Ok Guys you asked for it. Girls, want to prove them wrong? What determines if a girl will date a guy?

She knows he is single and decides to give him a chance and date him based on:

we want to hear from guys and girls.explain your answers.

  • Looks
    3% (6)23% (26)10% (32)Vote
  • Personality
    19% (42)10% (11)16% (53)Vote
  • Both
    63% (140)44% (49)57% (189)Vote
  • How datable she thinks he is (not his single status, based on other factors).
    15% (33)23% (25)17% (58)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
so mostly girls admit there has to be some attraction there, at least he has to care about his looks, but his personality can make or break him. sorry to the guys who feel I should have made money an option. girls what do you think about the money option?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Over and above personality or looks, the thing for me that can really make a guy attractive to date, is his intelligence. If he's smart and can weave a captivating conversation from almost any thread, then his romantic potential skyrockets in spite of many other factors that could be considered turn-offs. Arrogance, however, is a potential pitfall in this schema. Smarts are a turn-on, but arrogance about smarts is a turn-off. I want to have to think about something in a new way without feeling inferior because I've never thought of it that way before. Do that, and I'm putty in your hand.

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What Guys Said 13

  • It really depends on the age and how attractive the girl is. Young, attractive girls will usually (not always) only date attractive guys. Young ugly girls will be less picky, for obvious reasons. Women constantly say that personality is more important than looks, but the actions of younger women speak otherwise -- they have their fun and make their mistakes in their youth, dating the good-looking jerks, then wise up and pick a decent, less-attractive guy when they're ready to settle down.

    There are exceptions, as always, but not many. When a guy is attractive he usually doesn't need to be nice, and his personality isn't that developed. It doesn't need to be. He gets by on his looks. The same goes for attractive gals. They think less-attractive people are somehow beneath them so they date each other, at which point they slowly learn how important a personality really is and eventually make the change to a different type of person.

    There are a limited number of attractive people with great personalities, but most of those are taken by, well, attractive people with great personalities. Or rich people. "I'm not shallow, but..", or "I know it sounds shallow, but.." -- nobody wants an ugly mate. To the ugly guys out there, wait until you're 40.

    A personality is great, everyone wants a partner to have one -- but in this age of hookups, 2-month relationships, and divorce attorneys, people have stopped picking quality SOs and become more shallow and materialistic. How good is his job? Does he buy me things? Does he look good on my arm? To those exceptions out there, those of you who think about who a person is rather than what their face looks like -- keep it up! To the rest of you, prepare to get with an ugly guy in 20 years when your youth abandons you, and you're left used and abused with 2 kids who don't allow time for dating.

    -This isn't an anti-woman rant, the same goes for guys.

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    • "he.. doesn't need to be nice" -funny. what if he's lost his hair by age 40?

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    • I would also like to add that ladies in their late 20s' & early 30s' who are divorced are now out looking for a Father for their kid(s) and some stability in their life will date anyone or anything.

      It's very hard to tell is this great looking lady into you or the person as mentioned above.

      Not so much for guys because they usually only have the kids on weekends & vacations so they do not have as heavy baggage.

    • Much like JB alluded to, as women age they're looking for father material. Younger women want a hot young guy or rich older one. Hot young guys and rich old guys (all guys, for that matter) want hot young women. Those aging women are naturally unlikely to land a rich old guy, and certainly not a hot young guy, so they're left with older average/ugly guys who were rejected by hot young women 10-20 years ago. Everyone gets someone, sometimes it just takes time. And it pays to be rich/hot.

  • Theres no one answer to this question. It varies depending on the age group, I think. At younger ages (by younger I mean under 25), women tend to put too high of an importance on things that don't matter, such as looks, social status, etc. But as they grow older I think they start to realize that other things are more important, such as personality, though many still but a high importance on money.

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  • I voted on the poll before, but the answers are more interesting than the question. Personality and how they treat you can make a person seem a lot more or a lot less attractive than their looks merit.

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  • Attraction has to be there or there is no chemistry.

    But attraction is a lot more than just looks, someones personality can be seriously attractive. I've had major crushes on some not so good looking girls just because they got in to my head and were different.

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  • I don't know because all girls are different but form my experiences what I think they want is someone who will be there. Someone who is able to make fun of himself to make her feel better.

    Someone who is able to protect them and will never cheat on her. If you can look them in the eyes and make them feel warm in the inside.

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  • If it's just off first glance, and you're rushing into a first date, she'd have to look good to catch the guy. But if you've been friends for a while and she has this amazing personality, looks won't matter as much. Also, for some guys(me *cough*), if the girl asks YOU out then you're sold right there. It says a lot about them.

    Like relationships, it has to come with balance.

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    • Thanks for a guy's pov. I asked out two of the guys who became my boyfriends. there comes a point where you realize it's not going to happen unless you make it happen.

  • honestly, its the personality

    you could have all the money in the world (or none) be great looking (or ugly) and he/she could be single etc...

    but if you can't talk to her/him on a basic and eventually higher level, there's just no point in being with them

    talking is one of the most basic things we know and without it were useless

    itd be like talking to a wall of dry paint, talking to someone who only looks good and has tons of money etc...

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  • looks and monly are what women are after. if women cared about personality, women would not be dating men in prisons, nor would they take abusive men back (re:rihanna)

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  • In initial encounters (i.e where the parties have not been 'introduced') the deciding factor is almost always a man's height.

    I am 178cm (5' 10") and so land in the middle somewhere...generally if I am with a taller guy, almost without fail the more attractive woman will go for him...if with a shorter guy almost always it's me.

    Not scientific, but a lot of guys will get this!

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  • I picked C,because both matter to me.

    Peace!

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  • It is looks and only looks that is all girls care about.

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    • Not true. Looks are always a plus, I want my guy to be more than just a pretty face. Who wants to be with a guy you can't hold an intelligent conversation with?

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    • Look I know I lack confidence a little bit but honestly I know you would choose an attractive guy over a nice guy average guy. Be honest any tell me which guy you would want.

    • Why all the poor ratings?

  • wether he is nice and funny, that's what my girlfriend thinks.

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  • you left out money.

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What Girls Said 25

  • am not voting, its a very individual thing for the girl and the bloke she is deciding too date, or not! One guy it might be that he has the most immense personality is sooo warm and kind but mediocre on the looks but she is blown away because his other qualities makes him more attractive too her.

    You need to understand what makes one person attractive too another is different every time (almost) and what makes someone attractive is not just about looks and personality, its everything including hobbies, interests, how they treat people, how they communicate, how they dress, what they do, their manners, bad habits, their oura and I could go on and on.

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  • No one wants to date someone who looks like he/she does not take care of himself, but I don't need a guy to be too handsome. Average will do just fine. An average guy becomes more handsome when he has a good personality. I also would add that he has to like me a lot.

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    • Yeah that really helps.=]

  • personality trumps looks any day of the week. Sometimes a guy might be nice to look at until he opens his mouth.

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    • Yeah the girls are starting to sound like the guys. =] hahaha

  • both looks and personality. and whether or not he has values and character. if he's honest and caring, if he's going to be there for me, if he's serious, if he has stable income, if he values or respects my occupation or field of study , if he and I have similar view points on a few subjects or things, our interests etc., when or if he wants to have kids (i'm the type who wants to settle down) and other things I guess. I would try to find out his habits or if he smokes or drinks too much, how his spending is, does he seem like a good father type etc, I could go on an don...

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    • You have really thought this out, good for you =)

  • Personality matters, but most of the time I initialize something because of attraction, and if I am meeting them intially, this is look based. I'm sorry, but you don't know the guy's personality right off. However, in terms of getting to know someone, personality takes over. A less attractive person can "gain" in the look department, or a more attractive person can "lose" depending on how they look on the inside. Personally, I'd take less attractive guy and better personality.

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    • Your last few sentences sound just like the guys. so, why is everyone so unhappy with the dating scene?

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    • You have a good attitude and I'm thinking these guys aren't seeing a lot of that. so many of them complain about not even being able to get a date.

    • Totally agree with you. Personality is going to keep me there, but looks is going to draw me in. =)

  • I need to be with someone who has a good personality, has a lot of respect for me as a person and shares at least some of my ideologies about the world. A guy needs to be smart enough to keep up in a conversation with me without needing to be explained every little concept.

    Once a relationship is going, I need to feel something...I need to fall in love or there just isn't any way that I could keep going with it. Though I've never not been in love with someone I was seriously dating.

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  • ...based on looks first and foremost. Without physical attraction, there can be no relationship beyond friendship, because (going on my own experience, it may be different for others) you will be repulsed by the person's advances. However, looks are definitely not everything. There has to be a good personality accompanying their aesthetic appeal or else their looks (that initially reeled you in) mean nothing. A bad personality sours a person's looks, and makes them ugly in your eyes. Similarly, a person who may not be blessed with the best looks, can become so much more attractive in your eyes if they have an amazing personality*.

    *An "amazing personality" obviously cannot be defined because everyone has their own preferences for what they find ideal in a mate. I'd assume most people would agree though, that the traits of intelligence, loyalty, humour, compassion, empathy, and confidence are attractive qualities.

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  • if his looks show that he cares about himself and his personaility shows that he cares about others...

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  • Alot of girls don't typically like unkept boys.

    i'm not saying that they don't like boys

    who get dirty and aren't always dressed up

    but just ones that know how to clean up.

    You know its true too cause if you saw a guy

    that just looked like he never washed up

    or he smelt REALLY really bad, he probably

    would't be the guy that you say, HES THE ONE!

    also a lot of younger girls tend to go for the guys that

    have a higher popularity status and all the girls

    want him...even though some of the best guys could

    be the quiet ones that everyone just passes by.

    I've met some of those myself:)

    they are some of the sweetest too.

    From all the girls that I've ever talked to

    about this subject they say things like

    someone who can make me laugh.

    someone who is family oriented.

    someone who is confident, but not too confident.

    someone who will talk to them about anything and everything.

    and someone who has respect for themselves, for her, and to other people around.

    but those are just the basics.

    All girls have their own views on what kind

    of guy they will date; their own standards,

    which personally I think a lot of girls

    hold those up wayyyy to high.

    they just need to be more open to the people around them

    and you never know who you will come to you:)

    when I comes to the money thing,

    not all younger girls are like that.

    I definitely think it depends on the girls personality

    cause I know I've never been like that.

    it's quite embarrassing actually; expecting them to pay for you..

    they worked for the money and they deserve to be

    using it on other things rather then girlfriends.

    But, to say the least, All girls are different.

    you can't group them together.

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    • Yes I'm glad you pointed out that all girls are different.

  • If a guy is hot but has no personality I won't really want to date him. A guys personality can make him cute but the initial bit of lust is important.

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  • it's always been personality for me. When I first met my boyfriend 6 years ago it was his attitude, the way he treated people, that struck my attention. I remember telling people, wow, I really like him...he is such a nice person. Over the years, I became more and more attracted to him and now I can't take my eyes off of him. we've only been dating for 10 months but we've spent 6 years of really getting to know each other and building a relationship. I still get butterflies when I'm around him. I know that if he wasn't the type of person he is...loving and caring and just a real good guy and the way he respects me, we wouldn't be dating right now.

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  • I care more about personality...looks second. If you connect with someone mentally, and appreciate them for that than they automatically appear more attractive. Trust me I have dated some unattractive guys and have been made fun of for it, but I liked them for them and found them attractive. Someone whom is hot is nice to look at sure, but if there isn't anything going on upstairs, what do you really have?!?!

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  • For me, looks and personality would be taken into account. I'm not shallow, but in the long run I don't think being with a not particularly good looking guy would work because a relationship needs SOME foundation on mutual attraction. Personality is the biggest thing, because as attractive as someone may be, if they have no personality/are too self centered, there's no future there.

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    • If a person says looks they are SHALLOW.

      I say there is a laundry list of things to look for.

      For example:besides looks,and personality,what you have in common,

      brains,respect,good morals,good values,trust,communication,potential

      Going by anything you are SHALLOW plus love in fade.

      Just as fast in the blink of an eye

      PROVE ME WRONG

    • I'm not saying looks are everything. I look for intelligence, morality, a good sense of humor, if he's a gentleman or not, etc., and if someone had those qualities but wasn't attractive, I would give them a chance. When I answered the poll, I took into account that I wouldn't know the person very well, therefor I wouldn't know much about his personality, other than obvious, such as if they appear shy,confident, rude, or kind.

    • (continuation of the above comment)

      But if someone was clean and respectable looking, it would get my attention much better than someone who didn't take care of themselves.

  • its about their pesonality and if there going to treat us right...why would we want to go and date someone that will treat us like crap(even if sometimes we do) but for me I look for personality is the main key but look do help a lot inmy opinon .but every girl has a different standard on what bases they go for but but in the end all the girls want is love well the repectable girls do

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  • Well, what makes a guy date-able to me is if I'm attracted to them, (because you have to have chemistry first!) and how he ,treats me is the main thing. If he shows he's a good guy, why not give him a chance?

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  • I'm young and I'm very attractive if I do say so myself. and I've dated a real ugly guy, because I thought I saw good in him.

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    • What about the add points for personalitiy logic like sereqiel and some guys have said?

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    • Before I didn't see him as ugly as people thought he was but now yes because were through and I see his true color

    • Comes to show u, that you can't judge a book by its cover

  • I like a guy who can keep me etertained in every aspect of a relationship; emotionally, mentally, sexually...he's gotta know how to keep me awake nd on my toes, because I'm definitely a person who gets bored easily and once I'm bored, there's nothing you can do for me. There's no looking back. No working on the relationship or anything. Once I get bored, I get gone

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  • definitely both, I think most people who purely say personality are lieing a bit. x

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  • Mainly personality..sometimes I don't even pay attention to looks..just as long as they don't gross me out, turn me off, or I'm just plain not attracted to. But Definitely personality because in the long run that's all that really matters..

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  • If the guy is hott and a jackass forget it. if the guy is sweet and he's okay than yeah if the guy is sweet but ugly than no and if he's ugly and a jackass than no lol

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    • Lol I needed a good laugh.

    • Hahaha yeah lol unfortunately I have guy like this in my life, lets just say I'm never bored lol

  • it's both...i mean looks don't matter but he's gotta be clean

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  • both: more personality but looks do play a small role for me:]

    i can't speak for all girls though.

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  • how he treats her, personality,looks ,in that order lol

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  • My guy has to have a super personality, and good looks, or forget that!

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  • Personality is certainly the most important factor for me but appearance (as shallow as this sounds) also matters. I once dated an 'ugly' guy because we had quite a lot in common and I had good conversations with him. I don't mean to be big-headed here, but I think I'm quite attractive. He certainly saw me as very attractive. Because of this he used to constantly touch me, kiss me, everything all the time, even in public. He loved it. Almost as though he was showing me off. He became really needy and clingy. It came to a point where I just felt absolutely no attraction to him any more. I never thought looks were a big deal to me but I began to feel repulsed by him, whenever he kissed me. Sounds awful I know. I'd find myself looking at other guys too.

    So, yeah, looks are important to me. I don't mind an average looking guy- they don't have to be super good looking, but there is a line.

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