarming "Hmm, if I'm available."

    HE'S NOT INTERESTED

    6. The red flag that got me was the fact that we both shared a hesitation towards commitment.

    THERE'S YOUR RED FLAG

    7. he showed all the signs of interest. He kissed me on the cheek a few times, held my hand when we cuddled in the car (while we talked about deep topics), and touched my face a lot (poking my nose, especially).

    THOSE ARE PHYSICAL SIGNS OF AFFECTION. THIS MEANS HE WANTS TO GET CLOSER TO YOU, DOESNT MEAN HE'S IN LOVE.

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What Guys Said 1

  • pr3ettybr0wn is correct. if he has sex with you he might get bored fast seeing as he's dumped a girl so soon .

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What Girls Said 1

  • why bother? he's just gonna play you if you do

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    • Are there any tell tale signs that I can observe to be able to confirm that his intentions are bad? I think that at this point, I just need to convince myself.

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