When a man doesn't call a woman he connected to in a deeper way, there are three possible reasons why!

I saw this interesting question but it had no answers.

This is a quote from a self-help book about dating. Did the author write this because it's true, or because he wants the ladies to feel better and buy his book? :)

Quote: "When a man doesn't call a woman he connected

to in a deeper way, there are three possible

reasons why:

1) He doesn't know what to do with the connection

you share because it's not the right time for him

2) He doesn't know what to do with the connection

you share because he's not mature or capable of

getting any closer

3) Something was said or done that tells him that

a relationship with you is not a fit for him."


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Most Helpful Guy

  • How does one know if he actually did connect with her in a deeper way? Sure the woman might think that but that is the opinion of the guy who isn't in contact with her.

    Why read self-help books anyway? So many people spewing out garbage and people just eat it up. Want to get rich? Buy my book. The last page should read "I got rich buy selling books like these to you! Thanks. :D"

    So I digress, there are a multitude of reasons why. I use 'you' to represent the person who is the woman in the book.

    His fantasy of you will be a disappointment. He has put you on a pedestal and you will never be as good as what's in his head.

    He is drawn to you and he knows it. Though he feels that love is compromising his willpower. He would normally never do A but he has gone back on his promise to himself with you. That much control is dangerous and it scares him. Those are the type that could murder someone for you.

    He might feel that you are courting other gentlemen callers. Yeah, he's not the one to fight for what he wants.

    He might realize that you are out of his league. As status symbols that arise, he feels insecure with his masculinity if you have more money, a better car, better job, etc.

    He was told a lie by a rival woman to throw him off your scent. Yes, women do this to be malicious. But his trust in the other woman (maybe a previous woman he was interested in) is greater than the newly formed trust between you and him.

    Baggage. Not the kind of luggage you really want, as wounds heal the emotional scars might still be present. You might have done one or two things to throw up red flags. Before you realize what you did wrong, his is running for the hills. And that bastard stuck you with the check too. Grrr.

    Dealbreakers got to him. You may want to wait for marriage before having sex and he's a guy who would like to test everything out. Maybe you don't want kids and he does. Maybe you like crunchy peanut butter and he loves creamy peanut butter (you laugh but my friend has broken up with someone over that).

    His phone ran out of minutes or his phone plain broke. Sh*t happens and that's technology for you. Maybe the hypothetical situation asked was 'doesn't call' meant he hasn't called in 2 days. 2 DAYS OMG. Some women need to be in constant contact.

    Abducted by aliens, arrested for flashing, kidnapped by a serial killer named "Gravedigger" and is held for ransom (Yeah, it was a Bones reference), got into an accident and has amnesia, left society to be a hermit, joined a cult, heavily into drugs mainly acid, his momma told him that women is the devil (Billy Madison reference)

    That's all I got on the subject matter for now. :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • I'm thinking this author is rather immature - maybe ot worth the money BUT maybe this is intended to a primer for the clueless. Maybe you get your money back? You'll learn more on GAG than this book. He's not wrong, just incomplete and too wordy about pedestrian matters. Allow me to add my list, then smarter GAG guys than me may add theirs as well over time ...

    .. guys get distracted by life/business - "dates" are like vacations - everything else in life piles up to make time for the date

    .. guys do not always understand the importance of the call after a significant date nor the frequency of calls

    .. guys may not know how to handle afterward a date that regretfully had gone too far

    .. guys may need some time to escape the feeling of claustrophobia they associate with intimate moments

    .. some guys get what they want, then take off like a thief

    .. etc.

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  • Dare I ask this... does it matter "why" he didn't want to connect more with you?

    Isn't it better to focus on the guys who DO call back?

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  • I'd say those are three possibiities. Among others. also, he could be frightened of the close connection and afraid of losing control.

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  • All of the reasons already noted are possibilities. There's also

    -He came across something that's a deal-breaker to him.

    -The girl is baby crazy and can't wait to get married and have kids, and makes this known much too early on.

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  • 1- bullsh*t. if there's a connection u'll actually try to feel it out

    2- more bullsh*t.

    3. -yea kinda close

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  • Rubbish. There's way more than 3 reasons why something like that can happen.

    4) He's busy, and time slips away from him. Guys are quite capable of letting a "long" period of time go by without communication and not realising it, because guys don't communicate with the same necessity and frequency as women do.

    5) He may have needed some time to himself, because he was feeling smothered by the relationship.

    6) He may be temporarily annoyed with you for some reason, but not so annoyed that he wants to break up.

    There's an extra 3 for you, off the top of my head without even trying.

    And I'm sure there's more.

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