People, are you the thing that's holding you back from a great dating life/relationship? What could you do?

if you're your worst enemy, what do you think you can do to to make things right?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone is inclined to behave in certain ways in certain situations. some ways are less productive than others and they're all individual. You gotta accept you have these inclinations first off. After that you gotta try and work out why you do the things you do. There's always a reason. If it's hard to find out, read some books on psychology. The more you understand about people, and thus you, the easier it is to figure yourself out, or alternatively get a shrink to help you. anyone that says "just do this instead" doesn't understand there's always stuff behind actions that have to be resolved first. Doing what you do, you've created a feedback loop in your thinking that reinforces itself. Being able to rationalise it means you can look at it more logically and try and think of some ways to get around or avoid such actions. The very act of thinking these things means if they're about to happen you're more likely to catch yourself at it and "head yourself off at the pass". With repetition you can create another loop that intersects the first one. This is effectively reprogramming yourself.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i have always had a problem with being quite insecure in relationships,i always feel its only a matter of time before the guy dumps me or cheats on me(was cheated on in a previous relationship) and that tends to make me clingy and needy,im currently seeing a man who lives about an hours drive away from me,and while I still feel quite insecure I always tell him my worries and concerns and he is very understanding,and I'm starting to feel I can open up to him,so for me talking about my worries has helped alot,and he doesn't mind if I'm clingy lol which is lucky for me

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    • Sounds like ya met a good one- jsut dnt 4get to risk losing love- it's better than staying shut off from it...

    • I am lucky,and its true you have to take risks in life to gain the full effect from being in love with someone

    • Ya get tha 'thumbs up' from me...

  • Yep I am-i lack confidence-if I had confidence I think my dating life could be great because I would actually be able to ask a guy out.

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What Guys Said 2

  • STOP THINKING

    START ACTING

    and that was no capslock writing, it's just what I try to do, yet I'm a horrible failure at following my own advices :(

    That's just as much as I can tell about that

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  • Stop overthinking things, dammit.

    I make up my mind to ask someone out, and then I continue to enumerate all the ways in which it could turn out badly.

    In the end, of course, I don't ask her out at all. Somewhat pathetic, that is.

    What germanotaku said.

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