Hello all, thank you for the time and responses.
I know how long these on and off relationship stories can get, so I will try my best to make this short.
My ex and I have known each other for over 3 years. We have broken up twice, and both times were because she wanted to and then she started seeing someone else just a month or so afterward, so I was always suspicious.
We are both single now, and even though we have had ups and downs, we never left things on bad terms. We were always civil and adult about things. Don't get me wrong, I have been through hell and back with/because of her, but I still love her and want her to be happy. But I won't make myself the fool again.
My question is simple, would you fight for the one you love, even if they have broken your heart in the past? We are both fairly young (23yrs) so in the past I would hold back and let her make her own decisions on the things she is confused about rather than with me influencing her, but it seems I am just letting anyone else come in and take her. What would you do?
Most Helpful Girl
she isn't yours to take, though. I guess I can't relate to your question, as I view myself as a completely able, independent person. Regardless of how anyone feels about me and how they express that, if I don't want them, it doesn't matter. I'm not easily influenced and I have a mind of my own. I only prefer people who are the same, generally. so it would be their decision regardless, there's no "or" in it.
I'll make my feelings known, but if the other person doesn't want to be with me, then its bordering desperation and harassment to continually "fight" to be with them. its okay to be in love, but its also important to be intelligent and adult about things, and to understand that just because YOU love someone, they don't have to (and sometimes wont) love you back. a relationship can't be sustained on using powers of persuasion to "influence" other people. that's not healthy. its also not healthy for someone who doesn't know what they want to be with you simply because you really want to be with them. its manipulative to them and ultimately unfair to you. you should want someone to be with you because they want to be with you, and not because you're going to "influence" them. put your heart on the line, make it known how you feel, but after a few times of trying, you need to scrape up what little dignity you have left and move on. you'll only become a joke later on. my friends and I do talk about people we call "stalkers" who constantly come into our lives and try to win us over when we have repeatedly rejected them. its funny but we also feel bad for them. its just unfortunate to like someone (worse to love) who isn't interested in being with you for whatever reason. if you left a mark on her heart that she can't shake, and she feels that she wants you, shell come to you, even if at the eleventh hour. whether or not you're still open and available then is another story, but that is how life goes.
so my answer is that, in theory, I would be honest and let them know how I feel and id want to know what their reasons for not wanting to be with me were. if I feel they are things that can be overcome, I might stick around. if they simply aren't interested in me, then I need to suck it up and go home. its hard to get over that stuff, but you really need to for your own happiness. in reality, I've never chased after someone who didn't want me though - too much pride. I don't even have patience for constant on/off again deals. however, some people find happiness after miserably sticking it out. if that person came back to me, depending on the situation, I wouldn't have an issue with starting again if there were no bad feelings between us. sometimes it is about where you are in life, if you need time to realize what you want/need, etc. and that's fine, but if I'm no longer into them or not single, then that's their loss. same for me - I've dumped a guy before then realized later that I wanted to be with him and it was too late.0